


Quinn, Season 4

by WildDogJJ



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 71,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildDogJJ/pseuds/WildDogJJ
Summary: The fourth season of my spinoff about Quinn finds our characters dealing with financial and personal hardships during the 2008/2009 Recession.
Relationships: Quinn Morgendorffer/Original Male Character, Stacy Rowe/Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer III
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Return Of The Misery Chick

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Return of the Misery Chick"**   
**written by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

A now 25 year old Quinn was seated at her vanity while a now fully grown Storm was laying next to her seat on the floor. Quinn was writing in her diary. She thinks as she writes...

_August 5, 2008. Dear Diary, It's been a whole year since I wrote anything so I figure it's time to bring you up to speed, and what a year it's been. Jim and I are still together and still going strong. We love each other and we're so happy together that I can't imagine any other kind of life._

She takes a sip of water before she resumes writing.

_Speaking of relationships, Jamie and Nicole are still going strong. In fact, those two are just as in love as Jim and I are. They're doing so well that Jamie's even moved in with her now. Those two are really good for each other. Chuck and Stacy's marriage is still solid. In fact, they're currently trying to have a kid. Sandi and Joey, on the other hand, broke up. This surprised no one as once the initial spark wore off all those two ever seemed to do was fight. As for the people in Boston, Jane is still dating that archeologist, Alan, while Daria is still struggling to find a job. It doesn't help that we're in a recession. Even I'm feeling the effects of this one. Morgendorffer and Daughter keeps losing clients while Jim's hours at Rowe Automotive have been cut back to part-time, so money is a little tight right now. Jim started a YouTube channel about cars and has monetized it. That helps somewhat, though it'll need time to catch on before he can make enough to do that for a living. I worry about Daria. She entered the job market just as things were starting to go south. The current job market is so tight that no one has any chance of finding work right now. I know we didn't always have the best relationship growing up, but she is my sister and I can't help worrying about her. I hope she's okay. I told her she can come to me if she needs money, but I know she won't. She's too damn proud._

Quinn closed the book and got up. Storm happily wagged his tail, which Quinn noticed.

"That's right, Storm. Mommy's gonna take you for your walk now."

With that, Quinn walks over to Storm's leash and attaches it.

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Boston...**

Daria and Jane were in the mail room making small talk while Jane checks their PO box.

"...so my latest piece remains unsold" Jane said.

Daria replied "You mean to tell me that no gallery was interested?"

"Oh, they were interested," said Jane, "They just didn't wanna pay for it. But, enough about me. How was your day?"

Daria said "Boring. There's no greater tedium than looking for a job during a recession. I would've checked the want ads but I haven't seen a help wanted ad in the paper in months. I see a lot of "not hiring" signs, though."

Jane opened the PO box and went through the mail.

"Let's see...final notice...notice of late fee...letter from collection agency...subpeona, I'm being sued for credit default...again...bill, which we can't afford to pay."

"In other words, the usual."

"Pretty much," said Jane, "That's what it's like for an unemployed PhD holder and starving artist these days."

"Damn recession" said Daria.

They now proceed up the stairs to their second floor apartment. As they did they continued talking.

Jane said "It was nice of our landlord to let us slide on the rent for the last few months."

Daria replied "Well, I'm sure he wants a sexual favor from one of us. If we were guys we would've been evicted by now."

"You always see the bright side, don't you."

They approach the door to their apartment and find a note taped to the door. Jane took the note down. Both her and Daria's eyes went wide as they read it. They both said the same thing at the same time.

"Eviction notice!?"

* * *

**Later, inside the apartment...**

Daria and Jane were seated on the couch and nervously discussing the situation.

Daria said "You said he was letting us slide on the rent."

"I thought he was," said Jane, "I guess he ran out of patience. "

Daria looked at the eviction notice.

"It says we have one week to pack up and leave. There's just one problem: where to go. If we can't afford this dump then we can't afford anyplace else either."

Jane said "Let's not start looking at homeless shelters just yet. My boyfriend, Alan, recently took a teaching position at Columbia, in New York. He wants me to come with him as he thinks we're at the point of living together and, in light of this development, I don't disagree."

Daria frowned as this still left her out in the cold.

"Okay, you have an archaeologist boyfriend that you can mooch off of."

Smirking, Jane said "If we Lanes are good at anything, it's mooching. Just ask Trent."

"That doesn't solve my dilemma," Daria replied, "You have a sugar daddy, I don't."

Jane smirked again.

"Trent lives in Queens, you can move in with him." Teasing, Jane added "Your old high school dream come true."

Daria gave Jane a hostile look.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," said Jane, "Still, he wouldn't mind taking you in. You're as much a sister to him as I am."

Daria said "If only he wasn't already sharing a studio apartment with his bandmates. It could get pretty crowded."

Jane conceded that Daria had a point. "Yes, that is a predicament" she said with a frown. "I guess it'll have to be the homeless shelter for you."

Daria frowned.

"There is one other option. I'm gonna have to make the supreme sacrifice."

Jane's eyes went wide.

"You don't mean...?"

Daria has an even more dreadful frown.

"Yes, I'm moving back to... _shudder_...Lawndale."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, the next evening...**  
 **Music:** "Who Says You Can't Go Back" by Bon Jovi

Quinn and Jim were having dinner and talking about their day. Jim was telling her about the latest development at his job.

"...so now Mr. Rowe is seriously considering downsizing. This has me especially worried."

Quinn tried to reassure him.

"Don't worry, Jim. So your hours were cut to part time. It doesn't mean he'll throw you under the bus."

Unconvinced, Jim said "If things keep on like this he might have no choice." After a brief pause, he said "But enough about me, how was your day?"

Quinn frowned.

"I lost another client."

Now, Jim looks especially grim. The phone rings.

"I'll get it" said Quinn.

She got up and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Her face lit up in a smile upon realizing who it was. "Hi, sis!"

On the other end of the line, Daria said "Hey, Quinn. I have a problem."

Quinn noted the tone in Daria's voice and was worried.

"What's wrong?"

Daria said "Jane and I are being evicted from our apartment. He have to be out by the end of the week. "

Sympathetic, Quinn said "Daria, that's terrible. I'm so sorry."

"It gets worse," Daria went on, "Jane is moving to New York with her boyfriend. Since I don't have that option, I have to move back to Lawndale."

Quinn asked "Do Mom and Dad know?"

"Have you heard anyone explode?" Daria asked in turn. "I'm calling them next. I wanted to tell you first as a practice run. I'm afraid they'll accuse me of being lazy when I tell them that I have to move back in with them."

Quinn said "Daria, you couldn't find a job because of the recession. They'll understand that."

Skeptical, Daria said "Mom won't. She believes ambition and hard work are enough. She might think she's rewarding laziness by taking me in."

Quinn tried to be optimistic. "You know that's not true. It's not your fault that you're in this situation. Mom and Dad will take you in, I know it. You're family, after all. But if I'm wrong you're more than welcome to stay with me and Jim."

"Thanks," said Daria, "But space might be tight given that you two live in a one bedroom apartmant. Also, aren't you and Jim having some financial trouble of your own?"

"Still, you're my sister. I won't turn you away." At this point, Quinn got an idea. "Tell you what, Daria, Jim and I can come up this weekend and help you move. How does that sound?"

Daria looks anxious.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's house...**

Stacy was in the bathroom looking at a strip that she'd peed on with great interest.

_It says to wait five minutes. I've been nauseous lately and my period was supposed to start four days ago. Could this finally be it?_

Stacy looked at her watch.

_Moment of truth._

She takes a look at the pregnancy test and gasps.

From downstairs her husband, Chuck, called out. "Stacy, I'm home my ever so lovely wife."

**The kitchen, later...**

Chuck and Stacy Ruttheimer were having dinner at the kitchen table. Stacy was talking about her day.

"...so after we wrapped I decided to take the rest of the day off. How was your day?"

Chuck looked very worried.

"Nicole and I went over the quarterly earnings. Feisty IT suffered it's first loss since 2001 last quarter."

"Oh, Chuck, I'm sorry." After a moment, she asked "You're not gonna lay off Nicole, are you?"

Chuck sighed.

"No, I just can't bring myself to throw a mutual friend to the wolves in order to save money," he said, "But I think we should table the whole idea of having a kid for now. With the way things are going I don't think it's financially feasable at this time. My business is starting to go downhill."

Stacy said "Don't worry. We've lived pretty modest for our means. I know you have money saved up and my paycheck can be stretched to cover the cost of having and raising a child."

Too proud to admit he's doubting himself, Chuck said "Look, I just would be more comfortable if we waited until the future of Feisty was more certain. You said if I changed my mind about children you'd respect that. I mean, what if bringing a child into this world just condemns said child to poverty? It would almost be cruel for us to have children now. Anyway, I just don't think now is a good time anymore." He now clearly wants to change the subject. "Anything else happen today?"

Stacy now looked very awkward.

"I'm pregnant."

Both of his eyes went wide.

* * *

 **Act II**  
 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Everything She Wants" by Wham!

Stacy has just dropped a bombshell on her husband: She's pregnant.

"You're pregnant!?!" exclaimed a visibly panicked Chuck, "How in the hell did you get pregnant!?"

Stacy rolled her eyes.

"Duh, I went off of the pill six months ago because we decided we were ready for kids, remember? We've been having unprotected sex on an almost nightly basis since then."

Chuck calms down as he realizes just how stupid his question was.

"I'm sorry, it's just a shock. I find out that you're pregnant immediately after changing my mind about having kids."

Stacy now looked concerned.

"Chuck, did you mean what you said before? About it being selfish and cruel to have a child now?"

Chuck said "I meant it at the time."

Stacy was slightly taken aback.

"You said it less than one minute ago!"

Chuck said "Yes, but a lot happened in that minute. Look at the facts, my company could go under and that will affect my ability to take care of you."

Stacy replied "And I told you my paycheck can be stretched to cover us and a child if that happens. Just because the economy's in the toilet right now and Feisty IT had a bad quarter doesn't mean your company's about to go under. Even if it does my job as a reporter is secure. I make enough money to provide for both of us."

Chuck felt as if he'd just had his self esteem completely destroyed.

"But I'm a man. Providing for a family is my responsibility."

Stacy threw her arms up and let out a frustrated sigh.

"This isn't the fifties, Chuck. There's no shame in a woman being the breadwinner or the man being a stay at home dad, and it's not like we're in that situation to begin with. You're over thinking things again."

Nervous, Chuck said "I'm probably gonna get in serious trouble for this, but...um...well...you see...maybe...abortion?"

That earned him an immediate death stare from his wife.

"How dare you say that to me!" hissed Stacy in a tone that'd make Sandi Griffin proud.

Visibly frightened, Chuck meekly asked "B-but, I thought you were pro-choice?"

Adamant, Stacy said "Yes, and my choice is to have this baby!"

Chuck was now so nervous that he's unable to form a complete sentence.

"But...but...money...need...money...kid...cost...money..."

Stacy angrily cut him off. "Look, we'd already decided to have kids. We've been trying to concieve for six months now and when we succeed you get cold feet. You decide you're not ready for kids after you've already knocked me up. News flash, buster: TOO DAMN LATE!"

Chuck could feel his backbone and testicles shrinking by the second.

"B-but....but..."

With rapidly rising anger in her voice, Stacy said "Look, you chickening out doesn't change the fact that I'm pregnant and I'm having this baby. I need you to be loving and supportive now more than ever and you want me to get an abortion!? SCREW YOU!!!"

Stacy got up and stormed off in a huff. Once she was gone, Chuck let out a resigned sigh.

_Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch tonight._

* * *

**Morgendorffer house, the next day...**

Daria's old room still had the padded walls and reinforced doors as Helen never did get around to redecorating. Inside, Quinn was helping Daria unpack while Jim was hooking up her computer.

Looking around, Jim was impressed. He'd been told what Daria's old room was like over the years, but this is the first time he's seen it for himself.

"This has to be the coolest room I've ever seen. It's like a comment on society in general."

Daria smiled when she heard this. Next, she turns her attention to Quinn.

"And you used to think this room was geeky."

"Don't remind me," said Quinn with an eye roll, "I actually thought it was scary. Being a shallow girl was my defense mechanism back then."

Turning to Jim, Daria said "By the way, Jim, thanks for driving the van with all of my stuff."

"No problem," said Jim with a smile, "I mean, that's what guys are for."

At this point, Jake and Helen entered. Jake was absolutely thrilled to have Daria back at home while Helen is visibly displeased.

"Welcome home, kiddo!" Jake beamed.

Helen said nothing but shot Jake an angry look that frightened him to no end.

"EEP!"

Helen turned her attention to Jim. "It was nice of you to rent the van and haul the furniture. You understand the value of work." She turns her attention to Daria. "Unlike SOME people."

There's now a tense silence. One could hear a pin drop. Jim was the first to speak.

"Um, I think I'll just go to the living room and watch some TV."

Jake nervously said "I'll join you."

Helen gave her husband a death stare.

"You'll do no such thing, Jake! As for you, Jim," she now softened her tone slightly, "I think it would be best if you let the family talk in private."

Jim was all too happy to extract himself from this viper's nest. Once he's gone Helen turns her full wrath on Daria.

"Young lady, I am very disappointed in you. You clearly haven't been trying to get a job and now you come back here to mooch off of your father and I. I should charge you rent."

Sarcastic, Daria said "Nice to see you too, Mom."

"Don't you dare sass me!" Helen barked, "Just admit that you're lazy and selfish."

Quinn immediately sprang to her sister's defense.

"Hey! That's not fair. She has been trying but it's hard to get a job when there's a recession going on. It's not her fault that she's unemployed."

Helen was in lawyer mode, meaning she was going to do whatever it took to win this argument. "Don't give me that crap! I got a job straight out of law school and that was during the era of stagflation*. Daria, if you really wanted a job you would've gotten one, but no, you chose to be lazy and apathetic instead."

*( **Author's note:** for those of you who aren't economists, stagflation is when you have skyrocketing inflation and a recession happening at the same time. The US economy went through this from 1973 to 1975 and again from 1979 to 1981.)

Jake chimed in.

"Um, Actually, Helen, I think Daria has been trying but in this economy..."

Helen got right in his face.

"DON'T YOU DARE CONTRADICT ME, JAKE!"

Jake took a huge step back.

"EEP!"

Daria said "Mom, I have been trying. You seem to think it's easy but it's not. The last thing I wanted was to move back here. I'm only doing it because it's either that or the homeless shelter."

Helen, determined to win at any cost, said "You have one month to get a job. If you don't then I suggest you go to the homeless shelter with all of the other bums. I put a lot of money into your education and now it's all wasted. Look at Quinn. She has strong work ethic, that's why she's co-owner of your father's business."

Quinn said "Muh-om, we're losing clients left and right despite our best efforts. They all increasingly view us as an unesssary expense."

Helen said "Be that as it may, at least you try. Daria, on the other hand, lets her anti-social mask hold her back. The recession is just an excuse."

Sarcastic, Daria said "Such a warm welcome. Look, Mom, I did try. It's not my fault. I need help and instead I get criticized and insulted." Her tone grows increasingly angry. "You make a demand and set an unrealistic time table. You even compare me unfavorably to your favorate daughter. Just like Grandma Emma. I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree."

Helen was now totally insensed.

"WELL, I NEVER!!!! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

Daria frowned while Quinn was visibly frustrated.

* * *

 **A street in Lawndale, later that day...**  
 **Music:** "Cry For Help" by Shinedown.

Jim's Camaro was going down the street. Inside, Jim was driving while a very angry Quinn was in the passenger seat.

"I can't believe how unreasonable Mom's being!" Quinn fumed. "Where the hell does she get the nerve, anyway!?"

Jim admitted "I can sort of understand where she's coming from."

Quinn immediately turns her wrath on her boyfriend.

"WHAT!?! JIM, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!"

"EEP!!"

His frightened reaction caused Quinn to immediately calm down.

"Jim, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just really upset."

Shrugging it off, Jim said "Don't worry, I get it. As for your mom, I think she sees Daria's unemployment as a sign that she failed as a parent. She also doesn't understand your sister's position because she's never been in it herself. You could try to reason with her once cooler heads prevail."

Quinn knew her mother was too proud to ever admit being wrong, even when it's obvious.

"Jim, my mother's one of the most stubborn people in the world. She'll never admit being wrong because her self-esteem is completely dependent on always being right. That's just the way lawyers are."

At this point they turn into their apartment complex and are surprised to find someone waiting for them. That someone is Chuck Ruttheimer, and he looks down. They park the car and walk up to him.

"Chuck, what are you doing here?" asked Jim.

After a defeated sounding sigh, Chuck said "I need to talk to you guys."

Quinn asked "Where's Stacy?"

Radiating shame, Chuck said "That's what I need to talk to you about. Stacy and I are having problems."

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, a short time later...**

Chuck, Quinn and Jim were seated at the table. Chuck was telling them about the situation.

"...so now I'm having second thoughts about kids but it's too late. Stacy's pregnant."

Jim reassured his friend.

"You had one bad quarter. It doesn't mean your company's about to go under."

"But what if it does?" asked Chuck, "I don't want the burden of providing to fall on my wife. It's emasculating."

Jim now looks thoughtful.

Quinn said "Chuck, you're over reacting. Your business just had a bad quarter, that's all. And what's with this whole provider trip, anyway?"

"Because if I can't provide for my family then what good am I?" asked Chuck in turn.

Quinn said "Chuck, this isn't about who provides and who takes care of home. You and Stacy are supposed to be a team. If you're in a financial bad spot she helps you out because you'd do the same for her. I think the real problem is that you're scared. You're afraid you won't be a good parent despite your best efforts."

"Easy for you to say," said Chuck, "You and Jim aren't about to be responsible for the well being of another human being. I'm scared that I won't measure up."

Just then, there's a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" said Jim.

He opened the door to find Daria standing there with a suitcase.

"Mom threw me out."

* * *

**Act III**   
**Quinn and Jim's apartment...**

Chuck, Jim, Quinn and Daria were seated around the table. Daria managed to get herself kicked out of home.

"Daria, what happened?" asked Quinn.

Daria explained "I tried to persuade Mom to make the job expectations more realistic but she wouldn't budge. We both lost our tempers and she told me to get out of her house, so that's what I did."

Quinn was now visibly furious.

"That's it! As soon as we're squared away with Chuck we're going over there and I'm talking some sense into her."

Daria turned her attention to Chuck.

"What's going on with you, Upchuck...I mean Chuck?"

Chuck doesn't take offense at being called by his old nickname. "A few months ago Stacy and I stopped using birth control because we decided to have kids. Now she's pregnant but I'm having second thoughts. We've been fighting about it nonstop since then. She doesn't seem to understand that the recession has me worried about my ability to provide. If Feisty IT goes under how will I take care of her when she's nine months pregnant?"

"She's a TV news reporter," said Daria, "I think she makes enough money to do it herself."

Chuck winced. She might as well have been castrating him when she said that.

"But I'm the man. I'm the one who's supposed to provide."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Chuck, you really don't get it, do you? You and Stacy are a team. You need to work out this issue."

Daria said "Granted, none of my relationships lasted more than a year so I'm no expert, but I think you need to talk this out with her. Explain where you're coming from and why you're having misgivings. Another thing is to stop thinking how it should be and try to do what works for you and Stacy instead. If it doesn't conform to a set ideal and people judge you for it then screw them. It's your and Stacy's life, do what works for you two. Besides, our society's concept of masculinity is a relic from a bygone era."

Chuck has a look of realization on his face. "You're right. I should stop worrying about the what ifs and focus of the what is. Stacy is pregnant, my company is losing business. That has yet to result in me being without a job but if it comes to that we'll deal with it then. If that means Stacy and I lose everyone's respect then so be it. We pretty much made a vow to be us against the world anyway."

 _Now he gets it_ Quinn thought. Out loud, she said "Remember, if you need it there's no shame in turning to us for help."

Chuck was relieved. "Thanks." Looking at his watch, he added "I'd best get going. The sooner Stacy and I make up the better."

With that he leaves. Once he's gone...

"Daria, let's pay Mom a visit" said Quinn. Turning to her boyfriend, she added "Jim, you don't mind taking Storm for his walk, do you?"

"Not at all."

He got up from his seat.

"Hey, Storm, it's time for your walk."

Storm was excited to hear that.

* * *

**Morgendorffer House, evening....**

Quinn and Daria walked up to the front door. Quinn had a look of fierce determination on her face as she rang the bell. Helen answered.

"Quinn, Daria!?"

With fierce determination in her voice, Quinn said "Mom, we need to talk."

Helen was surprisingly humble in her response.

"Yes, we do."

The living room, a short time later...

Jake, Helen, Quinn and Daria were all seated around the coffee table. Helen was explaining the reason for her sudden transformation.

Helen said "Your father and I have been discussing things and he made me realize that I was being unreasonable. I just figured that an advanced degree would open doors for you because that's what it did for me. I forgot that that wasn't really the case for me either."

Jake said "I reminded her that the reason she took that job in Highland was because it was the only one she could get. The economy was pretty bad in the late seventies and early eighties, too."

Helen added "When we got to Highland it took your father nearly six months to find a job and he was laid off a year later."

"I see," said Daria, "Yet you decided to have children."

"Actually," said Helen, "You were conceived as a result of our celebrating his finding another job after eight months of looking."

Quinn scrunched her nose.

"Ewwww! We didn't need to know that part."

Daria agreed with her sister.

"Too much information, Mom."

Helen now looks a little sheepish.

Jake went on to say "I was laid off again in 1982. That one was especially stressful because by then we not only had you, Daria, but your mother was pregnant again."

Added Helen "By the time you were born, Quinn, the economy had turned around and your father had another job, which he hated."

Jake suddenly looked angry.

"Fourteen years of abuse by that mini Mussolini who never ONCE..."

Quinn immediately stepped in.

"Dad, your heart!"

This snapped Jake out of his impending rant.

"Thanks, sweetie."

Getting back on subject, Helen said "The point is that I'd forgotten how hard it is to start a career in a bad economy but now that I'm reminded I'd like to apologize. Daria, you're my daughter and you'll always be welcome here, even if you never get a job."

"Thanks, Mom," said Daria, "Just know that if I don't get a job it's not for lack of trying."

Daria and Helen hugged.

Pleased, Quinn thought _Well, that went a lot better than expected. I hope Chuck has the same luck making up with Stacy._

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's house...**  
 **Music:** "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne

In the living room Chuck was calmly explaining his concerns to Stacy.

"...so I was worried about my ability to measure up as a husband and father if we wind up in a situation where I can't contribute financially. When you told me you were pregnant I panicked and just started blurting out a bunch of asinine BS. I'm sorry."

Stacy put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Chuck. It doesn't matter who makes the bigger financial contribution. My salary isn't my money, it's our money. Why do you think all of the bank accounts are in both of our names? If you can't contribute as much because business is slow that's okay."

Chuck said "I have to admit I was also second guessing my own judgement. That loss last quarter had me really rattled. If I'm not as good a businessman as I thought then maybe I'm not as good a husband and potential father as I thought either."

"It's okay," said Stacy, "You had a bad quarter, that's all. That's to be expected in a recession. Besides, there are other ways to contribute. Ways that are more important than money."

Chuck looked curious.

"Such as?"

Stacy had a playful smile.

"You won't be as grossed out by the dirty diapers."

They both laugh. After this, she gets very affectionate.

Tracing a finger down her husband's chest, Stacy said "Tell you what, stud, since I'm already pregnant why don't we have a little..." her voice takes on a sultry tone, "...fun. As in no clothes allowed fun."

Chuck perked up.

"You mean...?"

With a naughty smile, Stacy said "Yep. A night of hot make up sex."

Chuck had no problem with that.

"Grrrr, feisty!"

They were out of their clothes in record time.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Big Yellow Taxi" covered by Counting Crows

Daria was sitting on her bed looking at a picture. It was a picture of her and Jane. Daria stared with a sad expression on her face until...

"Daria."

Daria looked up to find a concerned looking Quinn standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Quinn."

Walking in, Quinn said "You look really down. What's wrong?"

Daria said "I just can't believe how it all turned out. I thought I'd be fully self sufficent by now. Instead I find myself right back where I started."

Quinn sat down next to her sister.

"Is that really so bad?"

Daria sighed.

"I'm used to it being me and Jane against the world. I just can't accept the fact that I'm alone again."

Quinn put an arm around Daria.

"You're not alone, sis. Jane's still your friend. She only lives four hours away. Even if the distance causes you two to drift apart, which I doubt, you'll always have me."

Daria thought back to when she and Quinn were kids. The irony wasn't lost on her.

"You used to claim to be an only child out of embarrassment, now you constantly try to be my best friend. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. I just thought how ironic it is that we actually get along now.:

Feeling guilty, Quinn said "About the whole cousin thing, if I could take that all back I would."

"I know, Quinn," said Daria, "Besides, when I honestly look back on that time I'm forced to admit that I wasn't exactly sister of the year material myself." She sighed before changing the subject. "What really has me upset is that after eight years this place just doesn't feel like home anymore."

Quinn gave her own take on the issue. "Daria, home is wherever you're surrounded by people who care about you. Any place where I have a loved one is home to me. You're my sister. I probably don't say it enough, but I love you."

Daria smiled.

"I love you too, Quinn."

With that, the two sisters hug.

**End Credits**

* * *

**Next Time**  
Jim loses his job while Jamie receives some bad news that threatens his future with Nicole.


	2. Acceptible Losses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim loses his job while Jamie receives some bad news that could jeopardize his relationship with Nicole.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song** : "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Acceptible Losses"**   
**written by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**Pizza King, day...**

Quinn and Nicole were having pizza and catching up.

"So," said Quinn, "How's work?"

"Nervewracking," Nicole admitted, "Chuck's been a bit of a hard ass lately. I can't say I blame him though. Feisty IT had a bad second quarter and Stacy's pregnant, so he's under a lot of pressure. You?"

Quinn said "Good and bad. The good part is I have a lot more free time lately. The bad part is I have more free time because we keep losing clients. I don't wanna cut staff, since the only employees are Erin and Mariela, but if things don't pick up Dad and I might have to."

Nicole said "I worry about that too. Granted, Chuck promised to keep me on no matter what, but I still worry. After all, Jamie can't contribute because he's still in school. Thank God for the GI Bill."

Wanting to talk about something other than the lousy economy, Quinn asked "How are you guys doing, by the way?"

Smiling, Nicole said "Great. Frankly, just coming home to Jamie's the high point of any day, good or bad. How are things with you and Jim?"

"Couldn't be better," said Quinn, "I'm actually starting to picture a future where we're married with kids."

With an understanding nod, Nicole said "It's the same with me and Jamie. Don't get me wrong, it's too soon for marriage, but I can totally see myself still with him in ten years."

Quinn raised her glass of Diet Ultra.

"To great relationships."

Nicole raised her soda.

"Cheers!"

They clinked their sodas.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Rowe Automotive...**

John Rowe, Stacy's father and Jim's boss, was seated behind his desk reviewing some documents with a forlorn expression on his face. Business has been steadily going down since December (when the recession hit) and he'd just seen the massive loss on the August earnings statement. He'd already cut the hours of several employees (including Jim) but it wasn't enough. He sighed.

_I don't wannna do this. I was worried this day would come. All those dedicated people I have to let go. I wish there was another way, but the numbers just don't agree with me._

**The employee lounge, later...**

A bunch of people are looking very anxious. Jim came in and immediately noticed the tension. He walked up to one of his colleges, a blonde receptionist who happens to be named Jennifer Burns, but still known by the nickname Burnout Girl.

"What's going on, Jen?" asked Jim.

Burnout Girl said "Mr. Rowe was going over the earnings and realized that we can't afford to keep going at our current size. Even cutting everyone to part time isn't enough to set off the losses now."

Jim instantly became very worried.

"You mean...?"

With a solemn nod, Burnout said "Yes, cutbacks. He's laid off three people already."

Just then a voice came from John Rowe's office...

"WHAT!?! YOU'RE LETTING ME GO!?!"

"Sounds like another casualty" said Burnout Girl.

Just then, the door to John's office violently swung open. A man in his late fifties with a blad spot and a beer gut angrily stormed out. His name was Vinnie Moreno, Jessie Moreno's father and Rowe Automotive's most senior employee.

"I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE YOU FIRST OPENED THIS PLACE AND NOW YOU'RE JUST TOSSING ME OUT ON MY ASS!!!! YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL SONOFABITCH!!!!!"

With genuine sorrow in his voice, John said "Vinnie, I'm sorry. I don't wanna do this, I have to."

Vinnie was too inconsoleable to be reasonable.

"SHOVE YOUR APOLOGY UP YOUR ASS, YOU UNGRATEFUL SON OF A CUNT!!"

With that, Vinnie storms out, knocking over a coffee mug for good measure.

 _Oh, man!_ thought a VERY worried Jim, _This place must really be bleeding if he's letting go of old stalwarts like Vinnie. How much worse can it get?_

Standing at his office door with a depressed frown on his face, John said "Jim, could I see you in my office? We....we need to talk."

Jim gasped in horror. It's obvious who's getting the ax next.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**  
 **Music:** "You Spin Me Round" by Flo Rida

Quinn and Jim were having dinner and talking about their day.

Quinn said "...so after Mr. DeAngelis called to cancel his appointment I took the rest of the day off. How was your day, honey?"

Jim said nothing. He just stared at his food and sighed.

Noticing her boyfriend's behavior, Quinn asked "Honey, what's wrong?"

Jim sighed again before answering.

"I got laid off today."

Quinn was immediately sympathetic.

"Jim, I'm so sorry."

Bitter, Jim asked "How sorry can you be?"

Quinn was taken aback.

"That's not fair! I'm on your side, remember?"

"Why?" asked Jim, "You have a job and I don't. How can you be with someone who can't provide? I'm useless now."

Quinn asked "Where's this coming from?"

Jim said "The knowledge that a man who isn't a provider is just a penis with problems attached."

Rolling her eyes, Quinn said "That's your father talking, Jim. What happened to you can happen to anyone. It..."

Before she can continue the phone rings. As she was closest it was Quinn who got up and answered.

"Hello?" She suddenly looked like she wanted to hit something and her voice took on a hostile tone. "I see...Yes, he's here." She hands the phone to Jim. "It's your father."

Jim takes the phone.

"Hi, Dad. What's going on?"

Tony said "I wanted to catch up. I see you're still with that little slut."

This made Jim angry.

"I told you not to insult my girlfriend, Dad."

In a threatening tone, Tony said "And what are you gonna do about it? If you were a real man you would've proven it by enlisting and killing ya some terrorists, not gone to some fancy-smancy college for good old boys and pinhead commie intellectuals. I'll call that insubordinate little t--- whatever I want and if you don't take it we're gonna have a problem. A big one. Do we understand each other, boy?"

Jim took a deep breath to calm himself down. "What I understand..." he growled, "...is that you're a toxic asshole."

"CALL ME THAT AGAIN, YOU FUCKING INGRATE," Tony barked, "AND I'LL CUT YOU OFF. That means you never get to speak wit' your mother or your brother ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

Jim froze. He knew Tony could and would ruin his life, and force Chris and Gina to do the same, if he didn't take his father's shit.

"DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?" Tony yelled, "Or do I have to come up there and beat it inta you?"

Jim knew this was no idle threat.

"Yes."

Calming down, Tony asked "So, how are things?"

Jim said "I was laid off today."

In a condescending tone, Tony said "So now Quinn's the man instead of you. Why am I not surprised? You realize she won't respect you now, not that she did before. You always were an easily whipped pussy-ass."

Sarcastic, Jim said "Way to make me feel better, Dad."

"Don't be so goddamn sensitive, ya woman," said Tony, "I'm trying to toughen you up. Lemme tell you something, when a woman likes a man it's because he provides well for her. Since you've lost the ability to do that she will soon stop seeing you as a man and start seeing you as a useless burden. How long do you think it'll be before she realizes she better off without you and dumps your ass? Or maybe she'll keep you around since you're so whipped and just cheat on you with a real man."

Jim now looks very insecure.

"Um, Dad...I...I gotta go. Tell Mom I said hi."

"I will," said Tony, "Remember what I said, 'cause it's a truth as old as time."

After hanging up Jim sat back down at the table and looked totally dejected, which Quinn noticed.

"Jim, what's wrong?" she asked, "Did he say something?"

Jim couldn't even look her in the eye.

"I don't wanna talk about it!"

Now it's Quinn who looks dejected.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Nicole and Jamie's apartment...**

Jamie was seated at the kitchen table staring at a letter he'd opened. The contents of the letter had him feeling like he'd just been stabbed in the gut. He looked up when he heard the door open.

Nicole came in, having just gotten home from work.

"Sorry I'm late, babe. Chuck kept me to do calculations on all of our recent statements. He was so afraid I'd made a mistake that he kept making me do it over. I'd still be there if Stacy hadn't shown up and chewed his ass for being so hard on me."

"It's okay" said Jamie with a depressed frown.

Noticing the depressed expression, Nicole sat down at the table.

"Jamie, is something wrong?"

Jamie held up the letter he'd been looking at.

"This arrived in the mail today."

He gave the letter to Nicole. She proceeded to read it out loud.

"Cpl. James White...This letter is to inform you that your status has been upgraded from IRR to TAD." Looking up, she asked "What's TAD?"

"Temporary Additional Duty," explained a forlorn Jamie, "It means I've been called back into the Army."

Nicole gasped in horror.

Jamie continued "It says I'm to report to Fort Jackson, South Carolina no later than 15, October, 2008 to begin training for immediate deployment in accordance with Operation Iraqi Freedom."

Nicole was now stunned speechless.

"Yes," Jamie confirmed, "Not only have I been called back into the Army, but I'm being sent back to Iraq."

Nicole was now struggling not to cry.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's bedroom, later that evening...**

Storm was sleeping in a doggie basket while Quinn slept soundly in the bed. Jim, on the other hand, was laying awake. He's clearly too worried to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about the conversation he'd had with his father earlier.

_What if he's right? In this economy I have no chance of finding another job. I'll still try, but it looks like we'll be living on Quinn's income for the foreseeable future. She may end up resenting that. Why be with a man when you have to carry his weight? What if she decides to leave me? What if she gets to thinking cheating is a good idea since I'm no longer man enough?_

Jim got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a drink. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Quinn's purse with some of it's contents spilled out on the table. Jim walked over to the table and put the purse upright. As he does something catches his eye. That something is a check.

_What's this?_

He picked the check up and looked at it.

_It's from one of the clients they still have. Must be the consulting fee. I wonder how much she made._

Jim gasped when he saw how much money it was.

_That's a lot of money! It's official, Quinn has no use for me._

Jim puts the check back in Quinn's purse and had a look of pure shame on his face. He lays on the couch and tries to fall asleep.

* * *

**Act II**   
**Nicole and Jamie's apartment, night...**

Jamie and Nicole are having a heavy conversation. The topic happens to be Jamie's being called back into the Army.

"I'm sorry, Nicole," said a morose Jamie, "But I have to do this. If I'm not at Ft. Jackson next month them I'm AWOL."

"And there's no way out of this?" asked Nicole.

Jamie sighed.

"The only way out is if I'm unfit for service. Problem is I've kept up with my fitness routine since getting out."

"What about psychological issues?" asked Nicole, "Granted, you're no longer easily triggered but I happen to know you still have nightmares and the occassional bout of anxiety."

Jamie said "Not good enough. Even if I didn't have my PTSD under control the Army's disinclined to give a shit. Granted, the military has grown more accepting of PTSD's legitimacy in recent years but the 'be a man and suck it up' attitude is so entrenched in the culture it'll be at least a generation before significant progress is even possible. Unless I suffer a debilitating injury before then I'm going to South Carolina next month regardless of what either of us wants."

A part of Nicole seriously considered taking a bat to his kneecaps, but the rational side of her brain instantly shut down that idea. Besides, one of the reasons she loves Jamie is that he's far too honorable to worm his way out of duty by underhanded means.

"So...We're screwed?"

Jamie sighed.

"Pretty much."

Nicole started to cry.

Putting a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder, Jamie said "It's...well, I can't say it's okay but my report date is more than a month away. We have time to decide what this means for us."

Nicole threw her arms around Jamie.

"I... _sniff_...I know. I'm just scared."

Jamie wrapped Nicole in a warm embrace.

"Me too, Nicole. Me too."

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, the next morning...**

In the bedroom Quinn woke up and yawned. She then rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked to the other side of the bed. She's visibly surprised to see that Jim isn't there.

_Where is he?_

**The living room and kitchen, a few minutes later...**

Quinn came out of the bedroom and was surprised to see Jim sleeping on the couch. She walked up to him and shook him awake.

"Jim? Jim, wake up."

Jim stirs. He opened his eyes to see a worried Quinn.

"Jim, why are you sleeping on the couch?"

Jim said nothing and just sat up. Quinn then sat down next to him and was visibly concerned.

"Jim, is something wrong?"

Jim said "I couldn't sleep last night. I came out for a shot of liquor because I figured maybe it'd help and..." He decided not to tell her the rest. "...never mind. I just fell asleep on the couch."

"But why?" asked Quinn.

"Because..." Jim decided not to tell Quinn what's bothering him for fear of seeming like a drama queen. "Forget it. It's no big deal."

Quinn knew there was more to this than he's letting on.

"Jim, please talk to me. If something's wrong I wanna help."

Jim felt his balls actually shrink when she said that.

"Just forget it. I fell asleep on the couch, end of story."

Quinn said "Jim, are you upset about losing your job? I understand and I know it's impossible to find another job right now. If you're worried about money don't be. I still make enough to cover the bills."

Jim felt emasculated rather than relieved. In a defensive tone he said "I don't wanna talk about it."

Quinn was undeterred.

"Jim, you've been acting weird since yesterday evening. Did your father say something that upset you?"

That made Jim feel the one emotion men are allowed to express, anger.

"I SAID DROP IT!"

Quinn is taken aback.

"HEY, don't yell at me! I didn't do anything except try to help you."

Jim got up and walked away from her. He then turned around to face her. Angry, Jim said "Look, Quinn, I said I don't wanna talk about it and I don't wanna talk about it. I don't even wanna think about it."

"Jim, please calm down. I'm trying to help you."

Jim barked "I DON'T NEED HELP!" He calmed down before adding "Just leave me alone."

Jim stormed into the bathroom. This left Quinn feeling both hurt and annoyed.

* * *

 **Pizza King, later that day...**  
 **Music:** "Boom, Boom, Boom" by the Black Eyed Peas

Quinn and Nicole were having pizza and talking. Quinn was telling her friend what's going on.

"...and when I tried to get him to tell me what's bothering him he yelled at me. He gave me the silent treatment after that."

Nicole said nothing. She just sat there and sighed.

Seeing this, Quinn said "Earth to Nicole."

Nicole looked at Quinn. Quinn hadn't seen her friend's Japanese features marred by such saddness in years.

"Whoa! The last time you looked that sad was back in college when you told me about how you lost all your status back in high school. What's wrong?"

Nicole said "Jamie got a letter from the Army yesterday. He's been called back."

Quinn gasped and instantly forgot about her issues with Jim.

"Oh, Nicole!"

"I'm worried," said Nicole, "He has to report to a base in South Carolina next month for training. After that, they're shipping him off to Iraq."

"How long?" asked Quinn.

Nicole sighed.

"The letter didn't say how long he'd be deployed. According to Jamie, the training would likely be six weeks, which means he's shipping out to Iraq during the holidays."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

"This reminds me of the time Jim took that job in Tokyo."

"This is different," Nicole explained, "Jim decided you were more important, quit his job and came back. If Jamie does that he'll be court-marshalled for desertion and derelection of duty."

Quinn dwelled on this for a brief second. Finally...

"What happens after he finishes his next tour in Iraq?"

Nicole sighed.

"The Temporary Additional Duty expires after one year. After that he recieves a full honorable discharge."

"Can you wait that long?" asked Quinn.

Nicole gasped. She was too worried about losing Jamie to consider the possibility of everything getting back to normal in a year.

"I...I hadn't even thought about that!"

Quinn said "Look, it's obvious you and Jamie love each other. This could be a test of that."

Nicole asked "What do you mean?"

Quinn in turn asked "Where do you see yourselves in the future? You know, before all this."

Nicole said "I could actually see Jamie and I one day getting married and starting a family." She frowned. "Fat chance of that now."

"Not necessarily," said Quinn, "If you two have what it takes you might be able to pick things up when he comes back. Think about it, if you're willing to wait a year maybe you two have what it takes to make it for a lifetime. Do you love him?"

Nicole didn't even hesitate.

"Yes."

"Then wait for him. If what you have survives a year long seperation then he's definitely a keeper."

Nicole asked "What if he doesn't come back? What if one of us meets someone else in that time?"

Quinn answered those questions with one of her own.

"Would you rather break up and then wonder what might have been if you'd stuck it out?"

Nicole said "We both know long distance relationships don't work."

"This is a little different," said Quinn, "Barring the worst case scenario Jamie'll be back to stay by this time next year. It might be worth waiting. Maybe one of you finds someone else in that time, maybe he gets killed. I don't know, but I do know that if you don't try you'll wish you had. After all, what if you break up, find someone else and then he comes back and you both find you still want each other? Is it fair to the next guy if he you dump him to get back with Jamie? He'd feel like he was just an insurance policy."

"What should I do?" asked Nicole.

"Whatever your heart tells you" Quinn answered.

Nicole said nothing but looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

Jim was sitting on the couch watching TV. On the screen was a man and woman making out while another man, visibly heartbroken, watches.

"What's the worst thing about dating in a recession? Your girlfriend's unemployed husband's always home! Economic Adultry, next on Sick, Sad World!"

Jim immediately turned off the TV.

_Great! Now I have to worry Quinn might cheat on me and not even have the courtesy to be discreet._

At this point, Quinn came home.

"Hey, babe," she said, "How was your day?"

Jim groaned. "Lousy! I posted my resume online and got zero hits, then I went out and found a bunch of 'Sorry, not hiring' signs, then I find out a job fair planned for next week was cancelled as they couldn't get any employers to attend. After that I came home to watch TV, hoping it'd take my mind off of things. That plan backfired spectacularly since Sick, Sad World's running a story about wives cheating on their unemployed husbands."

Sitting next to Jim, Quinn said "Come on, Jim. You know I wouldn't do something like that to you."

Jim doesn't believe her.

"You say that now, but let's see how you feel in a few months when I'm still unemployed despite my best efforts."

Quinn was a little offended by the insinuation.

"Excuse me! I think you know me well enough to know I'm not like that!"

Jim sighed.

"Sorry. I...Well, I guess I'm just second guessing everything about myself, including our relationship."

Quinn said "Jim, this wasn't an issue when you came back from Japan."

"That was different," said Jim, "The job market was still good back then. Yes, I was unemployed for a little longer than expected but I still managed to get a job before the reality of the situation set in. I really don't think I'm gonna get lucky like that the second time around."

Quinn said "Jim, the economy's shedding hundreds of thousands of jobs a month. In fact, most projections now predict monthly job losses in the millions for the time being. Expecting you, expecting anyone, to get a job right now is unrealistic."

Jim sighed again. He had to admit she had a point.

Quinn decided to voice one of her suspicions. "Jim, did your father say something?"

Visibly uneasy, Jim said "Why do you ask?"

Quinn said "Because I know you and your father well enough to know that he has an uncanny ability to destroy your self-esteem on a whim."

Jim suddenly grew defensive.

"Are you calling me weak!?"

"What!?! No," said Quinn, "I just know how easy it is for a parent to break through a child's defenses."

"So, you think I'm a child!?" Jim barked.

Quinn groaned.

"No, but I thing your father said something to you that brought back some insecurities from your childhood."

Jim winced. He knew he was in for a long night.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Nicole and Jamie's apartment...**  
 **Music:** "Baby Boy" by Beyonce

Jamie and Nicole were seated at the kitchen table having dinner. Jamie was telling her about his day.

"...so I dropped all my classes at Lawndale State today. They said I'd have to repeat this semester if and when I return."

"And here I was hoping you could get a student deferment" Nicole joked.

Jamie found no humor in that.

"That's not funny, Nicole."

Frowning, she said "I know. I guess I'm just using bad humor to deal."

Jamie smiled. Her sense of humor was one of the things he loved about her.

"It's okay. Sorry I snapped, this whole situation has me feeling really uptight."

"I get that," said Nicole, "What about the tuition money?"

"I didn't ask," Jamie admitted, "Since I was going on the GI Bill it's no big deal. I'm pretty sure the university will square that with the Army."

Nicole took a deep breath before speaking.

"Jamie, about your situation. I've been thinking what that means for us...you know, our relationship."

"I've been thinking about that too" said Jamie.

Nicole said "I love you, Jamie, and the fact that you're being sent off to war doesn't change that."

"I love you too, Nicole," he said, "But it doesn't change the fact that I am being sent off to war. Before it was no big deal because I always happened to either be single or in a relationship where I wasn't all that emotionally invested. Now, I'm in a serious relationship. First off, there's the possibility that this deployment is where my luck runs out and I end up KIA or so badly mangled that I wish I'd been killed. Also, I know how combat changes a person. If I come back I probably won't be the same person you fell in love with. We may no longer be compatible as a result. Also, there's the possibility you meet someone else while I'm gone."

"I know," said Nicole, "But if you die I'd be devastated reguardless of whether or not we're still together so that's a non issue. As for one of us meeting someone else, that's something that could just as easily happen if you stay. It's not like we live in a cave somewhere. We live in a town that's in a large metropolitan area. One of us changing in a way that makes a relationship insustainable could also happen in any event. That's just human nature."

"Still," Jamie said with a morose frown, "I just don't see how it could work in these circumstances. That's why..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "...I think we should break up."

Nicole gasped in horror.

* * *

  
**Act III**   
**Nicole and Jamie's apartment, evening...**

Nicole and Jamie were having a heated discussion. Jamie had just told her he thinks they should break up.

"Jamie, no!" said Nicole as she struggled to hold back tears.

Also trying to keep it together, Jamie said "I'm sorry, Nicole. It has to be this way."

"B...But," said Nicole, "I love you!"

Jamie sighed.

"I love you too, Nicole, but we simply can't be."

"Why?" asked Nicole.

Jamie took a deep breath before explaining.

"Nicole, I'm going back to war. Before I didn't have to worry about leaving someone behind. I could focus on the mission and not concern myself with the fact that there's someone waiting for me to come home. Now, I have to worry that we never see each other again. Each day you'd have to wonder if you're gonna find out I was killed. I love you, which is why I can't ask you to go through that."

Nicole suddenly had a look of determination on her face.

"What if I told you I'm willing to take the risk?" she said. "Jamie, I've done some thinking and I've decided that I love you enough to stay with you despite the potential for grief and heart break. Yes, it's possible we drift apart while you're gone. Yes, it's possible you don't come back or you come back so messed up that I can't possibly deal. I know all that. I also know that I love you enough to take that risk. I'm just as afraid it won't work as you are, but I'm willing to try. Taking on all the baggage that comes with staying together is a price I'm willing to pay."

Jamie looked thoughtful...and more than a little impressed.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Quinn and Jim's apartment...**

Quinn and Jim were still arguing about his issues.

"Quinn," Jim practically growled, "You just accused me of being a man child!"

"Because right now you're acting like one" she snapped back.

Jim angrily got up from his seat. He put on a jacket and grabbed his car keys.

"Where are you going?" asked Quinn.

"The Liquid Dinner" Jim said.

Quinn angrily said "You can't just take off like that!"

"Watch me."

Jim stormed out before Quinn could get another word in.

**The Liquid Dinner, a short time later...**

Jim was sitting alone at the bar deep in thought while nursing a beer.

_I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. Quinn was trying to help and what do I do? Get angry and storm out on her just because I'm too damn proud to admit self doubt._

At this point, Jamie approached the bar.

"What'll it be, pal?" asked the bar tender.

"Beer" said Jamie.

As the bartender poured Jamie's beer Jim said "Hey, Jamie."

Paying the bartender, Jamie said "What brings you here, Jim?"

Jim sighed.

"Quinn and I had a fight."

"I see" said Jamie. After taking a sip of beer, he said "Join the club."

"What's your tale of woe?" asked Jim.

Jamie said "I've been called back into the Army. I have to report to Fort Jackson next month for training, then I ship off to Iraq. Nicole insists on waiting for me, but I think it'd be better to break up. What did you and Quinn fight about?"

Jim explained "I lost my job the other day."

Jamie said "And she's mad at you for that!?"

"No," said Jim, "She's mad because she knows I'm feeling insecure and won't open up about it."

"Can't say I blame her" replied Jamie.

Jim raised an eyebrow.

Jamie explained "You're worried that she'll have to carry her weight, aren't you?"

Jim nodded.

"Jim," Jamie continued, "Both Quinn and Nicole have told me about that time you quit your job and came back from Japan because you missed Quinn. Was this an issue then?"

Remembering, Jim said "No. In fact, she insisted I move in with her. I was reluctant because I had no job and didn't want her carrying my weight, but Quinn assured me that it was no big deal. The whole time I was looking for a job she was nothing but loving and supportive."

Jamie asked "What makes you think it'll be different this time around?"

Jim's voice took on a bitter tone as he said "My father. He called, I told him what happened and he said a bunch of stuff that brought back some issues from my childhood. Quinn's pissed because I won't talk to her about it."

Jamie said "Jim, your problem's easy to fix. Just tell Quinn what's on your mind. Most likely, she'll understand." After a sigh, Jamie said "I wish the solution with Nicole was that simple."

"It is," said Jim, "Jamie, how long are you in for?"

"One year."

Jim asked "And how would you like that year to end?"

Jamie said "I come home in one piece and Nicole welcomes me back with open arms."

Jim said "It sounds to me like that's what Nicole wants too. If she's willing to wait for you I say give it a chance."

"What if I don't come back?" Jamie asked.

Jim said "It seems like Nicole's willing to live with that possibility."

Jamie asked "What if she finds someone else?"

Jim said "Then she finds someone else. That can just as easily happen if you're still around. You know, I was willing to give up a career for Quinn. Apparently, Nicole's willing to give up opportunities for you. If she's willing to do that why not stay together. Besides, assuming you survive you'll be back in a year anyway and Nicole seems willing to put her romantic life on hold on the chance that happens."

Both guys now look thoughtful.

* * *

**Nicole and Jamie's apartment, later...**

After finishing his beer Jamie hurried back home. Now he was telling Nicole about his decision.

"...so I decided that if you're willing to wait for me I should give it a chance. Besides, Nicole, I love you."

Smiling, Nicole said "Oh, Jamie!"

She immediately threw her arms around him.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," said Jamie, "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

Nicole didn't hesitate.

"Yes." After a brief pause, she added "Jamie, I've done some thinking. If this didn't happen then where would you see us in a few years?"

"Still together," said Jamie, "Nicole, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't wanna lose you. I only suggested breaking up because I wanted to spare you the pain of burying me."

"While that doesn't really answer my question," said Nicole, "I can say without a doubt that I want us to be together no matter what. The possibility of grief is a risk I'm willing to take. Jamie, I want us to stay together, maybe even start a family someday, and I want us to be together through both good times and bad. If that means one of us buries the other then so be it. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Jamie looked thoughtful for a second. "Nicole," he said, "I want that too."

Nicole suddenly seemed to get an idea.

"Jamie," she said, "I just thought of something, and I want an honest answer."

Curious, Jamie said "Okay".

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Quinn and Jim's apartment...**

Quinn was on the couch watching TV when Jim came in.

"Quinn, I'm sorry" were the first words out of Jim's mouth.

Quinn said "Jim, it's okay. I...Well, I guess I just don't understand why you're suddenly so distant."

Jim sat down next to her.

"You were right, I am upset, but at myself, not you. Quinn, I'm sorry I've been a jerk these last couple of days. I should've told you how I was feeling from the start."

Quinn was understanding.

"I get it, Jim. I still don't know what your father said to you the other night but I know whatever it was you found it very upsetting. You took back to back blows to your self esteem. I was just hurt that you wouldn't talk to me."

"I was too ashamed," Jim admitted, "When Dad called he told me that since I was unemployed you'd stop seeing me as a man and instead see me as a burden. I was so rattled by that that I couldn't sleep. I accidentally saw a check you got from a client. When I saw the amount I felt totally emasculated and slept on the couch out of shame."

Quinn asked "Why would that make you feel ashamed?"

Jim admitted "Because as a man it's my duty to be a provider. I felt like I'd failed."

Quinn put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Jim, we're a team. That wasn't my money, it was our money. We share equally in everything. I want a partner, not a provider."

"So, you don't see me as less of a man because I lost my job?" asked Jim.

"No," said Quinn, "You're just as much a man in my eyes now as you always were. I sensed that you were feeling that way, which is why I was so pushy in getting you to open up."

Jim said "I'm not a warrior, an athelete or even rich."

"You don't have to be," said Quinn, "I want you: a man who's simultaneously my lover, best friend and closest confidant, a man that I want to share a life with. A man who's children I'd like to have someday. I don't want you to be anything but yourself because that's what I fell in love with."

Jim feels better.

"I'm sorry I was shutting you out" he said. "I shouldn't have let Dad get to me like that."

"Why do you even listen to him?" asked Quinn.

Jim said "He's my father. I cut him out of my life I have to cut out my whole family."

"I get that," said Quinn, "I guess you have to put up with him since he and your mother are a packaged deal. I also understand why you'd want to keep a good relationship with her. She's the only person who didn't treat you like shit while you were growing up." Quinn paused a moment before continuing. "If you need a self esteem boost I'll gladly give you one because you'd do the same for me. That's what couples do."

They hug. When the hug ends...

"Now that we've made up," Quinn said in a suddenly slutry voice, "I'd like to do a little something extra to cheer you up. Wait here."

Quinn went into the bedroom.

**A few minutes later...**

Quinn emerged from the bedroom wearing high-heeled sandals, a lacy black bra, skimpy thong panties and has a seductive grin on her face. Jim couldn't help staring

In a sexy tone, Quinn said "I'm going to give you a lapdance with a VERY happy ending."

 **Music:** "Hot in Here" by Nelly  
 _It's gettin' hot in here_  
 _So take off all your clothes_

Jim visibly perks up as Quinn begins to dance suggestively toward him. She climbs on top of Jim and sways. The lap dance got really naughty, really fast. By the time it was all over they were basking in the afterglow of some very hot sex.

* * *

**Pizza King, a few days later...**

Quinn and Nicole were having lunch. Quinn was telling her about how she and Jim made up.

"...so this morning Jim made another car video. A tutorial on how to change your own oil. Now that he's unemployed he has more time to get his YouTube channel off of the ground."

"So his crisis of confidence is over I take it" said Nicole.

Quinn said "All I had to do was reassure him. We're back on track."

"Glad to hear it, Quinn."

Quinn said "What can I say, Jim and I need to lean on each other now more than ever. That's what couples do. Speaking of which, how are you and Jamie holding up?"

Nicole said "We had a long talk about that. Jamie and I decided that we love each other enough to try and make it work." She suddenly grinned. "So, any talk of wedding bells?"

Quinn said "Not yet. Why?"

Suddenly nervous, Nicole said "Just curious."

Quinn said "So, since Jamie has to report for duty next month, are you two doing anything special?"

Nicole said "Chuck gave me the next two months off. I wanna squeeze in as much time with Jamie as I can before he leaves."

"How'd you get him to agree to that?" asked Quinn.

Smirking, Nicole said "Stacy threatened to withhold sex from him if he didn't give me the time off."

They both laughed.

Referencing his Upchuck days, Quinn giggled "Some things never change."

**End Episode.**

* * *

**Next Time**  
Sandi has a new boyfriend, but Quinn thinks something about him is a little...off.


	3. Locked In The Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandi has a new boyfriend who seems perfect for her. That is, until Quinn notices something about him that's...queer.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Locked In The Closet"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**A Starbucks in Lawndale, day...**

We see Sandi and Quinn catching up over coffee. Sandi seems unusually happy as she talked about her current life situation.

"...so even though I have an AA I can't find a job. It sucks that I have to keep stripping."

Quinn said "At least you're trying to do something about it. This recession can't last forever." At this point Quinn noticed Sandi's smile. "Why are you smiling, especially given that you were just bitching about being stuck stripping at Cafe Risque?"

"Because I have a new boyfriend" Sandi beamed.

Quinn was visibly happy for her.

"Sandi, that's great. What's he like?"

Sandi said "You'd like him, Quinn. He's incredibly handsome and a well groomed gentleman. He's nice, smart and has flawless fashion sense. In fact, he's so into fashion that I think he just might be "the one", though I admit it's too soon to make that call."

It's obvious to Quinn that Sandi is totally enamored with this guy.

"I'm happy for you, Sandi. He sounds like a real catch. What's his name?"

"Adam, Adam Simmons."

Quinn suddenly got an idea.

"I'd like to meet him. How about this weekend you double with me and Jim?"

Sandi smiled.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

**A parking lot in front of a cowboy themed restaurant called "Cowtown Steakhouse", evening...**

Quinn and Jim were walking toward the restaurant.

"Thanks for doing this, Jim."

Jim said "Not a problem, Quinn. After all, any friend of yours is a friend of mine."

As the couple approached the curb thay found Sandi and Adam already waiting for them. Adam was tall and muscular with gelled black hair, an Ed Hardy T-shirt and skinny jeans.

Impressed, Quinn said "Sandi wasn't exaggerating, he is cute!"

The two couples approached and greeted each other.

Sandi said "Adam, these are the friends I was telling you about. Quinn Morgendorffer and her boyfriend, Jim Carbone. This handsome guy is my borfriend, Adam Simmons."

Quinn and Adam shook hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Adam." It was at this point that Quinn noticed something. _He has a weak handshake for such a buff guy._

Adam said "The pleasure is all mine, Quinn." He then looked at her feet. "Where did you get those shoes?"

"Cashman's," said Quinn, "They're Gucci."

Adam politely said "They look great on you."

Quinn smiled.

"Thanks."

Beaming proudly, Sandi said "I told you he has impeccable fashion sense."

Next, Adam and Jim shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Adam."

"Likewise, Jim."

* * *

 **Inside the restaurant, a short time later...**  
 **Music:** "Cowboy Way" by Hellyeah

  
_Cowboy, hillbilly, whatever you say_   
_We love them and leave them_   
_It's just a cowboy's way_   
_Outlaw, redneck, whatever you claim_   
_What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine_   
_It's just a cowboy's way_

The restaurant has an old west theme. The bar is styled like a late-19th century saloon and the walls have murals depicting cattle drives on the open plains, fights between Native Americans and US Cavalry, and gunfights in the streets of frontier towns. Quinn, Jim, Sandi and Adam were seated at a booth under a mural featuring the famous gunfight at the OK Corral in Tombstone, AZ. A waitress in a Stetson hat and Lucchese boots was taking their orders.

Jim said "I'll have the Rustler Rib-eye, medium rare."

"Excellent choice." After jotting down Jim's order the waitress turned to Adam. "And you?"

"Chicken salad will be just fine."

"A fine choice."

She left. At this point Quinn noticed something else about Adam. She looked at the drinks, noting that while Jim's beverage is a beer Adam is drinking a Cosmopolitan.

_A guy drinking a Cosmo!?_

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening...**  
 **Music:** "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry

  
_I kissed a girl, and I liked it_   
_I hope my boyfriend don't mind it_

Quinn and Jim were talking about Sandi and Adam.

"Adam seems pretty cool," said Jim, "He and Sandi seem almost taylor made for each other."

Quinn was more than a little unsure of that.

"Jim, did you notice anything about Adam that was...well...off?"

"What do you mean?"

Quinn said "I don't know. I just have this weird feeling about him. Like what we saw wasn't the real him."

Jim looked thoughtful. "Well, I was a little surprised that his beverage was a Cosmopolitan and he ordered a chicken salad, but he's a model so I just figure being a health nut is part of the job. "

Quinn said "He talks about fashion with an unusual amount of interest for a guy. It just seems weird to me."

Jim saw nothing wrong with this.

"Well, he's a model. Maybe he just really likes his job."

Quinn looked unconvinced, which Jim noticed.

"You're convinced something's up with him?"

Nodding, Quinn said "Yes, I just have this gut feeling that he isn't what he seems. What if he's lying to Sandi? She's been through so much already and I don't wanna see her get hurt."

Jim had an idea.

"I'll try inviting him for a guys day out. If something is up with him he might let it slip in all male company."

"That could work" said Quinn. After this, she kissed Jim. "Thanks, Jim."

* * *

**M & T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, Sunday Afternoon...**

The Baltimore Ravens were on the line of scrimmage against the Pittsburgh Steelers. They snap but the quarterback is almost immediatley sacked.

In the bleachers Jim and Adam were watching the game. Adam was confused while Jim was pissed.

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING SHITTING ME!" Jim screamed toward the field.

Shocked and confused, Adam asked "Because the quarterback was knocked to the ground!?"

Calming down, Jim explained "It's called a sack. It means the Ravens just lost ten yards and it's fourth down. They either have to go for it or punt."

"I see."

Jim asked "So, you've really never been to a football game?"

Adam looked a little sheepish as he admitted "No, for some reason sports were just never something I was interested in."

Jim was understanding.

"It's cool, dude. I'm more than happy to educate you."

"How did you score tickets to a Ravens game anyway?" Adam asked.

Jim explained "My former boss, John Rowe, of Rowe Automotive. His daughter, Stacy, and Quinn go way back. Stacy basically guilt tripped him into giving me these tickets to make up for laying me off. I figured since our girlfriends are really tight it'd be good if we got to know each other better, and there are few things better for male bonding than a football game." Changing the subject, Jim said "You know, you and Sandi seem really into each other."

Not sounding very convincing, Adam said "Sandi's great."

Jim noticed the lack of sincerity in Adams voice, but before he could say anything...

"TOUCHDOWN, PITTSBURGH!"

Jim turned his attention back to the game.

"WHAT THE HELL!?!"

Adam suddenly had an idea.

"Hey, Jim, after the game you wanna do something else?"

Jim said "We could hang out at the Liquid Dinner for a bit before heading home. I'll need it after this game."

 _This is promising_ Adam thought as he leered at Jim. Jim didn't notice that Adam was now openly checking him out.

* * *

 **The Liquid Dinner, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Jim and Adam were at the bar chatting over drinks. Jim was having a beer while Adam was having a Mai Thai. Jim had yet to pick up on the increasingly obvious.

"So, how'd you get into modeling?"

Adam said "The fashion industry just always had a certain appeal to me. You'd be surprised how much work is actually involved. I also like looking my best and as soon as I got into modeling I felt like I belonged for the first time in my life."

Failing to read between the lines, Jim said "I can relate. I didn't really become comfortable in my own skin until college."

Adam grins as he takes a sip of his drink.

"So, you were recently laid off?"

"Yeah," said Jim, "It was a huge blow to my ego but Quinn snapped me out of it pretty quick. "

"No worries," said Adam in an openly flirty tone, "It's hard to find work anywhere right now."

Unaware that Adam's now openly flirting with him, Jim said "Tell me about it. That's why I recently started a YouTube channel about cars. I'm still looking for a job, though. The channel is so new that it hasn't had a chance to really catch on yet."

In an obviously suggestive tone, Adam said "You look really handsome, Jim. Have you ever considered modeling?"

That was when Jim started to suspect something. He was weirded out for a second.

Is it my imagination or is Adam...flirting!? Jim was weirded out for a second but immediately shrugged it off. Nah, he has a girlfriend. Out loud, Jim answered Adam's question. "Not really my thing. You know some of the stereotypes about male models. I actually respect you for having the guts to do it."

Adam blushed slightly, but Jim didn't notice.

"Thanks, Jim. I like you."

Failing to pick up on some really strong signals, Jim said "I'm glad. Since our girlfriends are friends it helps if we're friends too."

"That's not what I meant."

Adam suddenly leaned in and tried to kiss Jim. Freaked, Jim took a VERY big step back.

"What's the matter?" Adam asked in a sensual, teasing tone, "I'm not your type?"

Jim was too freaked to do anything but stare in wide eyed, open mouthed shock.

* * *

**Act II**   
**The Liquid Dinner, evening...**

Jim was seriously freaked out by the fact that Sandi's boyfriend, Adam, just tried to kiss him.

"Um, Adam, I'm straight."

Adam spoke in a disturbingly (to Jim, at least) sensual tone.

"Yet here you are on a date with a gay man."

Jim said "I didn't know you were gay. This isn't a date, it's just two guys hanging out. Just because I hang out with someone one on one doesn't mean I wanna play tonsil hockey with them. What made you think I was into guys anyway?"

As it began to dawn on Adam that he may have just made a huge mistake he said "Well, you and Quinn seemed so genuine that when you asked to take me to a football game I assumed that you were bi and picked up on my vibes."

Jim immediately gave him a reality check. "Adam, I was just looking to hang out. Sandi seemed into you so I figured we should get to know each other a little. But I'm only interested in girls."

Embarrassed at his misinterpretation of things Adam became very apologetic.

"Sorry, my mistake."

Still uncomfortable, Jim asked "Does Sandi know?"

Adam hung his head in shame.

"She doesn't. "

Jim proceeded to put the pieces together. "So let me get this straight, no pun intended. Sandi thinks you two are in an actual relationship but in reality you're a gay man using her as a beard."

Adam nods, visibly ashamed.

"Please don't tell her."

Jim now goes from freaked out to pissed off.

"How do I not? She's a friend of both Quinn and I and deserves to know that she's being played."

Adam looked at Jim with pleading eyes.

"Please, Jim. Promise me you won't tell her."

Jim looked thoughtful for a second.

"Will you tell her?"

Adam didn't answer.

"Then I have to," said Jim, "This is really unfair to her."

Adam became desperate.

"Jim, please! I'll tell her when I'm ready. Just give me some time. Promise?"

The panic in Adam's voice caused Jim to now feel a little sorry for him.

"Fine, I won't tell her."

Adam was visibly relieved.

"Oh, Thank you! "

He almost hugs Jim but thinks better of it. Jim, meanwhile, had the following thought.

_But I'm definitely telling Quinn._

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening...**  
 **Music:** "Girl Talk" by Ultraviolet Sound

_Du, dudu du du du duuu_   
_Du, dudu du du du duuu_   
_Du, dudu du du du duuu_   
_Girl Talk_

Jim has just told Quinn what happened. Her reaction is wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock.

"WHAT!?!"

Jim said "Adam's gay, he tried to come on to me, he's using Sandi as a beard and she doesn't even know about it."

Quinn's expression changes from shock to anger. "I knew it!" she barked. "I knew something was off about him! I mean drinking a Cosmo, the effeminate handshake, the obsession with fashion and the modeling career. All the classic signals. I just didn't put it all together because I didn't wanna seem ignorant."

Jim said "What's worse is that he made me promise not to tell Sandi."

Quinn's reaction was righteous anger.

"That weasel! He's using her to make people think he's straight!"

"What are you gonna do?" asked Jim, "I mean, think about it, Sandi could be devastated if we tell her. She might not even believe us."

Quinn said "I have to tell Sandi. She has a right to know that she's being used."

Jim agreed, but also had some doubts. "I don't know," he said, "On the one hand, this isn't right. On the other hand is how Sandi might react to a bombshell like this. Is she even gonna believe you?"

Quinn said "While I unsderstand that, Jim, I can't keep something like this a secret. I know she'll be devastated but I can help her through it. The fact is that her boyfriend is lying to her and pretending to be something he's not and it isn't right."

Jim said nothing but clearly understood Quinn's point.

* * *

**Sandi's apartment, later that evening...**

Sandi was wearing a bathrobe and had wet hair because she has just taken a shower. There's a knock on the door. Sandi looks out the peephole. She opens the door. It's Quinn.

"Quinn, this is a surprise!"

Quinn looked very solemn.

"Sandi, I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Quinn entered and Sandi closed the door behind her.

"What's going on, Quinn?"

Quinn said "I need to tell you something really important. You probably wanna sit down for this."

Puzzled, Sandi sat on the couch as Quinn took a seat right beside her. The redhead proceeded to make a preamble. "You know, Sandi, if you knew Jim was lying to me about something huge I'd want you to tell me. Even if the news would devastate me. Friends look out for each other, after all."

Sandi immediately grew concerned.

"Quinn, what are you talking about? Did Jim do something?"

Quinn said "Actually, this is about Adam."

Beaming, Sandi said "Isn't he great? I know we've only been together a short time but I've never clicked so well with any guy."

Quinn now looked very hesitant, which Sandi noticed. Eyeing her friend suspiciously, Sandi asked "What about him, Kuh-winn?"

The harsh tone makes it clear that Quinn had best not beat around the bush. She hesitates despite this, which causes Sandi to lose her patience.

"Spill it, Kuh-win!"

Quinn blurted out "He's gay! Adam's gay and he's using you as a beard. He tried to come on to Jim today. Sandi, I'm sorry, but he's not who you think he is."

Sandi was shocked.

"No...It...It's not possible. You're lying!"

"Sandi, it's the truth."

Sandi refused to believe it. In fact, she became so upset that she started accusing Quinn of trying to sabotage the relationship.

"You just can't stand to see me happy, can you? You need me to be vulnerable just so you can come to the rescue."

"Sandi, please. I'm not trying to hurt you."

Quinn reached out but Sandi slapped her hand away. Angry, the brunette said "I think you'd better leave."

Quinn looks very hurt by this.

"But Sandi..."

Sandi shushed her.

"Silence!"

Next, Sandi got up and opened the door. She points outside and barks a firm "Leave, now!"

Quinn sighs as she gets up and walks out the door. Sandi slams it shut behind her. Once Quinn was gone Sandi began to calm down. All too soon her angry scowl turns into a rattled frown.

_What if she's telling the truth?_

* * *

**A one story white painted house in a nice neighborhood, the next day...**

With an angry scowl on her face Sandi walked up to the front door and rang the bell. Adam answers the door.

"Oh! Hi, Sandi."

Continuing to scowl Sandi folded her arms and spoke in a haughty tone.

"Adam, we need to talk."

**The living room, a few minutes later...**

Sandi and Adam were sitting on the couch. She cut right to the chase.

"Adam, is this a sham relationship?"

Adam looked nervous but not shocked. He tried to play dumb.

"Sandi, of course not. What makes you think it is?"

Her tone and body language reminsicent of a cobra with it's hood raised, Sandi said "Last night Quinn told me that tried to come on to her boyfriend yesterday. She said that you're gay and using me as a beard. Is it true?"

Adam said nothing, which only made Sandi even more angry.

"IS IT!?!"

Knowing the jig is up, Adam sighed and lowered his head. Sheepish, he admitted "It's true. Sandi, I'm sorry."

"YOU'RE SORRY!" barked an enraged Sandi. "You led me on just to cover up the fact that you're gay and all you can say is that you're sorry. I knew you were too good to be true."

Adam said "You don't understand, Sandi. I come from a very conservative family. They'll disown me if they find out. You don't know what it's like to live a lie because your loved ones will turn on you if they know the truth."

Sandi's expression immediately changed from anger to understanding as this reminds her of why she's completely on the outs with her own family. "Actually" she said, "I know exactly what that's like. You see, I'm bisexual. I spent my teens in total denial of that fact because I was afraid of being an outcast. I was convinced that I was straight and any sexual attraction I had to girls I would just dismiss as idle curiosity."

Now, Adam looks very interested.

"When did you accept that you're bi?"

"My first semester of college." Sandi continued to explain "I fell in love with a girl who was also bi. I tried to keep it a secret at first. When we came out to my family my mother disowned me and threw us out. I haven't seen my parents or my brothers in years. I had to live in a homeless shelter until I'd saved enough to get my own place. I also had to drop out of college because I had no money. That's why I became a stripper, it was the only way I could make a living wage."

Sympathetic, Adam put a hand on Sandi's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. But you do see where I'm coming from, don't you?"

Any hurt or anger Sandi felt was now buried under a pile of sympathy.

"Yes, I know because I've been there. I...I'll keep it a secret."

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

Quinn and Jim were watching TV while Quinn scratches Storm behind the ears.

"She took him as her lawfully wedded husband...along with his gay lover! I Now Pronounce You Man, Wife and Butt-Buddy, Next on Sick, Sad World!"

There's a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" said Quinn.

She gets up and answers the door. It's Sandi.

"Quinn, can I come in?"

"Of course."

Sandi came in and Quinn closed the door behind her. Storm came up to Sandi and begs for some attention. Sandi responded by scratching Storm behind the ears, which he loved so much that he playfully wagged his tail.

"Yes, Storm. You're such a cute doggy."

Satisfied, Storm retured to Quinn and Jim. Sandi sat down next to them.

"Quinn" said Sandi, "I owe you an apology. It turns out you were right about Adam."

Quinn replied "Sandi, you don't have to apologize. You were hurt and angry, I understand."

"She only told you for your own good" added Jim.

"I know." Sandi hung her head and let out a frustrated sigh. "I can't believe this. Just my luck, I find a guy that I think is proof of love at first sight and it turns out he was a lie. A gay man using me as a beard. I confronted him and he admitted the truth."

"So" asked Quinn, "you dumped him?"

Sandi looks nervous.

"No, I didn't," said Sandi. She went on to explain "I understand where he's coming from, feeling like he has to live a lie because he'll be alone otherwise. Fearing that he'll be hated if he lives the truth. That's why I decided to stay with him. Also, I'm 27. I'm starting to feel my biological clock tick away. If I want a family of my own I need to take whatever I can get."

Quinn and Jim were stunned speechless.

* * *

**Act III**   
**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were having a discussion with Sandi. The topic is Sandi's boyfriend, Adam, actually being a gay man who's using her as a beard. Both Quinn and Jim were shocked by Sandi's decision to stay with Adam despite this.

"What do you mean you're gonna stay with Adam?!" exclaimed Quinn. "You're definitely not his type because his type is guys."

"Maybe I can change him," said Sandi, "After all, Ashley, that girl I dated in college, changed me. She made me bi."

Quinn was struggling to suspend her disbelief.

"She didn't make you bisexual, you always were. All Ashley did was get you to accept it."

Jim said "She's right, Sandi. Despite what you see in porn it's impossible to change someones sexual orientation."

Sandi refused to believe that.

"I know I can't get him to stop being into guys, nor would I even try, but maybe I can get him into girls. I just have to seduce him."

Jim shook his head dismissively. "When he came on to me he made it pretty clear that he's gay. I admit you do have a lot of sex appeal but you can't make a gay man interested, no woman can. If he were bi you'd have a shot, but Adam's gay. No woman has a chance with him."

Sandi refused to accept that. Clearly, she was in total denial. "I don't know about that. I think he may actually be bi. I've seen him stare at me with a look that was clearly lust."

Quinn couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Sandi he was probably just acting. If he's bi then why did he tell Jim he was gay?"

Sandi, unwilling to acknowledge the hard truth, got defensive. "Quinn, even though I know this about him I still have feelings for him. I have to try. I can get him to see me the way I see him." Her tone grew increasingly angry as she continued to speak. "I should be able to count on you for support and I obviously can't do that. If you don't understand then I see no need to stick around."

She got up and headed to the door. She opens it before turning to Quinn and Jim. Sandi spoke in a harsh tone.

"Have a nice life!"

With that Sandi left, slamming the door behind her.

Turning to Quinn, Jim said "You know this is gonna completely blow up in her face, don't you?"

Quinn said nothing, but the worried expression on her face made her thoughts clear as clean glass.

* * *

**Morgendorffer House, the next day...**

Quinn and Daria were in the latter's room sitting on the bed. Quinn was telling Daria what's going on.

"...so now Sandi's convinced that he's actually bi and she wants to seduce him in order to prove it."

Daria knew exactly what was going on in Sandi's head and proceeded to say so.

"She's in denial."

Quinn, in a deadpan tone that'd rival her sister's, said "Way to state the obvious."

Daria raises an eyebrow.

"What?" said Quinn, "You're not the only Morgendorffer who likes to use sarcasm."

Daria half smiled. "Obi Wan has taught you well, young Skywalker." Her face turned expressionless again. "Seriously, though, unless he's bisexual Sandi has no chance of getting him into bed."

Quinn said "That's why I'm worried. She'll be completely crushed when she realizes she can't make him interested. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to get hurt but I can't stop her from doing something that'll only cause her more pain."

Daria was sympathetic.

"There's nothing you can do, Quinn. Sandi's a grown woman who's free to make her own decisions."

Quinn found no comfort in this advice whatsoever. "But what if she gets hurt? I can't help worrying about her. She's had it really rough since high school."

Daria said "Which is why I think she's doing this. She's so starved for love that she'll try to get it any way that she can."

"If I can't do anything to protect her what can I do?" asked Quinn.

"Be there for her," said Daria, "This way you can help her deal. And remind her that even if she isn't loved romantically she's still loved as a friend. Since her actual family wants nothing to do with her you and Jim should be her family."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Sandi's apartment building, evening...**

Adam and Sandi were right outside the door to her apartment, having just been out on a date. Sandi's wearing a black tube top that leaves very little to the imagination and is so low cut that it's a minor miracle her boobs don't pop out.

"I had fun tonight, Adam."

"So did I, Sandi."

Sandi smiled suggestively at him.

"Would you like to come in? We could hang out for a little while longer."

Adam was hesitant. Looking at Sandi's aggressively sexy outfit he thought _If I didn't know any better I'd think she's trying to seduce me._ Adam immediately shook his head. _No, she knows I'm gay._ Out loud, he said "Sure, why not."

 **Inside the apartment, a short time later...**  
 **Music:** "Gimmie More" by Britney Spears

Adam and Sandi were sitting on the couch.

"Could you excuse me while I change into something more comfortable?" Sandi asked in a suggestive tone.

Sensing no alterior motives, Adam said "No problem."

Sandi got up and went to the bedroom. As she did she walked in a manner that would turn any straight guy on. Before closing the door she gave Adam an obvious 'come fuck me' look.

Confused, Adam thought _She knows I'm gay. Why is she acting like she's trying to turn me on? Doesn't she understand that I'm only sexually aroused by other men?_

A moment later Sandi emerged from her bedroom wearing nothing but a lacy black bra and thong panties, neither of which cover much of anything. She did a catwalk toward Adam, looking like she could rip his clothes off at any moment. This made him very uncomfortable. Sandi sat next to him, her body language so inviting that a straight man would've been helpless to resist.

"Sandi, what are you doing?" asked Adam.

"I'm being sexy for my man" she purred in an erotic voice.

Now aware that she's trying to seduce him, Adam said "Sandi, I'm only sexually attracted to other men."

Sandi winked at Adam and sensuously licked her lips. Then, she spoke in a breathy tone that would drive any straight man wild with desire. "I know you're into men but how do you know you aren't into women? Maybe you just haven't found the right one."

This made Adam even more uncomfortable. Seeing this, Sandi said "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. In fact, I want to make you feel very.." she licked his cheek, "...good." With that, Sandi took his left hand in both of hers. She then proceeded to place it on her knee. Adam was too freaked out to react as Sandi moved his hand up her inner thigh until his fingers were practically touching the crotch of her panties. "You like how I feel?" she asked. When Adam's only response was to look at her with a shocked expression Sandi his hand off of her inner thigh and placed it on her right breast. "How about now?"

Finding his voice, Adam said "Sandi, what's gotten into you? You know I'm not into girls."

Sandi licked her lips in an erotic fashion.

"I think you are and just don't know it yet. "

She immediately climbed on his lap and kissed him passionately. Sandi brushed her tongue on his lips. She then broke the kiss and spoke in a breathy whisper.

"I'm horny. "

Sandi then took Adam's right hand and placed it on her left ass cheek.

Lust oozing from her voice, Sandi said "I want you to stay with me tonight. I want you..." she licked his lips in a slow, erotic fashion "...inside me."

Adam was seriously freaked out.

"Sandi, please. I'm not turned on by women."

Sandi slowly removed her bra and dropped it on the floor. She proceeded to make a show of cupping her bare breasts.

"How about now?"

When Adam didn't answer Sandi took both of his hands and placed them on her bare breasts.

"Feel how hard my nipples are for you," said Sandi, "Take me, Adam. I want you to..." She licked his lips. "...fuck me..." She kissed his cheek. "...all..." She sucked his ear lobe. "...night..." She licked his lips again. "...long...sexy." She said that last word in such an urgently erotic tone that any straight man would've lost control.

Decideing enough was enough, Adam lifted Sandi off of him and forcefully sat her down next to him. Then he stands up.

"Look, Sandi, I'm not interested. I'll prove it."

He grabbed her hand and placed it on his crotch.

"Does it feel like I'm aroused to you?"

What Sandi felt caused her to become extremely disappointed.

"Nothing," she said with a frown, "You aren't even semi rigid."

Adam said "Because I'm gay. I have never had even the slightest interest in women. You have to accept that."

It was at this point that Adam decided this whole relationship was a bad idea. "Look, Sandi, maybe we should just break this whole thing off. You need to get over me and find someone who is interested. I'm sorry I led you on and I'm sorry you want me but it isn't going to happen."

Without so much as a goodbye he walked out of the door. Sandi just sat there in disappointment.

_I practically begged him to stick it in me and he's STILL not interested!_

Sandi sat there with a morose frown on her face.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening....**

Quinn and Jim were making out on the couch. They both have their shirts off and Jim was about to unhook he bra when there's a knock on the door. They end their embrace.

"I can't believe this," Jim groaned, "Just when it was about to get good."

Quinn put her shirt back on.

"I'll try and get them to leave as fast as I can, honey."

As Jim puts his shirt back on Quinn answers the door. It's Sandi, and she looks incredibly sad.

"Quinn, I need to talk to you."

"Come in, Sandi."

Jim grew a little annoyed as it becomes clear he isn't going to get any tonight. Sandi and Quinn made their way to the couch. Jim slid off to the side as Quinn sat on the other side and Sandi sat between the.

"You were right, Quinn," Sandi said with a sigh, "Adam and I broke up."

"Sandi, I'm sorry" said Quinn, "but I tried to warn you."

Sandi said "I know, and I should've listened. I just wanted him so badly that I couldn't accept the truth. I invited him into my apartment and tried to get him to sleep with me. It didn't work. I threw myself at him, almost naked, and he didn't become even the slightest bit aroused."

"Makes sense," said Jim, "He's gay, it's impossible for him to be turned on by a woman."

Sandi frowned. "Every time" she said, trying to hold back tears. "Every damn time I try to find love I just wind up alone. First a girlfriend who cheated on me, then my relationship with Joey fizzles out and now this."

Quinn said "Sandi, you just have to keep trying."

"Easy for you to say, Quinn," said Sandi, "You're in a relationship that's still going strong after more than three years. It's only a matter of time before you two wind up exchanging I dos. I just keep getting hurt. What's wrong with me?"

Quinn put a hand on Sandi's shoulder to reassure her. "Nothing's wrong with you, Sandi. What happened to you can happen to anyone. When I broke up with my college sweetheart it hurt like hell, even though it was my decision to end things. It happens."

Sandi said "You found Jim, so it worked out for you. Stacy is married to Chuck Ruttheimer and having his baby, Jane's living with an archaeologist boyfriend and even Nicole found love. She and Jamie are so into each other that they're able to stay together despite his being called back into the Army. The only one who hasn't found that special someone is me. I'm going to wind up an old maid."

Quinn said "Sandi, you're only 27. You still have plenty of time. Even if you never find "the one" you can still be happy. My sister doesn't have a boyfriend and she's perfectly okay with that."

Sandi said "Quinn, I want to have a family someday. What if by the time I find the one it's too late?"

Quinn said "You have other options. You could adopt. Even if you can't or don't wanna do that you can still be a mother figure. I mean, Stacy and Chuck's baby would probably benefit from having you as the cool aunt that he or she always looks forward to hanging out with."

Sandi felt a little better, but the possibility of never having children was only part of the problem for her. "Everyone I know is in a serious, steady relationship. I'm starting to feel left out."

"Oh, Sandi!" said Quinn, "You aren't being left out. We're all here for you. If you're worried about being alone, don't be. You'll always have me and Stacy and everyone else. We don't mind including you in things. Besides, I know plenty of attractive single guys and I can find some single girls who are into girls. Just let me know and I can fix you up with someone."

Sandi was moved to tears by the offer. She immediately hugged Quinn.

"Quinn, thank you so much. You're the sister I never had. I love you."

"I love you too, Sandi."

Even Jim was a little touched by the Hallmark moment.

"Just remember, Sandi, you have friends who'll always help you out."

Sandi released Quinn, turned around and hugged Jim.

"We aren't friends, Jim. You and Quinn are my family."

Quinn joined the group hug, visibly moved.

**End Episode**


	4. The Cominc Of The Cynic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to 1981 when Jake and Helen, like America, were growing more conservative and a little bundle of cynicism was on the way.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"The Coming Of The Cynic"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Morgendorffer House, November 2, 2008...**

Outside the house are more cars than just Jake's Lincoln and Helen's Prius. In front of the house are also Quinn's red Impala, a silver Camaro SS that belongs to Stacy, and other cars that we don't recognize.

In the living room there is a banner that reads "Happy Birthday Daria". In addition to Daria, Jake and Helen there's also Quinn and Jim, Stacy and Chuck, Nicole, Jane, Trent, Tiffany, Sandi, Kevin and Brittany. They are all giving Daria presents.

"Why Daria" said Jane with a smirk, "have you been getting popular behind my back?"

Daria frowned.

"No, the party was Quinn's idea. I didn't expect this many people."

Quinn explained "We ran out of your friends, Daria, so Jim and I included some of ours. Think of it as compensation for all the times I ruined your birthday as a kid."

Tiffany handed Daria a present.

"Heeere...youuu...goooo....haaappy...birth...daaay."

Daria unwrapped the present and was dismayed to find that it's a makeup kit. Sarcastic, Daria said "A makeup starter kit, just what I've always wanted."

Tiffany smiled as the sarcasm flew completely over her head.

"Yooouuu're...welcooomeee."

Smiling, Jake said "Isn't this wonderful, kiddo? To think, it's already your..." he looks thoughtful, "...How old are you?"

In her classic deadpan, Daria said "I'm over ten-thousand years old."

Jake, as usual, didn't get the joke.

"Wow!"

Helen rolled her eyes. "Jake, she was joking." At this point, something occured to her. " You mean to tell me you don't know that she's now 27!?"

Jake looked nervous but quickly regained his composure.

"27, wow! It seems like just yesterday I was changing your diapers, kiddo. Where does the time go? Remember, Helen?"

Helen now looked sentimental.

"Oh, was that ever a crazy time. "

Daria and Quinn exchanged worried looks. It looks like another potentially embarrassing trip down memory road.

Jake confirmed these fears when he said "That's a story we just have to tell. I remember..."

* * *

 **Highland, TX, 1981...**  
 **Music:** "Video Killed The Radio Star" by the Buggles

_Helen was starting to go somewhere at her law firm while I'd finally landed a new job after being unemployed for eight months._

Jake and Helen were in the kitchen of their small apartment having dinner and talking. Helen had a Farrah Fawcitt hairdo while Jake's hairstyle was a feathered mullet with sideburns ( After all, it is 1981). Jake looks happy while Helen talks about her day.

"...so after I won that case I asked Mr. Baylor what he thought and he said I might be considered for a partnership in the future if I keep it up."

"That's great, honey," said Jake, "I just hope that fascist Reagan doesn't turn back the clock."

Helen rolled her eyes.

"He promised to appoint a woman to the supreme court."

Jake said "Assuming he doesn't get us all nuked first. I still can't believe he won in a landslide."

Helen visibly wants to change the subject.

Helen, from 2008: _Our lives were rapidly changing. We had all but abandoned our hippie ideals by then but we were still quite liberal. It was also an unhappy time on my side of the family. My father had been in very poor health for some time by then._

Jake said "By the way, Helen, your mother called before you got home."

Helen was instantly worried.

"What's going on!? Is my father alright?"

Solemn, Jake said "He's not handling the chemo very well. It has him in a constant state of exhaustion."

Helen was distraught, which Jake noticed.

"Don't worry, Helen. I'm sure your father will pull through."

Helen still looked distraught so Jake decided to change the subject.

"Did I tell you about that interview I had?"

"How'd it go?" asked Helen.

Excited, Jake said "I got the job. I start on Monday."

Helen smiled.

"Jake, that's wonderful."

* * *

 **Later that evening...**  
 **Music:** "Kiss On My List" by Hall and Oates

Jake is sitting up in bed wearing his pajamas. Suddenly, Helen entered the room in a lacey red night gown that leaves VERY little to the imagination. She walked seductively towards the bed and climbed on top of her husband. They share a passionate kiss. When the kiss breaks a visibly turned on Jake spoke.

"Wow! Helen, you're absolutely sexy."

In a sultry tone, Helen said "Why thank you, you virile stud of a man."

"What's the occasion?" asked Jake, knowing that he's about to get laid.

Helen said "We've been talking about having children, right. I figure since you now have a new job tonight might be perfect for another try. You ready to..." she licks his face in a highly erotic manner, "...knock me up?"

In an excited, lecherous tone Jake said "Oh, yeah!"

They kiss passionately. Jake removes Helen's nightgown as she unbuttons his pajamas. They soon stare lovingly at one another's naked bodies.

 _Because your kiss..._  
 _Your kiss is on my list_  
 _Because your kiss..._  
 _Your kiss I can't resist_  
 _Because your kiss is on my list_  
 _Of the best things in life_.

They proceed to spend the rest of the night having incredibly hot, passionate sex.

**Lawndale, 2008...**

At Daria's 27th Birthday Jake was telling everyone the story.

"And that's how you were conceived, kiddo. It was some of the best sex I ever had."

Daria blushed with embarrassment.

Burying her face in her hands, Quinn said "Dah-ad, we didn't need to hear that part!"

Helen gave Jake a stern look.

"Was that really necessary, Jake?"

Jake grew embarrassed as he realized that may have been too much information.

"Sorry! Anyway, a few weeks after that night..."

* * *

**An office building in Highland, 1981...**

In a doctor's office Helen and Jake were seated in front of the desk of while a doctor was seated behind the desk. The doctor was a woman who looks and sounds exactly like Nancy Gribble from King of the Hill. She is Dr. Sanders, Helen's gynecologist.

_...your mother missed her period and had a bout of morning sickness so we went to see her gynecologist._

Dr. Sanders said "Mr. Morgendorffer, I've given your wife a thorough examination. No question about it, she's pregnant. Cogratulations, shug."

Helen and Jake were awestruck by the news.

"I...I'm pregnant!"

"I'm gonna be a father!"

Smiling, Dr. Sanders said "That's right, shugs."

 **The street, a short time later...**  
 **Music:** "Young Turks" by Rod Stewart

_Young hearts be free tonight_   
_Time is on your side_

Jake's car, a 1976 Datsun, was heading home. Inside Jake was driving while Helen was in the passenger seat.

Amazed, Jake said "Wow, I still can't believe I'm gonna be a Dad! I'm really looking forward to this."

"Me too, Jake," said Helen, "I can prove to the world that it IS possible to be both a career woman and a full time mother. One thing I can say for certain is that I'll never play favorites, like my mother did."

"And I'll never throw our child in a military academy, like my father. My child is NOT going to be a soldier."

Jake suddenly very angry. He shook his fist and looked at the steering weel instead of the road as he began to rant.

"YOU HEAR THAT, MAD DOG!? I WON'T BRUTALIZE MY KIDS YOU HEARTLESS, EVIL SON OF A..."

"JAKE, WATCH OUT!"

Jake looked up and noticed that he was driving into oncoming traffic.

"GAH!!!"

He gets the car back on the right side of the road just in time to avoid a head on collision. After this, Jake angrily shook his fist again.

"DAMN YOU, OLD MAN!!!"

Helen groaned and rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Jake and Helen's apartment, evening...**

Jake and Helen were watching TV.

_One evening, we were watching the news when we got some bad news of our own._

On the TV screen was an image of Ronald Reagan being covered by Secret Service agents while there is a sound of gunshots.

"This was the scene today as the President left the hotel. Gunshots were fired and a bullet struck the President in the left side of the chest. President Reagan was immediately taken to a hospital where he entered under his own steam. We'll bring word on the President Reagan's condition as it develops. The gunman, a mentally disturbed loner named John Hinckley, is in police custody."*

*( **A/N** : This was an actual historical event. Hinkley shot Reagan because he'd gotten it into his sick head that this would impress actress Jodie Foster. Reagan survived and fully recovered from a hollow point round right between his heart and left lung. Because of his miraculous survival and lighthearted additude throughout the whole ordeal this incident became a defining moment in Reagan's presidency.)

Jake and Helen found themselves horrified despite not sharing the President's views, marking another step in their transition from hippies to yuppies. Suddenly the phone rang. Helen gets it as it is right next to her.

"Hello?" Helen scowled upon realizing who it was. "Oh, Hi, Rita." Helen squeezed a pillow until... "WHAT!?!"...Helen went from looking angry to looking devastated. "When?" she asked. "I...I see." Helen was now struggling to hold back tears. "Of course I'll be there...I'm sorry, too...He was a good man." The sound of Rita crying could be heard coming from the phone. "Rita, you need to be strong right now. For Mom's sake...I will " Helen was choking back tears at this point. "...bye."

Helen hung up the phone and looked utterly devastated, which Jake noticed.

"Helen, what's wrong?"

Helen drew a sharp breath in an attempt to keep herself together.

"Rita just called. My father...he...he died. He died just thirty minutes ago."

Jake put a hand on Helen's shoulder.

"Helen, I'm so sorry. I know how much he meant to you."

Helen threw herself into Jake's arms and started crying uncontrollably.

* * *

 **Act II**  
 **Barksdale Manor, Virginia, 1981...**  
 **Music:** "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar

_Hit me with your best shot_   
_Why don't you hit me with your best shot_   
_Hit me with your best shot_   
_Fire away_

In the mansion's family room Jake and Helen were seated with Emma, Rita and a five year old Erin. Emma's hair still had it's original color, which was the same shade of red as Quinn's. Rita looks the same as in "Aunt Nauseum", only twenty years younger. Erin was in a pink dress with pig tails.

_We'd flown to Virginia for my father's funeral. My mother was not happy to see us._

Helen said "I'm so sorry for what happened, Mom."

Emma regarded Helen coldly.

"I'm shocked that you even came, Helen. I thought you'd wanted nothing to do with us."

Helen said "Mother, you know that's not true."

_My mother always disliked Jake and was using her grief as an excuse to be particularly nasty to him._

Emma said "At least Rita didn't marry the son of an uncouth psychopath. She knows how to marry well."

"And take him for everything in the divorce" Helen coldly replied.

Slightly embarrassed, Rita said "Helen, let's please not go there."

to Helen, Emma commanded "Leave your sister alone, young lady. She's having a hard enough time with the loss of your father and has no need to be reminded of her biggest disappointment."

Helen stared daggers at both of them. Jake became so uncomfortable that he immediately changed the subject.

"Did either of us mention that we're having a baby?"

Emma and Rita were immediately interested.

"That's wonderful" said Rita. She then turned her attention to Erin. "Did you hear that, sweetie? You'll have a little cousin to play with."

Erin smiled.

"Yippie!"

Emma smiled at Erin before staring coldly at Jake and Helen. In an accusing tone, she asked "Who's the father?"

Helen stared daggers at her mother for that dig.

Emma decided to metaphorically twist the knife. "I don't mean to be rude, but don't you hippies believe in sexual debauchery?"

Rita immediately looked uncomfortable.

"Mother, there are children present."

Emma's demeanor immediately softens. "My apologies, I shouldn't be talking of such things right now. It's just...just..." She brushed a stray tear off her cheek. "...I miss your father so much."

Emma began to cry. It was at this point that a 23 year old Amy Barksdale entered the family room. Amy hair was dyed black and styled in spikes which, combined with her leather jacket, black spandex pants and hig heeled boots made her look like Joan Jett. Emma stopped crying and regarded her youngest daughter very coldly.

"Amy! So, you actually showed. What on earth are you doing dressed like THAT?"

Amy was indignant.

"For your information, Mother, this is a look that's popular right now."

Emma hissed "You look like a lesbian prostitute, though it would not at all surprise me to find out that you are. You and Helen always were deviants."

Sarcastic, Amy said "Nice to see you too, Mom."

Rita could clearly sense the tension.

"Erin, could you go and play while we have a grown up talk?"

Erin asked "Who'll play with me?"

Rita turned to Jake.

"Jake, would you mind watching Erin for a bit?"

Jake was all too eager to get out of Dodge.

"No problem."

Erin ran up to him.

"Let's play, Uncle Jake!"

She eagerly takes Jake by the hand. As she drags him out of the room Helen, Amy, Emma and Rita all start trying to talk over each other.

* * *

 **One of the upstairs guest bedrooms, a short time later...**  
 **Music:** "Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton

  
_Playin' with the Queen of Hearts_   
_Knowin' it ain't really smart_   
_The Joker ain't the only fool_   
_Who'd do anything for you_

Jake and Erin were sitting across from each other at a kid sized table surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals playing "tea party". Jake looks very uncomfortable. (If it sounds weird just remember that at the time Erin was five, and five year olds have very active imaginations.)

_It was during that play session with Erin that I began to have doubts about my ability to be a good father._

"I don't get it," said Jake, "You said you wanted to have a tea party. Where's the tea?"

Erin took a toy teapot and pretended to pour it into Jake's cup. As she does this she talks to a Barbie doll.

"You'll have to excuse Uncle Jake, Barbie. It's his first tea party."

Jake was a little freaked out.

"Um, Why are you talking to the doll? Are you okay?"

Erin said "Uncle Jake, you have to use your imagination."

Jake was puzzled by the little girl's statement.

"Your mother lets you do that?"

Now Erin was puzzled.

"Yes. Why are you acting weird?"

Jake said "It's just that when I was your age my father let me do that." He started to get more and more angry as he spoke. "He told me it was "sissy stuff". Oh, Do I remember all of that! "Man Up, Jake", "Normal people don't do that, Jake", "You just embarrass me, Jake", "KEEP IT UP AND I'LL BEAT YOUR SISSY LITTLE ASS, JAKE". GOD DAMMIT, I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE A KID! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GODDAMN SOLDIER!" He looked at the floor and violently shook his fist. "GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL, MAD DOG! YOU HEAR ME, YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!?! ROT IN HELL!!!!!"

Little Erin was frightened by his rant.

"Uncle Jake, you're scaring me!"

She's on the verge of crying, which snaps Jake out of his rant.

"Sorry, Erin. I didn't mean to scare you. I just get worked up thinkin about my father." His anger flared up again as his childhood traumas came rushing back. "My uncaring, rigid, RUTHLESS, SADISTIC FATHER WHO ALWAYS TREATED ME LIKE A WORTHLESS LITTLE..."

His second rant was cut short as a visibly frightened Erin started to cry. He desperately tried to calm her down.

"OHMYGOD! Erin, I'm sorry! Please, don't cry!"

Erin was too freaked out to stop crying.

"Please stop crying" Jake begged.

As Erin continued to cry Jake quickly lost his patience.

"STOP CRYING, DAMMIT!!!!"

Now, Erin runs away in tears. Once alone, Jake calmed down and was horrified at having lost it.

_I can't do this!_

* * *

**A cemetary in Virginia, a few days later...**

It's Richard Barksdale's funeral. Mourners were walking by the casket and dropping flowers on it as they say their last goodbyes. First, Emma walks by.

_Richard, you were such a good man. You were a loving husband and father. A decent provider who built a fortune and brought our family into high society. I will miss you so. In honor of your memory I will try to get Helen to see what a mistake she made marrying a low class worm like Jake Morgendorffer._

She dropped her rose on the casket and proceeded onward. The next mourner was Rita.

_Dad, I'm sorry I screwed up and married the first rich guy I could land. You were right, Bruce Chambers is a no good son of a bitch. I met a guy with a nice yacht recently, I think I'll marry him. I wish you could've lived to see that day. I miss you, Dad._

Rita dropped her rose and moved forward. The next mourner was Amy.

_Dad, I know we weren't on the best of terms. I hope you can forgive me in death since you never got the chance in life. After all, you eventually forgave Helen for becoming a hippie. I guess I just needed to find myself too. I'm sorry. I love you, Dad, and I'll always miss you._

She dropped her rose and moved forward, trying not to cry. The next mourner was Helen.

_Dad, you were so wonderful. I wish you were still here, I could use your help. Jake and I are having a child and I wanted you to be around to see it. I will miss you, Dad. You were the best father a girl could ask for. When I got married you accepted Jake with open arms._

She dropped her rose on the casket and moved forward, crying. Next was Jake.

_I wish you were still here, Richard. I could really use your help. I'm about to become a father and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. You could've shown me how to be a good father because you were a good father. I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and mess my kid up the same way my father messed me up. I'm scared._

He dropped his rose and moved forward.

* * *

 **Barksdale Manor, that evening...**  
 **Music:** "Love Action" by The Human League

  
_I need your..._   
_Love action_   
_Love's just a..._   
_Distraction_

The whole family was in the dinning hall sitting down for dinner.

Helen: (VO from 2008) _At dinner that evening my mother once again tried to lay into Jake_

Sandi: (VO from 2008) _God, she sounds like my mother._

_She is a lot like her, Sandi. I think that's why Linda always rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway..._

Emma said "So, Helen, since you're going to be a mother now I take it that you'll be quitting your job."

Trying to keep her anger in check, Helen said "No, I won't."

Emma asked "Then how do you expect to raise a healthy child? You can't be employed and be a good mother, it's simply not done."

Helen was visibly offended by this.

"I'll have you know that plenty of women are being mothers with successful careers."

Determind to have her way, Emma said "The only proper way to raise a child is to be at home with them while the father is out providing. That's just the natural order of things. And I don't care for your disrespectful tone, young lady." Emma now turns her venom on Jake. "By the way, Jake, Rita told me how you frightened poor little Erin the other day. I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree."

Jake looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Springing to her husband's defence, Helen said "For your information, Mother, I think Jake will make a wonderful father."

Emma sneered "And what makes you think that? He's going to be the same uncouth psychopath that his father was. Your marriage to a mentally damaged urchin is a stain on the honor of the most esteemed house of Barksdale."

Helen angrily stood up.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!"

Emma slapped Helen across the face. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER, YOU UNGRATEFUL WENCH!!!! NOW, SIT DOWN!"

Helen did as she was told despite a clear urge to throttle her mother senseless.

Turning to her son in law, Emma said "Jake, I really don't think you have what it takes to be a good father. In fact, I'd wager that you lose this job and force Helen to provide while you abuse the child all day due to your ineptitude. Do you even know how to discipline a child without hurting them?"

Jake felt very small at that moment.

"Um...Actually...You see....um...uh..."

Moving in for the kill, Emma hissed "Exactly, you don't."

Her anger flaring up once again, Helen said "Like you do, mother. You always spoiled Rita rotten while nothing Amy or I did was never good enough for you. I won't do that to my child, just like Jake won't be the monster that his father was."

Smug, Emma asked "And just how do you plan to do that?"

Helen said "By letting our child know that it's loved. After all, it's natural for a parent to love their child."

Emma wasted no time emotionally hitting where it would hurt the most.

"No, it isn't. I love Rita but I don't love you or Amy."

This got Amy to join in the argument. She stood up, walked right over to Emma and got in her face.

"How dare you say that to either of us!" Amy barked viciously, "If you don't love your daughters then at least have the courtesy to pretend that you do."

Emma slapped Amy across the face.

"You ungrateful little whore! I want you out of this house!"

"Best news I've heard all day" Amy defiantly replied. She would not attend another family gathering until Erin's wedding seventeen years later.

"Good riddance to that embarrassing trash" said Emma. She then turned her attention back to her middle child. "As for you, Helen, you constantly embarass me with your choices and your unrealistic notions. You refuse to be a proper lady. Instead of a man of means you marry an odd ball hippie who's the son of a psychopath. I can already tell that you and Jake will be unfit parents."

Helen decided that she'd had enough.

"That does it! Jake, we're leaving!"

"but...Helen..."

"NOW, JAKE!"

Jake nervously got up from his seat. As he and Helen left Emma eyed them both with a look of fierce determination.

_I have to get Jake out of the picture and make Helen see the light before the baby's born._

* * *

**Act III**  
 **Montage**  
 **Music:** "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton

We see a montage of the next few month. First, we see Helen reading legal briefs at the office. Next, we see Jake looking at his first paycheck with visible disappointment.

Helen: (VO from 2008) _The next few months were a whirlwind for both of us._

We see Jake and a now showing Helen at the lab for an ultrasound.

Doctor: "It's a girl."

Next, we see a split screen of Helen and Emma arguing over the phone.

Helen: (VO from 2008) _My mother kept trying to convince me to quit my job, leave Jake and move back to Virginia._

Now, we see Helen and Jake in lamaze class. Jake looks terrified.

Jake: (VO from 2008) _At the same time I couldn't shake my fear that I'd be a bad father._

Next, we see a shot of Helen in the office of her boss, Mr. Baylor. He looks more like a cowboy than a lawyer.

Helen: (VO from 2008) _My boss refused to give me any more maternity leave than the bare minimum required by law. He also told me that motherhood would eliminate me from consideration for a partnership in the near term because he felt I wouldn't be able to give it my all._

Next, we see Jake and Helen shopping for baby supplies. This is followed by them re-decorating the spare bedroom in their apartment into a nursery. Montage ends with Jake going over the bills and looking totally distraught.

* * *

**Jake and Helen's apartment, November, 1981, evening...**

Jake was in the kitchen cooking...something. Helen wasn't home from work yet.

As the due date for the baby approached Helen's mother had given up on convincing her to leave me and tried a different approach.

There's a knock on the door. Jake turned off the stove and answered. He was stunned when he saw who it was.

"Mrs. Barksdale!?!"

In an uncharacteristically pleasant tone, Emma said "Hello, Jake. May I come in?"

**A short time later...**

Jake and Emma were seated across from each other at the kitchen table. Emma looks disdainful.

"So, you're cooking dinner while Helen is still at work?"

Jake explained "She wanted to put in a little overtime so we'll have more money when the baby comes."

Emma rolled her eyes in a very patrician manner.

"Disgraceful! In my day men and women understood their proper place."

Jake looked very uncomfortable, which Emma noticed. Smirking, Emma said "Jake, I'll get straight to the point. This child that you and Helen are having is my granddaughter. As such I have a concern for her well being and proper upbringing. It is abundantly clear to me that neither of you are fit for parenthood....at least, not without the firm guidance of an experienced matriarch."

Jake said "I know Helen would make a good mother."

Emma immediately seized the high ground.

"And what about you? Would you make a good father?"

Jake looked doubtful.

"I...I don't know. I didn't have a good example of a father growing up."

Pressing her advantage, Emma said "And for that reason alone it's obvious that you are a very unfit parent. If you had a terrible father then it's inevitable that you will be a terrible one yourself. Frankly, what my daughter sees in you is beyond me."

Jake was very nervous. He knew how formidable his mother in law could be and now had to face her without Helen to back him up.

"Wh...What do you think I should do, then?"

Emma said "As shameful as I find divorce I find a woman of Barksdale heritage being raised in the peasant like surroundings by an unfit father even more disgraceful. It's also highly detrimental to the child, which I simply cannot allow. Therefore I want you to divorce Helen. Do it for the sake of your unborn daughter. Both her and Helen would have a much better life without you. You're just too damaged to be a stable family man."

Jake looked totally deflated.

Deciding now was the time to move in for the kill, Emma said "I know you love her, but that's not enough. I will make it worth your while."

Emma reached into her purse. She took out a small piece of paper and placed it on the table.

"Jake, that's a check for five million dollars. Divorce my daughter and agree to have no contact with her or the baby and it's yours."

Jake was shocked...and tempted.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, on a street in Highland...**  
 **Music:** "Betty Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes

  
_All the boys think she's a spy_   
_She's got...Betty Davis eyes._

Helen was driving her 1978 Toyota Corolla home from work. As she drove she was deep in thought.

_I can't believe how unreasonable my boss is being. How am I going to bond with my child in only two weeks?_

Helen pulled her car into a parking space in front of her and Jake's apartment building. Now very pregnant she hobbled up the stairs to the apartment.

**A minute later...**

Helen enters the apartment and was shocked to see Jake taking a check from Emma.

Grinning in triumph, Emma said "You've made the right decision, Jake."

Instantly suspicious, Helen asked "Mom, what are you doing here? What's going on?"

Emma said "You refuse to listen to reason so I flew here and had a heart to heart with Jake. He saw my point, especially when I offered him five million dollars.

Helen was outraged.

"WHAT!?!"

Solemn, Jake said "She's right, Helen. I'm too screwed up to be a good father. You and the baby are better off without me."

Helen didn't know who to be more pissed at, her mother or her husband.

"Jake, how could you!?!"

Before Jake could say anything, or change his mind, Emma spoke up.

"We're doing this for your own good."

Folding her arms, Helen said "And how is being a single working mother going to do me any good?"

Emma said "Helen, don't be ridiculous. You can come back home. We'll take care of you and the baby. In time you'll forget this adolescent foolishness. Your daughter will never want for anything and you can find a better husband, a better father for your baby. A man of status and proper breeding," She pointed to Jake, "As opposed to this stain on our family honor."

"But Jake is the father."

Staring her daughter down, Emma said "Not if I have anything to say about it. I'm done allowing you to besmirch our family name with your choices. This is your chance to finally leave all of this hippie foolishness behind and have your child raised to be a proper young lady."

Helen's eyes narrow. Decades of pent up resentment come spewing forth.

"HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO RUN MY LIFE FOR ME!!!! LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THAT IT'S MY LIFE, MY HUSBAND AND MY CHILD! YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HOW I DO THINGS THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM! STOP MAKING IT MINE!!!!"

Emma slapped Helen. "HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT! I'LL NOT CONTINUE TO SEE THE LEGACY YOUR DEARLY DEPARTED FATHER BUILT UNDONE BY YOUR FOOLISHNESS! I'LL NOT SUFFER THE LOSS OF STATUS THAT WILL EVENTUALLY RESULT FROM HAVING A DAUGHTER WHO REFUSES TO LIVE HER LIFE IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR CLASS! THE DAYS OF MY ALLOWING YOU TO LIVE LIKE A MONGREL ARE OVER!!!" Emma took a breath to calm herself down before continuing. "Jake at least understands that he'll be a bad father."

Helen turned to Jake. "Jake," she said, "I have a question and I want you to be honest. Are you leaving me for the money or because you want what's best for me and the baby?"

Jake sighed.

"I can't lie to you, Helen. Not about something like this."

He handed the check back to Emma, who was stunned by this.

"I can't take the money," Jake explained, "I'm leaving Helen because she's better off with her family than with me. I don't wanna leave her and it breaks my heart to do it, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice if it means she and the baby have a better life."

Now, Emma grins in triumph.

"You're even more reasonable than I thought."

Ignoring her mother, Helen said "Jake, the fact that you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness for our child's well being proves that you have what it takes to be a good father. You lost your patience with Erin a few months back, so what? You just scared her, you didn't inflict any deep psychological trauma on her and I know you'll never do that to our child."

Jake looked thoughtful. Helen's right. Finding his courage, he turned to Emma. "I'm sorry you don't approve of me, but I love Helen and I will be a good father to our child."

Emma was taken aback.

"This is foolishness! You two will ruin my standing!"

Helen got right in Emma's face.

"Mom, I think it's best if you leave, NOW!"

Emma responded with an ultimatum.

"Well, I never! Either you leave Jake or I will write you out of the will, and this time I mean it!"

Helen rolled her eyes as she knew this to be an empty threat.

"Leave, Mother. NOW!!"

Emma let out a frustrated sigh as she had no more cards left to play.

"Fine!"

Emma let herself out. Once she was gone Helen turned to Jake.

"Helen" said Jake, "I'm so sorry I almost took her money."

Helen smiled. She can't stay angry at Jake for very long.

"I forgive you."

Smiling, Jake said "You know, I think I learned something. Just because I had a lousy father doesn't mean I'm going to be one."

Helen suddenly winced in pain, but Jake didn't notice and continued to talk.

"Oh, Sure, I'll make some mistakes, but who doesn't?"

"Um, Jake..."

Jake didn't notice the wet spot forming between his wife's feet and continued to talk.

"I won't do what my father did. "

"That's nice, Jake, but...."

"I won't repeat his mistakes. And I won't repeat any that I make either."

"Jake...."

"I'm actually looking forward to this."

Helen finally lost her patience.

"JAKE!!!"

"Yes, my wonderful wife."

"I'm having contractions and my water just broke."

"GAH!!!!!"

* * *

 **Highland General Hospital...**  
 **Music:** "Urgent" by Foreigner

  
_You say it's urgent_   
_So urgent_

In the delivery room Helen was giving birth, being attended by a doctor and a team of nurses. Jake is by her side.

The doctor said "You're doing great, Mrs. Morgendorffer."

Helen turned to her husband.

"JAKE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME!!!!"

Jake looks frightened.

"EEP!"

**Several hours later...**

Helen was now in her own room with Jake when a nurse brought the baby in.

"Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer, despite the early labor she's a perfectly healthy baby girl."

The nurse handed the baby to Helen. After this, she got out a pen and clipboard.

"What name should we put on the birth certificate?"

Helen already knew what to name the baby.

"Jake, I think we'll give her my father's middle name."

"Okay" said Jake. "What was his middle name?"

"Darius," said Helen, "We'll name her Daria. Daria Ann Morgendorffer."

The nurse jotted the name down and left. Once she was gone Jake and Helen fawn over the new baby.

"Oh, my sweet little baby Daria" Helen cooed.

Jake proceeded to make a funny face at the baby.

"Goo-goo."

The baby giggles. Jake's face lights up.

"She likes me!"

* * *

**The Morgendorffer's living room, exactly 27 years later...**

Helen was finishing up the story while everyone else listened.

"...and that's the story of how you were born, Daria."

Daria was speechless.

"Cool" said Trent.

Quinn and Jim both appear to be deep in thought.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were talking about the story of Daria's birth.

"That was some story" said Jim.

"I know," Quinn agreed, "It kind of got me thinking."

"About?"

"The future." Facing her boyfriend, Quinn asked "Jim, how would you feel about having kids?"

Jim looked a little freaked. Seeing this, Quinn explained "I'm not talking about right now. We're not even married yet. Even if we were, I'd rather wait until we're on firmer financial ground. I mean someday, if and when we're married and our money situation is more certain."

Jim scratched his chin in thought. "I have to admit, I understand where you father was coming from in that story. I'm afraid that I might repeat my father's mistakes."

Quinn reassured him.

"Jim, you're not your father. I know you won't be like that."

Smiling, Jim said "That's what I'm thinking now, too. Your father didn't repeat his father's mistakes, which gives me some hope. You're right, now's too soon, but I think we'd make good parents someday."

"Me too."

The young couple now stared into one another's eyes.

"I love you, Quinn. When the time comes, I hope to be the one who gives you children."

"And I love you, Jim. I hope my future includes being the mother of your children."

They proceeded to kiss.

**End Episode.**

* * *

**Next Time**  
Emma Barksdale...is broke!?! HTF did that happen!?!


	5. The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen's mother has lost her entire fortune in the 2008 financial meltdown.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**Jake's office at Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting...**

Jake was busy at work, by which I mean he was playing with a Rubix Cube. He is unable to solve it.

"Dammit, why don't these things come with instructions?"

At this moment he recieves a message over the inter comm from his assistant, Mariela.

"Mr. Morgendorffer."

Jake was startled.

"GAH!!!!!!"

He drops the cube.

"Dammit!"

Over the intercomm Mariela asked "Mr. Morgendorffer, are you busy?"

Jake spoke into the intercom.

"No, Mariela."

Mariela said "Miss Morgendorffer needs to talk to you."

"Send her in" Jake replied.

A moment later the door opened and Quinn entered. She looked very serious.

"Have a seat, Quinn" Jake said.

Quinn sat down.

"What's on your mind, cupcake?"

Quinn said "I was just going over the monthly statements and I have some bad news. With no clients we haven't made any money. In fact, we're so deep in the red that in order to stay in business we'll have to cut staff."

Jake said "But it's just you, me, Mariela and Erin."

Quinn sighed. _Now for the hard part._ Out loud, she said "We have to lay off either Mariela or Erin."

"I can't fire Mariela," said Jake, "She's been my assistant since day one."

"But I don't wanna fire Erin," Quinn protested, "Not only is she damn good at her job but she's also family."

Jake said "If we keep Erin and let go of Mariela it'll look like nepotism. Mariela might be able to sue us for discrimination."

Quinn looked and felt like she was just punched in the gut.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at FeistyIT...**

Feisty IT's office was in the same shopping center as Pizza Prince, Deuce Hardware and Lackluster Video (which was having a going out of business sale thanks to Netflix). In the office building was a reception area. Nicole was the receptionist. Who should come in but Tom Sloane.

"Can I help you?" asked Nicole. After this, she looked up and recognized him. "Tom!?!"

Tom smiled. "Hey, Nicole!"

Nicole said "What brings you here?"

"It's not to see you, if that's what you're wondering."

Nicole looked slightly offended, which Tom noticed.

"Sorry, that came out wrong."

Nicole smiled.

"Still putting your foot in your mouth, I see."

Tom allowed himself a chuckle.

"Seriously," said Nicole, "What are you doing here?"

Tom explained "I actually have an appointment with Mr. Ruttheimer. Grace, Sloane and Paige is looking to upgrade it's software and I was hoping to secure FeistyIT's services to that end."

Pointing to an empty chair, Nicole said "Have a seat and I'll tell Chuck you're here."

"Thanks" said Tom. After this, he got an idea. "Listen, Nicole, how have you been?"

"Pretty good," said Nicole, "You?"

"Alright," said Tom, "At least as alright as someone who work's at a brokerage firm during a recession can be."

Nicole stifled a giggle.

"Hey, listen," said Tom, "You wanna go for coffee and catch up sometime?"

Nicole said "Tom, we broke up two years ago."

"Still," said Tom, "Maybe we could hang out, see if there's still some chemistry."

Annoyed, Nicole said "Tom, I have a h...boyfriend."

Tom raised an eyebrow. Seeing this made Nicole get snippy.

"What? You didn't think I'd go on with my life after we broke up."

"It's okay," said Tom, "Maybe we can just catch up, with no romantic agenda."

Nicole said nothing but had a 'yeah, right' look on her face.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Morgendorffer And Daughter Consulting...**  
 **Music:** "Single Ladies" by Beyonce

In her office Quinn was seated at her desk and looking like she's about to attend her own execution.

_I can't believe this. Dad refuses to let Mariela go. I can see why, though. She's good at her job and has been here since Dad started. He's not gonna burn that kind of dedication. The problem is that I now have no choice but to let Erin go. I feel terrible terminating my own cousin, especially since the job market is so tight right now that she has no chance of finding gainful employment elsewhere. Heck, people can't even get a job flipping burgers in this economy._

Quinn turns on her intercom. _Let's get this over with._ Out loud, she said "Erin, could you please come see me in my office. We...we need to talk."

**One minute later...**

Erin was sitting in front of Quinn's desk.

"What's going on, Quinn?"

After taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, Quinn said "Erin, I was going over the earnings reports. In order to stay afloat we have to cut staff. I don't want to, but I have no choice. We haven't had a client in over a month. The problem is that Dad refuses to let go of Mariela. I feel like shit doing this, but...well...you see..."

Erin looks devastated as she immediately understands.

"You have no choice but to let me go."

Quinn nodded solemnly. "We can't even afford to give you a severance package," she said in a tone that made it clear this decision was tearing her up inside, "I wish there was another way. I'm sorry."

Erin said "Can't you talk to your father? Get him to reconsider?"

In a remorseful tone, Quinn said "I tried. He won't change his mind."

Desperate, Erin pleaded "You don't understand. How will I get by without a job?"

Quinn was a little puzzled. "Erin, I've been to your place. You live modestly for what I've been paying you. You must have some money saved up."

"I did" Erin admitted, "but I gave it all to Grandma Emma."

Quinn stared in wide eyed, open mouthed shock.

"Why'd you do something like that?"

Erin explained "She lost all of her money when the financial sector collapsed. She's broke. The vast fortune Grandpa Richard made is all gone."

Quinn gasped.

* * *

**Barksdale Manor, day...**

Emma and Rita were in the family room having tea and catching up.

"You know" said Rita, "Brian came by the other day and tried to ask me for money."

Emma said "Don't give him a cent, Rita. If he blew his half of the divorce settlement on Lord-knows-what that's entirely his problem."

Agreeing, Rita said "After he left I remembered the check you gave me so I could have my house redone. I went to put it in the bank. I got a call from them yesterday. They told me there were no funds to back it up. Mom, are you in some kind of financial trouble?"

Emma immediately got defensive. "Well, I never! To think the bank would be so incompetent as to make such a mistake. Don't you worry, Rita. The family fortune remains intact. It must have been a clerical error."

Rita appeared reassured.

"Thank God. I was really worried for a while there."

Smiling, Emma said "Well, that just shows what a wonderful daughter you are."

Rita smiled until she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. That something was an open letter on the coffee table. She discreetly eyed the portion sticking out of the envelope.

_A letter from a collection agency!? That's odd._

* * *

**Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn walked up to the front door and rang the bell. A secon later Jake answered.

"Quinn, this is a surprise!"

Quinn asked "Dad, is Daria home? I need to talk to her."

Jake said "She's in her room reading a book. What's the problem?"

"Girl stuff."

Jake decided not to ask any more questions for fear of an uncomfortable conversation.

 **Daria's room, a short time later...**  
 **Music:** "The Pretender" by The Foo Fighters

Daria was reading a book when Quinn came in.

"Daria, I need to talk to you."

Daria sighed as she put the book down and turned to face Quinn.

"What's on your mind, Quinn?"

Quinn sat on the foot of Daria's bed.

"I had to let Erin go at work today. We can't afford her anymore."

Daria said "Well, I can see how you'd feel bad, but you did what you had to to keep the company solvent. I'm sure she has some money saved up and she can collect unemployment insurance for a few months."

Frowning, Quinn said "It turns out she doesn't have money saved up. She explained the situation to me when I let her go. Grandma Emma's broke."

Daria gasped as she went into wide eyed shock.

Quinn said "Apparently, Grandma Emma put most of her money in bank and real estate stocks. Erin told me that she lost everything in the financial meltdown. She's been living off of what Erin's been giving her. Apparently, Grandma Emma's in denial. I don't know what to do. The only people who know are Erin, me and you."

Finding her voice, Daria said "This is a lot to take in." After thinking for a moment, she added "Apparently, Grandma Emma's broke but wants to keep it a secret. The problem is that she can't. Someone will catch on eventually." With a sigh, Daria picks up the phone and dials a number.

"What are you doing?" asked Quinn.

Daria said "Leaking Grandma's secret for her own good.

She put the reciever to her ear.

"Hello, Aunt Amy..."

* * *

**Act II**   
**A townhouse in Philadelphia...**

In her living room Amy Barksdale, a literature professor at University Of PA, was reading an essay by one of her students. She found the experience very excruciating.

_Where do we find these students? In fact, how'd this moron even get into college in the first place? I've met developmentally disabled elementary school kids who write better than this. Next time I farm grading off to my TA._

She immediately put an F on the paper she just read. At this point the phone rang. Amy put down the essay and answered.

"You have reached the ninth circle of hell." Her face lit up when she realized who was calling. "Well, my favorite niece! How are you?"

On the other end, Daria said "I could be better. Quinn just gave me some disturbing news."

"Let me guess," said Amy with a playful smirk, "Jim got her pregnant."

Daria said "No, it's about Erin. Quinn was forced to let her go today for financial reasons."

"Not surprising since we're in a recession."

Daria explained "The problem is that Erin has no savings. She gave it all to Grandma Emma."

Amy said "Very foolish move on her part. Why did she do something like that anyway? My mother's rich."

"Actually, she's broke" said Daria.

Not yet connecting the dots, Amy said "Losing a job after giving away all of your money does that. I'm sure my mother will be happy to help."

"No" said Daria, "Grandma Emma's broke. That's why Erin gave her all of her money."

Amy's eyes went wide and her mouth hung open. Finding her voice a second later, she asked "How on earth did my mother lose a multi-million dollar fortune!?"

Daria explained "Erin told Quinn that Grandma put it all in the stock market a few years back. She lost everything but the house in the recent financial meltdown."

Shaking her head, Amy said "A lot of my colleagues got burned by that, too. The most senior professor in my department had to put off retirement because his 401k evaporated."

Daria said "We're telling my parents next. I'm really dreading that conversation."

"So you called me first as a warm up" Amy correctly guessed. "I know your mother's gonna go through the roof. If I know my mother, she's trying to give the impression that she's still rich and very deeply in debt as a result."

"What I don't get is why Grandma Emma continues to live beyond her means."

Amy explained "Because wealth and status have always meant more than anything to my mother. She'll have to be forced to admit she doesn't have that anymore."

Daria sighed.

Amy continued "I hate to have to tell you this, but you, Quinn and Erin may have to be the ones to confront your grandmother about this. Rita will just go into denial and my mother won't listen to me or Helen, we've both burned too many bridges over the years. I'm sorry."

"I understand," said Daria, "I guess we'd better tell my mom."

"Bye, and good luck."

"Bye, Aunt Amy."

They both hung up.

* * *

**Sloane Mansion, evening...**

Tom was staring at a picture. It was a photo of himself and Nicole back when they were dating.

_Dammit, I see her after two years and start having feelings for her again._

He sighed.

_For crying out loud, it wouldn't work between us. That's why we broke up. Even if she didn't have a boyfriend now getting back with Nicole would be a bad idea._

Tom smirked as something occurred to him.

_The fact that she's off limits is actually a bit of a turn on. Besides, her boyfriend's in the Army getting ready for a major deployment. Maybe I can help her take the edge off while he's gone. They make porno movies about that, after all._

Something else occurred to him.

_Also, infidelity is never a question of if but when. I turn up the charm even someone as strong willed as Nicole can't resist. It's simple human nature. People cheat. ALL people cheat, especially when their SO's halfway around the world and might not come back. Besides, it's not like she and Jamie are married._

Tom made his decision. He picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Mr. Ruttheimer. Listen, I need to ask you for a favor..."

* * *

**Morgendorffer House, that same evening...**

Helen's voice could be heard by all the neighbors.

"WHAT!?!"

**The living room...**

Jake was sitting on the sofa looking frightened while Helen was standing up and looked shocked. Daria and Quinn have just told her about the situation with Emma.

"Grandma Emma is completely broke," said Daria, "She's lost everything but the house."

An exasperated Helen asked "How the hell did my mother lose a multi-million dollar fortune!?"

Quinn explained "According to Erin she put it all in the stock market during the late ninties tech bubble. She moved in into housing and bank stocks when that bubble burst. She lost it all in the recent financial meltdown."

Indignant, Helen said "That stubborn old fool! It wasn't enough to spoil Rita, she had to squander everyone's inheritence too! I'm calling her and giving her a piece of my mind."

As Helen whipped out her cell phone both Quinn and Daria both panicked.

"MOM, DON'T!"

Quinn immediately snatched the phone from Helen.

"Quinn, what's gotten into you!?"

Daria said "Mom, you're too upset to handle this rationally. Aunt Amy pretty much told us that Grandma won't listen to you or her anyway."

Helen calmed down as she realized that Daria is right. Then, she looks a little hurt.

"You spoke to Amy before me! Why?"

Daria explained "Because we knew you'd fly off the handle when you found out. I needed a pep talk from her as preparation. It's nothing against you, Mom, but you do tend to get irrational when dealing with your family."

Helen calms down once again as she sees Daria's point.

Quinn said "I think the best thing to do is take a few days to calm down. We can work on ways to give Grandma Emma a reality check after the shock wears off."

Helen was surprised that it's Quinn who's being the most level headed about this. This is not lost on Daria.

"Come on, Mom. After everything we've been through over the last decade does it really surprise you that Quinn can be just as logical as I am? It's not like she's still pretending to be an airhead."

Quinn smiled.

"Thanks, Daria."

With a guilty look on her face, Helen thought _I really DON'T know my girls as well as I think!_

* * *

 **Feisty IT, the next day...**  
 **Music:** "Shake It" by Metro Station

Nicole was seated in front of Chuck's desk.

Chuck said "I got an interesting call from Tom Sloane last night."

Nicole said nothing but looked uneasy.

Chuck continued "He want's to take you to Chez Pierre."

Finding her voice, Nicole said "I'm not interested."

"I know," said Chuck, "But we can't afford to lose out on any deals."

Offended, Nicole said "Chuck, you'd better not be telling me to cheat on Jamie just so you can drum up business."

Chuck sighed. "Nicole, we're in a recession. We need all the contacts we can get if we want to survive. "

Nicole snipped "I'm your assistant, not your whore!"

Chuck said "Look, Nicole, we need a long term committment from Grace, Sloane and Paige."

Nicole held her ground.

"I'm not cheating on Jamie. Even if I were single I wouldn't do this. I dumped Tom two years ago for some pretty solid reasons."

"Come on," said Chuck, "It's just a dinner date. It's not like I'm asking you to sleep with him."

"Good," said Nicole, "Because there's no way in hell I'm doing that."

Chuck said "Look, I don't expect you to do anything against your principals but I do have a pregnant wife at home. Morals are a luxury I can't afford right now."

Narrowing her eyes, Nicole said "Translation: I want you to do whatever it takes to keep this place solvent, even cheat on your man."

"No," Chuck protested, "I just...well..." He took a second to gather his thoughts. "Look, Jamie's in another state, about to ship out to another country. I guess what I'm trying to say is consider both financial security and the fact that what Jamie doesn't know won't hurt him."

Nicole's eyes flashed with rage.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!!"

She slapped him.

"Let's see what your wife thinks when I tell her about this."

As Nicole dialed Stacy's number on her cell Chuck gulped with dread.

* * *

**Barksdale Manor...**

Emma was in the sitting room reading a book when the door bell rang.

_Blast it! I wish I still had a butler._

She had an intercomm next to her seat. She pressed the talk button.

"I'll be right out."

She got up and grabbed her cane. She hobbles over to the front door. As she does she looks around the ornately decorated mansion.

_Regardless of my financial situation I must maintain appearences._

She finally reaches the front door. After she opens it she gasps.

"Why Quinn, Erin, Daria!? What an unexpected surprise?"

"Grandma Emma" said Quinn, "we need to talk."

Emma had a sinking feeling.

* * *

**Act III**   
**Morgendorffer house, morning...**

Helen was making breakfast when Jake entered the kitchen.

"Smells good."

Helen said "What can I say, my pancakes are the best."

Jake sat down at the table. He noticed that they were shy a Morgendorffer.

"Where's Daria?"

Helen said "She and Quinn are having a girls day out. Quinn picked her up an hour ago."

Jake looked guilty. "I wonder if she included Erin," he said "You know, to make up for laying her off. Where did they say they were going?"

"They didn't." Helen suddenly looked thoughtful as something occurred to her. "Now that I think about it, Daria said she might be late getting back."

Just then, the phone rang.

"I'll get it" said Jake.

He answered the phone.

"Hello....Hi, Rita...Oh, I was wondering if they took Erin with them...That was surprisingly nice of them...Thanks."

Thinking nothing of it, Jake hung up and returned to his seat at the table.

"That was Rita. She said that Erin told her she went with Quinn and Daria to Virginia to visit your mother."

Helen's eyes went wide.

"WHAT!?!"

Not getting it, Jake said "Helen, it's nice that they want to comfort their Grandmother in her time of financial distress. Besides, Williamsburg's only a three hour drive from here."

Helen yelled "OHMYGOD! MY GIRLS ARE WALKING RIGHT INTO THE LIONS DEN!!!!"

Helen immediately ran out of the kitchen while Jake sat there totally confused.

**A street in Lawndale, a few minutes later...**

Speeding in her Prius (at least as much as one can in a slow-ass hybrid) Helen frantically spoke on her phone.

"Yes, I need the firm's private jet fueled and ready for take off as soon as I get there...The destination's Newport News/Williamsburg International."

Yes, she was taking her firm's private plane to see her mother.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Barksdale Manor...**

Quinn, Daria and Erin were in the sitting room with Emma. The three of them were trying to get Emma to admit that she's out of money. The conversation is not going well.

"How dare you three barge in here with these lies and baseless accusations!" Emma hissed.

Erin said "Grandma, you told me over the phone what happened. That you lost all of your money when the stock market collapsed. That's why I gave you all of my savings."

Emma turned to Daria and Quinn.

"Girls, I don't know why your cousin's lying to you. I am not poor."

Quinn and Daria clearly don't believe her.

Daria said "And what possible reason could Erin have to lie, I wonder?"

Emma said "I assume that she's still upset over my attempt to force her and Brian back together. She's probably lying out of spite."

Rolling her eyes, Quinn said "Grandma, will you listen to yourself? That was almost three years ago. Why can't you just admit you've lost all of your money?"

"You dare!"

Emma started to raise her cane. Quinn responded by giving her grandmother a death stare and speaking in a harsh tone.

"Don't even think about it."

Emma, for once, decided not to hit anyone with her cane.

"You think we're doing this to humiliate you?" said Quinn, "We're not. We're trying to help you."

"I don't need your pity or your help" said Emma with a snort.

Erin said "Yes, you do. You have no money. I tried to help but I can't anymore. I already gave you all of my money."

"It's not like this is a secret anymore," Daria added, "We told Aunt Amy and my parents. I'm sure they'd be willing to help."

With bile rousing bitterness in her voice, Emma said "Yeah, right. They're probably laughing their ungrateful asses off at me right now. Those two wanted nothing to do with me. They must really enjoy watching me suffer."

Deadpan, Daria said "Yeah, that's why Amy wanted us to get you to see the light of reason. "

Emma was about to hit Daria with her cane but another hostile glance from Quinn changed her mind.

"You three really need to mind your own business," said Emma, "I'm perfectly well off."

Erin said "No, you're not Grandma, and my bank statements prove it. They all show transfers from my account to yours."

Emma began to lose her nerve. She uttered the first weak excuse she could come up with. "I just had a bad month, that's all. The family's wealth and status remain intact."

Quinn got an idea.

"Can you prove it?"

Emma now looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"Here's what I suggest," said Quinn, "You show us your investment portfolio. If you're as well off as you claim then we'll drop the subject and apologize."

"If I say no?"

Quinn sounded so much like Helen when she spoke her next words that everyone noticed.

"Then we keep hammering you on the issue until you change your mind."

Emma knew this was no bluff. One thing she's noticed over the years is just how much like Helen her granddaughter can be. "Fine" said Emma. With a grin, she added "You're your mother's daughter, alright."

* * *

 **Emma's study, a short time later...**  
 **Music:** "One Step At A Time" by Jordan Sparks

_One step at a time_   
_There's no need to rush_   
_It's like learning to fly_   
_Or falling in love_

Emma was at the computer while Quinn, Daria and Erin watch patiently. Emma got up from her seat.

"Alright, I've entered my password."

She looked away out of deep shame while Daria sat in front of the computer and everyone else had a look.

Daria said "One-thousand shares. Bought at $45.25 a share, currently trading at $0.01 a share."

Quinn gasped as she read the next one.

"Two-thousand shares. Bought at $159.81 a share, currently trading at $0.25 a share."

Defensive, Emma said "Those aren't representative."

Erin read off the next two.

"Three-thousand shares. Bought at $75.15 a share, currently trading at $0.00 a share. Five-thousand shares. Bought at $95.59 a share, currently trading at $0.11 a share."

Emma winched. The other three stopped reading aloud until they'd seen them all. Quinn did the math in her head and finally gasped as she realized the losses totaled almost half a billion dollars.

"Grandma," said a horrified Quinn, "This is...!"

Deeply ashamed, Emma finished Quinn's sentence. "...the entire Barksdale family fortune. Every penny my Richard ever made, the trust funds, the savings, your inheritance. All of it, gone. All we have left is the house, I've lost everything else. And I'm almost a million dollars in debt."

Before anyone could say anything else or offer a solution, the door swung open. Helen entered and immediately got in her mother's face.

"Enough of this! Mother, are you trying to syphon money out of my girls? I'll have you know..."

Erin interrupted.

"Aunt Helen, calm down!"

"Stay out of this, Erin!" Helen barked before turning her attention back to Emma. "Mother, I'll not have you bullying and brainwashing my girls just so you can keep your stupid pride."

Quinn said "But, Mom..."

Helen ignored her and kept focused on Emma.

"My girls try to help you and you can't handle it, can you!? You just bully them into silence because you're too damn stubborn to admit that you're wrong. "

Emma grew very defensive.

"What on earth makes you think that's what's happening?"

Helen said "Because I know you all too well, Mother. My daughters came here but you couldn't handle the truth so now you start pushing them around and intimidating them into agreeing with you."

Emma immediately bopped Helen on the head with her cane. After this, she spoke in a tone that was both harsh and defiant.

"I'll have you know that my granddaughters have just gotten me to accept that I have to file bankruptcy. I was going to get your help on the process but now that you've come in and quite rudely made assumptions I think I'll find someone else who can help me get back on my feet."

Quinn immediately decided to defuse the situation.

"Grandma, you don't have to do that. Daria, try to cool Grandma off. Mom, let's go to another room. We need to talk."

Helen now looks VERY embarrassed as it begins to dawn on her that she overreacted.

* * *

**A spare room next to the study, a short time later...**

Helen and Quinn were discussing the situation.

Helen said "I can't believe you and Daria drove all the way down here without telling me. I mean, facing my mother alone! What were you thinking!?"

Quinn explained "Aunt Amy told Daria that Grandma was more likely to listen to us than to you or her. So we came down here and had finally gotten her to admit the truth when you barged in and starting spewing a bunch of accusations."

Starting to calm down, Helen said "I was only trying to protect my little girls."

Quinn said "Mom, Daria just turned 27 and I'm 25. We're not little girls anymore. This is exactly why we didn't tell you what we were doing. We knew you'd get all crazy and do something like this. That's also why Daria told Aunt Amy about the situation before we told you."

Helen was both hurt and offended.

"So, What? I'm radioactive now?"

Quinn calmly explained "Mom, you get completely irrational when dealing with your family and this situation called for cool heads. What makes you think Daria and I can't handle it?"

Helen said nothing but looks guilty. Quickly losing her patience, Quinn barked "WELL!?"

Helen let out a defeated sigh. At the same time, however, she couldn't help feeling a slight hint of pride at the fact that both her daughters are just as determined and forceful as she is.

"It's not that," Helen finally admitted "I just felt I was the one to handle this. I...I just can't accept the fact that you and Daria are grown up. I missed both of your childhoods."

Quinn was immediately sympathetic.

"Mom, you were there when it mattered the most. Also, I seem to remember us having a similar conversation three years ago. Back when you accidentally saw Jim and I having sex."

Helen sat down and sighed. She decided it was time to be honest about what was really bothering her.

"The truth is that I deeply resent the kind of person I've become over the years."

Quinn gasped. This was new.

"Mom, how can you say that? You have a successful career and a healthy family."

Helen said "But at what cost? I went to law school because I wanted to change the world for the better but the world changed me for the worse instead. Yes, I finally broke the glass ceiling. All I had to do was threaten a gender discrimination suit after I discovered they would never make a woman partner otherwise. I've only grown more disillusioned since then."

"How come?" asked Quinn.

Helen spoke with a heart breaking sound of defeat in her voice. "The more I see of what really goes on at the firm, the more I'm disgusted. The other partners are unethical parasites with not a shred of basic human decency. They'd eat their own children to win a case. I thought I could help change things. But it turns out that the complete lack of ethics, along with rampant chauvanism, is so entrenched that change isn't even possible. I feel so ...helpless."

"Then why don't you quit?" asked Quinn, "If you're so miserable at your job why not just walk away?"

"I can't," Helen admitted, "With the job market the way it is my income has become vital. Daria can't find work and you and your father's business is in real danger of going under. Now's not the right time."

Quinn said "What about when the job market improves? This recession can't last forever. Maybe you should find something more in line with what drove you to pursue law in the first place. Just think about it."

Helen now looked very thoughtful.

* * *

**Pizza Prince, evening...**

Quinn and Nicole were having girl time over pizza in a manner similar to how Daria and Jane did back in high school. Quinn was telling Nicole about the situation with Grandma Emma.

"...so after I got Mom squared away we decided what to do now that Grandma Emma has no money. She's selling all of her estate. She'll move in with my parents while Aunt Rita moves in with Erin."

Nicole said "Sounds pretty heavy."

Quinn asked "So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Nicole said "Tom showed up at work. Officially, it was to secure Feisty's services for a tech upgrade at Grace, Sloane and Paige. Unfortunately, I think he also want's to get back together with me. Two years since I dumped him and he's still not over it."

Quinn said "What about Jamie?"

"Don't worry," said Nicole, "I'm not getting back with Tom. I love Jamie too much to do that to him."

Quinn asked "You told him about Jamie, right?"

Nicole sighed. "Yes, Tom knows I'm m...in a relationship with someone else." Nicole silently chided herself for the near slip before continuing. "I think Tom feels he can steal me off of my man, though. Chuck was NOT the least bit helpful in that regard."

"How so?" asked Quinn.

Nicole said "He tried to pressure me into going on a date with Tom in order to secure his business. He even implied I should sleep with Tom toward that end."

Quinn gasped with outrage. "That's sexual harassment!"

Nicole said "That's why I slapped him and immediately called Stacy. I got to hear a major marital spat over their speaker phone."

Grinning, Quinn said "I take it Stacy was not too thrilled."

Laughing, Nicole said "Is that ever an understatement. She totally tore into him until he realized what a jerk he was being and Chuck finally apologized."

Smirking, Quinn said "I would've loved to be there for that conversation." Thoughtful, she added "I can't really say I'm surprised, though. We both know how he gets when he's stressed out."

"That's why I accepted his apology, even though he did try to pimp me out to a prospective client. I don't care if we need the money. I'm not cheating on my h...boyfriend."

Fortunately, Quinn didn't notice this near slip either.

**End Episode**

* * *

**Next Time**  
Quinn and Jim get an unexpected visit from Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone, who's a walking personification of the phraise 'dirty old man'.


	6. Strange Uncle

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Strange Uncle"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Helen, Jake, Daria, Quinn and Jim were sitting at the kitchen table having Sunday dinner. Jim had spent the whole day showing Jake how to make real Sunday Gravy (tomato sauce with beef, pork, sausage, meatballs, and all the other fixings such as mushrooms, onion, veal shanks, garlic, parsley, basil, oregano, red wine and sugar) and they were having spaghetti with gravy and antipasto. Storm, Quinn and Jim's dog, was begging for food. Jake gives him a meatball.

"Here you go, boy."

Helen stared disapprovingly.

"Jake, don't feed the dog."

"Yeah, Dad," added Quinn, "We already fed him."

Jake ignored them and scratched Storm behind the ears. "Who's a good boy?" he said in a cutsey voice.

"A classic case of Dad versus his inner child," Daria remarked, "Looks like another victory for the inner child."

Jim stifled a laugh. He always liked Daria's sense of humor.

"I like the way you think."

With faux jealousy in her voice, Quinn told Daria "I saw him first, sis."

They all have a laugh until Jim's cell phone goes off. He looks at the number.

"I gotta take this."

He answered. "Hello?" He smiled upon realizing which one of his parents it was. "Hi, Mom." Jim was relieved that it was Gina calling and not Tony. That relief proved short lived, however. "What!?!" A second later, Jim calmed down. "Come to think of it, I shouldn't be so surprised." He listened for a second. "No, I haven't seen or heard from him...Well, if he contacts me I'll let you know...I'm having dinner with Quinn's family." After a few seconds Jim looked at Helen. "My mom says hi."

"Tell her I said hello" Helen replied with a smile. While she abhorred Tony's toxic, sexist nature she'd always gotten along splendidly with Gina.

Jim returned to talking to his mother.

"Helen said hi back...I will. Bye, Mom."

With that, Jim hung up and proceeded to explain the interruption. "Sorry about that. Apparently my uncle, Vito, has gone missing. His wife threw him out two days ago and nobody knows where he is."

Sympathetic, Helen said "Jim, that's terrible! What happened?"

Jim looked a little awkward. She caught him in bed with two hookers he thought. Out loud, he said "I probably shouldn't say."

* * *

**Pizza Prince, the next day...**

Quinn and a four months pregnant Stacy were having lunch and catching up. Quinn was telling her about the call Jim recieved during Sunday Dinner.

"...so now Jim's uncle has been missing for three days now. I couldn't believe it when we got home and Jim told me why Vito's wife threw him out. Eww!"

Stacy said "God, I know! Frankly, he got off light. If I ever caught Chuck with two hookers in our bed I'd probably kill him."

Quinn gasped in shock as Stacy sounded a little too serious.

Realizing how disturbing her last comment had come out, Stacy said "Sorry, pregnant. Sometimes the hormones make me say crazy stuff."

Quinn decided to change the subject.

"So, how have you been?"

"The usual," said Stacy, "Sleepless nights, morning sickness, craving foods that used to gross me out. I actually had a pickle and honey sandwich for breakfast this morning."

Quinn scrunched her nose.

"Stacy, Ewwwww!"

Stacy looked a little insulted by Quinn's reaction, which Quinn noticed.

"Stacy, I'm sorry."

Smiling, Stacy said "It's okay. It was a normal reaction. I'll get even when you're pregnant."

They both laughed.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were sitting down and talking about their day.

Jim said "I changed to oil in Kevin's Hummer today. I recorded it and I'm gonna upload it as a tutorial on how to change your own oil."

Quinn smiled as she recalled just how a cronic unemployable like Kevin Thompson drives a high end gas guzzler. "I can't get over the fact that Mr. Taylor gave him a Hummer and a house as a wedding presant."

Deadpan, Jim said "I guess dowry's are making a comeback. I hear Mr. Taylor even sweetened the pot with two fatted calves and a goat."

They both laugh when there's a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" said Jim.

He got up and answered the door. The person was a fifty-something man with slicked back hair, a beer gut, pinkie rings on his fingers and a gold chain around his neck with a huge gold cross. His Hawaiian shirt was unbuttoned, showing his wife beater t-shirt and hairy chest. It's Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone.

"Uncle Vito!"

Vito said "Hey, Jimmy! How ya been?"

As they hugged Jim said "I'm good, Uncle Vito."

Jim let his uncle in and closed the door. Vito walked up to Quinn and immediately kissed her hand.

"How ya doin', che bella ?"

Flattered, Quinn said "I'm good, Mr. Carbone."

"Please, sweetheart, call me Vito."

Vito sat on the other side of Jim.

Jim said "Mom told me Aunt Julia threw you out. Where have you been the last three days?"

Vito said "Sleepin' in motels. I decided to pay youse guys a visit. I know this is unexpected but could I stay wit' youse? It'd just be for a few days. Hopefully by then Julia will have calmed down enough to take me back."

Jim looked apprehensive.

Quinn said "Of course you can stay with us. You're part of Jim's family, after all."

Nervous, Jim said "Quinn, I need to have a word with you in private."

Jim and Quinn went into the bedroom.

**The bedroom, a minute later...**

Jim said "Are you sure about this? I mean his wife just threw him out for having a threesome with some hookers on their bed."

Quinn said "Jim, he's you're uncle. The least we can do is be a little hospitable."

Jim saw Quinn's point.

"Alright, but don't offer him any alcohol."

"Why not?" asked Quinn.

Visibly embarrassed, Jim explained "Because you're a beautiful woman and let's just say that Uncle Vito's not the best at keeping his hands to himself after he's had a few."

Now, it's Quinn who looks apprehensive.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's house...**

Chuck and Stacy were in the living room discussing baby names.

Stacy said "So we know that if it's a boy we'll name it after you."

Chuck said "And hopefully he turns out better than me. I could do without our son going through his teens as the next Upchuck."

Giggling, Stacy said "Don't worry. If it's a boy we'll make sure he knows how to treat a woman with dignity and respect."

Added Chuck "Just like if it's a girl we'll teach her to be self confident."

"Exactly," said Stacy, "No daughter of mine's going to spend her teens being a helpless doormat like I was."

Chuck said "And no son of mine's going to spend his teens being a repulsive sleazebag. By the way, what are we gonna name it if it's a girl?"

Stacy looked thoughtful.

"I don't want her named after me. That could get confusing."

"We could name her after your mother" Chuck suggested.

Stacy scrunched her nose.

"Mildred Ruttheimer!? Ew, no way!"

Stacy soon has a thought.

"I'm having another craving. Could you make me a tofu and raw fish sandwich?"

Chuck looked like he wanted to upchuck.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, morning...**  
 **Music:** "Womanizer" by Britney Spears

Vito came into the bathroom wearing a wife beater and boxer shorts but had a change of clothes in his arm. He completely disregards the fact that someone is taking a shower. The person in the shower didn't notice that Vito had entered the bathroom. Vito placed his clothes on the counter next to the sink. He looked in his toiletry bag.

Damn, I left my toothbrush at that last motel. I wonder if Jim has a spare.

He turned to the shower, thinking it was Jim who was in there. The person taking a shower still hadn't noticed Vito's presence until the latter suddenly drew back the curtain.

"Hey, Jim..."

A naked and wet Quinn screamed and immediately tried to cover herself with her arms.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Not even bothering to avert his eyes, Vito said "Quinn! I'm sorry, I thought you were Jim." He proceeded to leer at Quinn's naked body. "Damn, you got one hot body! No wonder Jim loves ya, you're perfect."

Quinn didn't know whether to slap him or kick him in the groin.

* * *

**Act II**   
**Quinn and Jim's bathroom, morning...**

Vito had just walked in on Quinn taking a shower. Not helping matters was Vito's continued staring at Quinn's nakedness. Quinn was, naturally, pissed.

"Quit staring at me, you perv!"

With a lecherous grin, Vito said "C'mon, I'm giving yas a compliment. You got the body of a sex goddess."

Quinn angrily pulled the curtain to cover herself. Vito was disappointed by this.

"Awww! I was enjoying the show."

Angry, Quinn barked "Dammit, Vito, I'm trying to take a shower here!"

Shrugging, Vito said "No problem. Do you have a spare toothbrush?"

Fighting the urge to strangle Vito, Quinn said "Yes, and I'll give it to you after I'm showered and dressed."

"Could I have it now?" asked Vito, "I can brush my teeth while you finish up."

Quinn found that suggestion infuriating.

"OUT, VITO! NOW!!!"

"Awright! I'm goin', jeez!"

Vito left the bathroom as Quinn looks like she wants to kill someone.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's house...**  
 **Music:** "Cry For Help" by Shinedown

Chuck and Stacy were both sitting in the living room, visibly exhausted because they haven't slept at all the previous night. They're still trying to figure out what they're going to name their child if it's a girl.

"We could name her Esmeralda" Chuck suggested.

Stacy looked as thoughtful as possible for a person who hasn't slept in twenty-four hours.

"No, it's too...yawn...too...yawn...What was the name again?"

"E...yawn...Es...yawn...Esmeralda."

Struggling to stay awake, Stacy said "Too...yawn...t...yawn...too...yawn...exotic."

Chuck tried to think some more.

"We could...yawn...flip...What were we talking about just now?"

Stacy's eyes were now very heavy.

"B-baby name...yawn...girl."

"Oh,..yawn...yeah."

Chuck looked like he was ready to pass out. "Coffee" he suggested.

Too exhausted to think, Stacy asked "You...yawn...want to name her Coffee!?"

Struggling to keep his eyes open, Chuck said "No, I...yawn...need caffine...too...tired to think."

Stacy responded by promptly falling asleep.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were at the table having dinner. Vito is not present.

Quinn said "Did I tell you that Vito walked in on me taking a shower this morning?"

Jim was not the least bit surprised by this. In fact, it's one of the reasons for his initial reluctance to let Vito stay with them.

"Uncle Vito never was one to knock."

"He wouldn't stop staring at me," said Quinn, "It was kinda creepy."

Jim said "No surprise there."

Quinn was puzzled by Jim's nonchalant attitude.

"Why isn't this bothering you?"

"Two reasons," said Jim, "One, you're so attractive that if I got crazy jealous every time someone looked at you I wouldn't have the time or energy for anything else so I don't waste time obsessing over something I can't do anything about. Two, when it comes to the girlfriends and wives of family members he's strictly look but don't touch...at least when he's sober. I'll have a talk with him."

Quinn said "I have to admit that while I was mostly creep out I was also a little flattered."

Jim raised an eyebrow.

Quinn explained "He said I have the body of a sex goddess. Part of me was thinking "I've still got it"."

Jim said "You're only 25. Assuming you keep taking care of yourself the soonest you'll start to lose it is twenty years from now." Smiling, he added "In any case, you'll always have it in my eyes."

Quinn smiled. "You can be so sweet sometimes." Turning serious, she said "It was still mostly creepy, since this was a guy who's old enough to be my father staring at me while I'm naked."

Jim said "I'm pretty sure it was an accident."

Quinn visibly felt reassured by this.

"By the way, where is he right now?"

Jim said "He was going a little stir crazy so I told him about Cafe Risque. He went there."

Quinn now looks apprehensive.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Cafe Risque...**  
 **Music:** "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera

A drunk and Vito was leering at the girls. He was particularly interested in one girl who was working the pole. It's Sandi. She's wearing a lacy black bra and black thong panties with high heeled sandals. She grinds the pole suggestively. Vito pulled out a hundred dollar bill. Holding the bill up with his right hand he signaled Sandi over with his left. Seeing this, Sandi crawled from the pole to Vito in a very suggestive manner. He gave her the money, which she tucked in her g-string. She danced close to him.

Enjoying the sexy show Sandi was putting on for him, Vito asked "Can I get you into the Champagne Room? I'd like a private dance."

Sandi flirtatiously moved as if to kiss him. Once she had her lips to his ear, she said "Private dance is five-hundred dollars entry fee and a minimum tip of two-hundred."

"That's no problem" said Vito.

Sandi got down off the stage. "Follow me" she said in a suggestive tone.

She lead Vito to the Champagne Room. There's a bouncer, a very muscular black man with a shaved head, guarding the door.

"Lou, is the Champagne Room free?" Sandi asked the bouncer.

Lou said "Yes. Does this customer have the five hundred dollar entry fee?"

"Here ya go" said Vito as he gave Lou five hundreds.

Lou placed the money in a pouch attached to his belt labeled "Champagne Room Fees". After that, he told Vito "Before you go in let me lay down some ground rules. This is a legitimate business with a strict look-but-don't-touch policy that is only very slightly amended in the Champagne Room. Cafe Risque is a gentleman's club. Therefore, you are expected to behave like a gentleman. Rule one: She can touch you but you can't touch her. Rule two: she can perform completely naked but you are expected to remain fully clothed at all times. Rule three: kissing is only allowed if the girl initiates it. Violate these rules and you will immediately be removed from the premises. Understand?"

Vito nodded. "Yes."

Lou opened the door and let them inside.

**Inside the Champagne Room...**

The room has velvet purple walls, a pole and a chair for a lap dance. Vito sat in the chair.

Sandi said "Now, let me show you just how naughty I can be."

 **Music:** "Naughty Girl" by Beyonce.

Sandi worked the pole, grinding it and licking her lips sensually in time with the music. She began to remove her bra. Sandi made a show of taking off her bra and dropping it on the floor. The then cupped her bare breasts while swaying her hips sensually. She then grinned seductively as she slowly pinced her nipples. Next, Sandi slowly and methodically removed her panties in time with the music, making O-faces as she touched herself. Vito watched this with a lecherous grin on his face. Now stripped down to just her sandals, Sandi continued to dance totally naked, her movements so erotic that any man would be entranced. Vito enjoyed this so much that he pulled out two hundreds and signaled Sandi over. Sandi sensually crawled toward Vito like a hot sex kitten. She took the money and stuck it in the strap of one of her sandals. After this she sensually crawled up on Vito and slowly straddled him. Sandi mimed riding Vito in time with the music. She teased him further by thrusting her breasts into his face but pulling back before he could put his mouth on them. She even erotically licked his face and breathed in his ear. She also began to make erotic moaning sounds to turn him on further. While Sandi likes to go right to the line with customers, however, she never crosses it. Vito, on the other hand, immediately forgot the rules. He grabs her ass with one hand, her hair with the other. He then forcefully licks her, which pisses her off to no end. Sandi responded by raising the alarm.

"HANDS! HANDS!"

The door suddenly flew open and Lou saw what was going on. He immediately helped Sandi pull free from Vito's grip.

"What's going on?" asked the bouncer.

Angrily pointing at Vito, Sandi said "He just grabbed me and started licking me."

Lou turned his attention to a now nervous Vito.

"You were warned, pal!"

Lou grabbed Vito and dragged him out of there.

**The main club, a second later...**

Vito broke free of Lou and jumped up on stage. He tried to grab one of the other girls before Lou grabbed him. Vito then punched Lou so hard that the bouncer fell off of the stage. Vito was immediately rushed by a whole team of bouncers.

A supremely embarrassed Sandi watched as the bouncers literally dragged Vito outside.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, an hour later...**

Quinn and Jim were watching TV when the phone rang.

"I'll get it" said Jim. He then got up and answered the phone. "Hello?" Jim suddenly looked both surprised and concerned. "Uncle Vito! Where are you?...What do you mean you're in jail?" His eyes went wide. "Disorderly conduct" Jim listened for a minute before looking pissed. "Dammit, Uncle Vito, Quinn and I know her....."You're goddamn lucky all she did was sick the bouncers on you. Dammit, that place is a legit gentleman's club, not a brothel!" Jim rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine! I'll be there shortly."

After hanging up, Jim explained to Quinn what was going on. "You won't believe this, Quinn. Uncle Vito got fresh with one of the girls at Cafe Risque and when they tried to escort him out he punched one of the bouncers. He was arrested for disorderly conduct so now I have to bail his ass out of jail!"

Quinn's eyes went wide.

"You're kidding!"

"It gets worse," said a visibly embarrassed Jim, "Apparently, the girl he tried to cop a feel off of was Sandi."

Quinn was mortified.

* * *

**Act III**   
**Pizza Prince, the next day...**

Over lunch Quinn was loading off on Nicole about the night before.

"...so now Jim's uncle, Vito, has to pay a $100.00 dollar fine and is barred from the place. It's especially embarrassing because the girl he got fresh with is one of our friends."

Smirking, Nicole said "I'm surprised Sandi didn't land in a few hits herself while she was at it."

Quinn said "Well, Vito was a paying customer. Also, Sandi's not the type to beat up someone when she can get a muscular stud to do it for her."

"Well," said Nicole, "In fairness to Jim's uncle she was giving him a private lap dance, up close and personal."

"Still," Quinn replied, "I know how it works at Cafe Risque due to having had them as a client. It was made clear to Vito that he was to just sit there and enjoy the show. After all, they're pretty strict about the look-but-don't-touch rule, even in the Champagne Room." Quinn took a moment to calm down before continuing. "I just don't get how a guy as sweet as Jim can come from such a vulgar family. His mother's pretty decent and his brother seems okay, but his father and uncle are such pigs."

Sympathetic, Nicole said "That's why I broke up with Tom. His parents were racist assholes who had a problem with me just because I'm asian. It would've been tolerable if he'd bothered to stick up for me."

"Speaking of which," said Quinn, "He hasn't made another half-assed attempt to steal you off Jamie has he?"

Shaking her head, Nicole said "No, thank the gods. He seems to have accepted that I've moved on and he should too."

Quinn said "I guess he's finally growing up like the rest of us...ten years behind schedule."

Both women laughed.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's house...**

In the living room a physically and mentally exhausted Chuck and Stacy still can't decide what they'll name the baby if it's a girl.

"How can this be so hard?" Chuck asked. "We've been at it for three whole days and we still can't decide what to name the baby."

Stacy admitted "I'm half tempted to say screw it and just hope it's a boy."

At this point, Chuck got an idea.

"How about Sandra, or Alexandra? Either way we could call her Sandi for short."

Stacy giggled at the suggestion.

"What's so funny?" asked Chuck.

Stacy said "I was just imagining how high school Sandi would react to the possibility of her future namesake being Sandi Ruttheimer."

Chuck laughed.

"Yeah, that is kind of funny."

Just then, both their faces lit up with an idea.

"Hey!"

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, the following evening...**

Quinn and Jim were getting ready to go out while Vito watched TV.

Turning to his uncle, Jim said "Now, Uncle Vito, Quinn and I are gonna be gone for a couple of hours. Chuck and Stacy invited us on a double date tonight. Are you gonna behave yourself?"

"Don' worry aboudit," said Vito in his heavy outer borough accent, "I won't go to a strip club, get drunk and get my ass arrested. Scouts honor."

"Good!" said Quinn in a stern tone. "You do realize the girl you grabbed was my friend, right?"

Remorseful, Vito said "Next time you see her tell her I'm sorry."

"I will" said Quinn. "Bye."

"Later, Uncle Vito" added Jim.

"Have fun, you two."

With that, Quinn and Jim left. Once they're gone Vito got a piece of paper out of his pocket. He looked at it, picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Madame Amour's Escort Service..."

* * *

**Chez Pierre, later...**

Quinn and Jim were seated at a table directly across from Stacy and Chuck.

"Thanks for inviting us, you guys" said Quinn.

Jim added "Sorry you have to pay for us."

Shrugging, Chuck said "That's okay. I understand that money's a little tight for both of you right now."

"So, how are things?" asked Quinn.

Stacy smiled.

"We've decided what to name our baby."

Puzzled, Quinn said "Stacy, that's great, but you're only four months along. You can't already know the sex of the baby, can you?"

Stacy said "We decided on a girl's name and a boy's name."

Chuck declared "If it's a boy we'll name him after me."

"Charles Ruttheimer the fourth, huh?" said Jim. "Makes sense."

Beaming proudly, Satcy said "And if it's a girl, we'll name her Quinn."

Quinn was visibly stunned, and moved.

"Y...You want to name your daughter after me!?"

"Of course," said Stacy, "It took us forever to pick a girls name so we finally decided that if we have a girl why not just name her after my best friend. Besides, we also want you and Jim to be the baby's godparents."

"But," said Quinn, "Jim and I aren't married yet."

Chuck said "Frankly, it's only a matter of time until you two are. We figured that since you two are our closest friends it makes perfect sense. This way if, God forbid, something happens to Stacy and I we know our son or daughter would be left in the hands of people who'd love that child as if it were their own."

As Jim sat there looking thoughtful Quinn was almost moved to tears.

"Oh, Stacy!"

Quinn walked up to Stacy and gave her best friend a hug.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening...**  
 **Music:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

The door opened. Quinn and Jim, having returned from their double date, enter their apartment.

Quinn said "That was so sweet of them to plan on naming their daughter after me and asking us to be the baby's godparents."

"What can I say?" Jim asked rhetorically. "Chuck and Stacy are true friends."

At this point they spot a trail of men's and women's clothes leading from the couch to the bedroom. None of the clothes are theirs. Jim was especially worried to see this.

"Oh, God!"

They ran to the bedroom and open the door. They then both gasped in horror as what they saw was the stuff of nightmares. Vito was naked in Quinn and Jim's bed being serviced by two also naked high end call girls.

"Oh...Yeah..." Vito groaned, "That feels so good."

"You like that, big boy?" said one hooker as she...well, I probably shouldn't say.

The second hooker said "We know how to please a man."

They both proceeded to....do stuff to Vito.

"Oh...Yeah...So...uhg...hot..."

Quinn and Jim: "EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"

**The living room, a short time later...**

Vito was back in his clothes and the girls were gone. A VERY upset Quinn got right in his face.

"You brought hookers into our home! INTO OUR BED!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!"

Jim came in from the laundry room. "Well, I've got the sheets in the washer." Turning to Vito, Jim angrily barked "Uncle Vito, you said you'd behave yourself!"

Vito said "C'mon, Jimmy. It was just a little harmless fun."

Jim got right in Vito's face.

"YOU WERE HAVING A THREESOME WITH TWO HOOKERS IN THE BED QUINN AND I SLEEP IN!!! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SIGN OF DISRESPECT! WHAT IF WE CATCH SOMETHING THANKS TO YOU?"

Vito grew defensive.

"OOOOOOO, Jim, relax, will yas? They were clean, it was a high end escort service. And what's with this whole sanctity of your bed deal? It's not like you and Quinn are married."

Quinn was about to smack him when there's a knock on the door. "We'll discuss this later" she said as she went to answer.

Once the door was opened Quinn was shocked and relieved to see it was Jim's father.

Tony said "I'm here to collect my idiot brother."

Quinn had a relieved smile on her face.

I never thought there'd be a day that I'm actually happy to see him!

* * *

**Pizza Prince, the next day...**

Quinn and Daria were having lunch. Quinn was telling her sister about Vito's stay.

"...so Vito went to move in with Jim's parents until he can find his own place."

Daria replied "So you and Jim spent the whole week babysitting a dirty old man."

"Pretty much," said Quinn, "I was actually happy to see Jim's father. That never happens."

Daria asked "How is it that a guy like Jim is related to a bunch of jerks like that?"

Quinn looked thoughtful for a second.

"Beats the hell out of me."

Daria had a thought.

"Remember your brief guardian angel phase in high school? You were right about one thing; some things really are beyond our knowledge."

The sisters exchanged knowing smiles.

**End Episode**

**Next Time**  
Morgendorffer And Daughter Consulting goes out of business and Quinn has to figure out what to do with her life next. At the same time Nicole needs Sandi's help making an extra special Valentines Day present to send Jamie.


	7. Making The Video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn considers a YouTube career after Morgendorffer And Daughter Consulting goes out of business. At the same time, Nicole enlists Sandi's aid in making a sexy video for Jamie.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game next. We see Quinn calmiing down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Making The Video"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**The parking lot in front of Quinn and Jim's apartment, day...**

There's a camcorder mounted on a tripod next to Quinn's car. Quinn and Jim were looking at the camera.

"Hello, I'm Jim the Car Guy. Today, I'm going to show my girlfriend how to fix a flat tire. Say hi to the viewers, Quinn."

Quinn smiled sweetly.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Quinn, Jim's girlfriend. I looove a guy who can show me how to fix a flat."

She batted her eyes at the camera.

A short time later...

Quinn's car was now jacked up and the rear driver side tire was off. Facing the camera, Jim said "Now that I have the tire off, it's time to make it flat."

Jim grabbed a nail gun while wickedly smiling at the camera. Quinn feigned being nervous.

"Um, Is that safe?" Quinn asked in a tone that'd fool anyone who didn't know she was acting.

Sounding like he didn't give a shit, Jim replied "No, not really".

He then shot a nail into Quinn's tire.

**Later...**

Quinn's tire was now repaired, re-inflated and re-attached to the car. The car had also been taken back down.

Facing the camera, Jim said "And that's how to fix a flat tire."

"You're so smart, Jim" Quinn said in the same tone she'd used when sucking up to Sandi back in high school.

Sounding like a sexist tool, Jim said "That's why I'm the man."

Jim then shut off the camera. Once that was done he and Quinn both started laughing.

Quinn said "Now that I don't do it all the time it's actually fun pretending to be a total airhead."

Jim said "Exaggeration for comic effect goes a long way toward bringing in the views. I wonder how my subscribers would react if they knew I'm not a condescending jerk."

They both have a laugh about that.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Sandi's apartment...**  
 **Music:** "Hot 'n' Cold" by Katy Perry

Sandi and Nicole were sitting on the couch catching up.

"So, Nicole," said Sandi, "What brings you here?"

Nicole said "I need your help with something, Sandi."

Sandi listened intently.

Nicole said "See, now that Jamie's back in Iraq I want to send him something that'll help him deal with the distance and danger."

"What did you have in mind?" asked Sandi.

"A video" Nicole answered. When Sandi raised an eyebrow Nicole added "A naughty video. Basically, I want to send him a video of myself doing a naughty strip tease. Since I can't be with him physically I figure maybe he'd appreciate having me in his spank bank."

Sandi immediately figured out where she comes in.

"And you want me to show you some moves and help choreograph a dance."

Nodding, Nicole said "I figured since you're a stripper you could help me work on a dance that'll get him so hot and bothered that he won't be able to get himself off looking at anything else." After a brief pause, Nicole continued. "Look, I know you're sensitive about the fact that you're a stripper, but..."

Sandi cut her off.

"Nicole, I'd love to."

Nicole's eyes lit up.

"Really!?"

Smiling, Sandi said "As President Of The Fashion Club it was my solemn duty to help those in need of enhancing their attractiveness. Teaching you how to be sexier for your man is something I'd be happy to do."

Nicole said "Oh, Thank you, Sandi!"

Continuing to smile, Sandi said "When I'm done Jamie won't be able to think of you without pitching a tent ever again."

Nicole was looking forward to this.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were having dinner and talking about the day they just had.

Quinn said "I had fun being in one of your videos, Jim. I didn't know you blended comedy with cars."

"That's what brings in the views," Jim explained, "You may be the marketing consultent, but I know what sells on YouTube."

Quinn frowned as she remembered how much business had slowed at her job. "Speaking of which, after we wrapped I stopped by the office. I was hoping against hope that we'd have some new prospective clients lined up."

Jim was genuinely interested. "And?"

Quinn looked especially grim. "We don't. In fact, I looked at the financials. We can't afford to pay Mariela this month. In fact, even if we lay off Mariela we only have enough money left to pay off our outstanding debts. After that Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting will be broke."

Caustiously optimistic, Jim said "At least my channel's making some money now. It's not a lot, but it's enough to cover the bills. How's your father taking it?"

Quinn sighed.

"I haven't told him. This company was his dream. If he knew we were going under it'd kill him."

Jim said "He needs to know that the company's almost broke. From the sound of things you two are on the verge of going out of business."

"We have no choice but to go out of business at this point" Quinn admitted. "I'm just afraid to tell Dad. He'll be devastated."

They both look uncertain.

Quinn added "There's also the fact that we'd both be out of a job. Dad has Mom's income as a lawyer to fall back on, but what about us?"

Understanding, Jim said "I guess we have to cut back on things around here. It's not like you can find a job when they're disappearing at a rate of a million a month. Maybe start your own YouTube channel. It might take a while but eventually you'll make enough to live on. Especially given your camera presence."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Pizza Prince, the next day...**

Quinn and Nicole were having lunch. Quinn is telling her about her financial situation.

"...so now we have to go out of business and I'm afraid to tell my father."

Nicole said "Seeing how he's had two heart attacks already and the second one nearly killed him I can see that. Maybe you should break it to him easy."

Quinn suddenly got an idea.

"Jim and I are having dinner with my family on Sunday. I could tell him then, with all of us there to calm him down."

"That could work" said Nicole.

Quinn decided to change the subject.

"How about you, Nicole? How are things with you?"

Nicole said "Well, Jamie's in Iraq now. He told me it's not as bad this time. Most of the combat now is different groups shooting it out with each other with our forces caught in the middle."

Quinn asked "I don't know if I could handle it if Jim was in an active war zone. How are you holding up?"

Nicole said "I just think about that as little as possible." Wanting to get off the subject of Jamie being in danger 24/7, she said "Did I tell you about the Valentines Day present I wanna send him?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"That's still a month away."

Nicole said "This is the kind of present that requires some long term prep. I'm gonna film myself doing a sexy strip tease and send the video to Jamie."

Quinn said "Um, Nicole, are you sure? I mean, doing an X-rated dance isn't like dancing in the club."

Nicole said "That's why I got Sandi to help me. She's gonna show me some moves and help with the choreography. She was all too happy to help."

Remembering that Sandi's bisexual, Quinn joked "I'm sure getting to see you in various states of undress had no bearing on her decision."

Laughing, Nicole said "Well, I guess she gets a free show."

Turning serious, Quinn said "You sure you want Sandi teaching you how to do a professional strip tease? I mean, Sandi goes both ways and you look like Tiffany with a Brittany sized rack."

"Come on, Quinn," said Nicole, "Even if I were single Sandi knows I'm straight." Something occurred to her. "Why are you against me doing this?"

Quinn explained "Nicole, I've known Sandi since I was fourteen. I guess I'm worried that she might revert to her old bitchy self if the lesson doesn't go smoothly."

Nicole said nothing but looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Nicole's apartment, the following evening...**

Sandi stood outside knocking on Nicole's door. She was wearing a large fur coat and had a package with her. Nicole, wearing a bathrobe, answered.

"Hey, Sandi."

"Hey, Nicole. Ready for your first lesson?"

Nodding, Nicole let Sandi in and closed the door behind her.

"What's that?" Nicole asked, pointing to the package Sandi had.

"A home stripper pole," said Sandi, "I'm going to show you how to work the pole."

Nicole had a wicked grin as she imagined Jamie being driven wild by the sight of her working the pole.

**A short time later...**

Sandi had just finished setting up the pole. "Alright, Nicole," she said, "Now, I'm going to show you how to work the pole."

Nicole looked in rapt attention as Sandi removed her coat. Underneath, the brunette was wearing a lacy black bra, black thong panties, black fishnet stockings and high heel sandals.

"Alright," said Sandi, "Now, watch me."

Sandi walked over to the pole. She moved suggestively around it before grinding against the pole. Next, Sandi sensuously climbed the pole before sliding down with an I-want-you look on her face.

"Remember the look," said Sandi, "You want to have an expression that wordlessly asks 'do you wanna fuck me'."

Nicole nodded in understanding. Sandi went up the pole again. She looked at Nicole with a lustful stare and 'come-fuck-me' eyes. Sandi then flipped upside down and slid down the pole, her legs spread wide as she did.

Next, Sandi walked away from the pole. "Okay, Nicole," she said, "Now, you try it."

"Okay" said Nicole as she removed her robe, revealing the lacy purple bra and panty set she wore underneath. The panties were thongs and the material on the bra was so thin that Sandi could make out Nicole's nipples.

Nicole went to the pole and tried to mimic Sandi's moves. It didn't go well. When Nicole tried to grind the pole she went so hard that it fell out of place.

"Sorry" the asain sheepishly said as she repositioned the pole. When Nicole tried to slide up the pole she fell on her ass.

Seeing the disappointed scowl on Sandi's face, Nicole said "Sorry."

Nicole tried again. She tried to climb the pole, but looked clumsy as she did. She then gave Sandi the I-want-you look, but it was so unconvincing that a blind person would see that it's fake. Nicole was about to try some moves when...

"STOP!"

Nervous, Nicole asked "What's wrong?"

Icy, Sandi said "Does Jamie have a thing for drunks, because you work the pole like one?"

Nicole was now supremely embarrassed.

* * *

**Act II**   
**A diner in Lawndale, day...**

Quinn and Stacy were sitting in a booth having lunch and catching up. By now Stacy is visibly pregnant.

"Thanks for having lunch with me, Quinn."

"No problem, Stacy," said Quinn, "How are things?"

Stacy said "I had an ultrasound yesterday. I'm going to be the mother of Charles Ruttheimer the fourth."

Quinn smiled brightly.

"So, it's a boy. Stacy, that's great!"

Stacy said "Sorry we aren't naming this one after you."

Quinn smiled reassuringly.

"That's okay, Stacy. "

"So, how have you been?" Stacy asked.

Frowning, Quinn said "Not so good. It turns out that Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting is almost broke. We have no choice but to go out of business."

Stacy was immediately sympathetic. "Quinn, that's terrible! What are you gonna do now?" A moment later, Stacy thought of something. "You don't need some money, do you?"

"No, thank God," Quinn said, "Jim's YouTube channel is starting to make enough money for us to live on. I don't know what we'd do otherwise."

Remembering how it was Jake who started the business back when she and Quinn were in high school, Stacy asked "How's your father taking it?"

Quinn said "I haven't told him yet. I'm waiting until this weekend. He'll be devastated and it'll probably take all of us calming him down to prevent heart attack number three. I'm also dealing with some other concerns."

Stacy looked curious.

"What kind of concerns?"

Quinn explained "Nicole wants to make a strip tease video and send it to Jamie as a Valentine's Day present. She asked Sandi to help her out. I'm worried that Sandi might go too hard on Nicole."

"Taking lessons on being sexy from Sandi?" said Stacy. "Considering what a hard ass she can be Nicole has my sympathies. Being on Sandi's bad side is a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

* * *

 **Sandi's apartment, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Milkshake" by Kelis

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard_   
_And they're like, it's better than yours_   
_Damn right, it's better than yours_   
_I could teach you, but I have to charge_

Nicole was recieving another strip tease lesson from Sandi, and it wasn't going well. Nicole was wearing a sexy black nightie and trying to sway her body suggestively in time with the music. Trying is the operative word as Nicole's moves are so stiff and dodgy that she looks more like she's having a seizure than trying to turn someone on. Sandi, clad in a skimpy black string bikini, was rapidly losing her patience.

"No, no, NO," she barked, "Nicole, you're dancing like someone who's auditioning for a part in The Excorcist."

Blushing with embarrassment, Nicole said "Sorry."

Standing up, Sandi growled "Watch me again."

As Nicole sat on the couch, Sandi began to dance provocatively. She expertly swayed her hips in time with the music while running her hands all over her body in a sensual manner. Sandi also cast suggestive glances at Nicole. Next, Sandi continued to writhe suggestively in time with the music as she blew Nicole a kiss. She then made a come hither gesture with one hand as she ran the other sensually over her own body. As she did this, Sandi also cast lustful glances at Nicole and licked her lips in an erotic fashion. Finally...

"That's how it's done, Nicole," said Sandi as she stopped dancing, "Now, dance like you've never danced before. I want you to make me so horny that I'd do anything to have you...and God help you if you screw up again!"

Nicole stood up and tried to do what she'd just watched Sandi do. She looked so awkward that Sandi groaned in frustration.

"STOP!"

Nicole stopped dancing.

"What's wrong, Sandi?"

"What's wrong," Sandi hissed, "Is that you're so sexy that if you were single and into girls I would've jumped you some time ago, but any such desire is being killed by your atrocious dancing."

Frustrated, Nicole said "Look, I'm trying, okay!"

"And failing miserably," Sandi snapped back, "Dammit, Nicole, if you can't turn me on with your dancing then how the hell are you gonna turn Jamie on!?"

Nervous, Nicole said "I...Look, I'm trying."

"Quit trying and start doing!" Sandi barked. "Now, again!"

Nicole tried, but was so nervous that she tripped and fell on her ass.

"UGH!" Sandi groaned as she facepalmed herself.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, Sunday evening...**  
 **Music:** "Twenty-One Guns" by Green Day

Seated at the dinning room table were Helen, Jake, Daria, Quinn, Jim and Emma. The atmosphere is somewhat tense.

"So, Quinn, you and Jim are still living in sin I see" said Emma in a disdainful tone.

Helen gave her mother a stern look.

"Mother, you promised to behave yourself."

Rolling her eyes, Emma said "Look, I didn't approve when you and Jake lived together without being married and I don't approve of Quinn and Jim doing it now. It's improper."

Daria sarcastically asked "And being rude to dinner guests isn't?"

Emma was about to hit Daria with her cane when...

"Mother" said Helen in a firm tone, "You know that hitting people with your cane isn't allowed in this house."

Emma grudgingly put her cane down.

Quickly changing the subject, Helen said "So, Jim, I hear your YouTube channel is starting to make some money."

"Yes," said Jim, "It's not a whole bunch, but it's enough to pay the bills."

Claerly in a confrontational mood, Emma said "As if that's real work. You are living off of Quinn. Disgraceful."

Quinn immediately sprang to Jim's defense.

"I'll have you know that Jim's now making more than I am."

That got Jake's attention.

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

Quinn gasped upon realizing what she'd just let slip. All eyes were now on Quinn, making her wish she could become invisible. "Um...Well...You see....uh....." She takes a deep breath. "I went over our financials the other day. We can't afford to pay Mariela's salary this month. If we lay her off that only leaves us with enough money to pay off our outstanding debts. Morgendorffer and Daughter consulting is broke. We have to go out of business."

Jake's eyes went wide as he leapt out of his chair.

"GAH!!!! MORGENDORFFER AND DAUGHTER IS BROKE!?! GODDAMMIT!!!!!"

Smirking, Emma said "Once again, we see how pathetic you are."

This made Helen angry.

"Mother, you listen..."

Jake interrupted her.

"She's right, Helen!"

Helen was stunned speechless.

"Uh-oh" said Daria, knowing full well what was coming.

"Emma's right, I am a pathetic loser." Jake's eyes darkened as childhood memories began to boil to the surface. "Dammit! She's right, just like my father was always right! I am a good for nothing loser who'll never amount to anything!" He looked at the floor and shook his fist. "HAPPY NOW, MAD DOG!?! YOU WERE RIGHT, I AM A NO GOOD WUSSY LITTLE..."

"JAKE, CALM DOWN THIS INSTANT!!!" Helen barked.

Emma immediately destroyed any chance of snapping Jake out of his rant.

"Let it all out, boy. Like me, you are now just a peasant."

Helen was furious at being undermined by her own mother.

"MOM!!!"

Jake continued his rant.

"I AM A WORTHLESS PEASANT!!! A WEAKLING WHO CAN NEVER BE A REAL MAN!! MY FATHER WAS RIGHT!!!!! MY FATHER WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG, GODDAMMIT!!!!"

Emma bopped Jake with her cane.

"That's for blasphemy, boy!"

Now, Helen started to fly off the rails.

"DAMMIT, MOM..."

Suddenly, Helen looked dizzy and was hyperventilating.

"Mom!?" said a concerned Daria.

Helen breathed heavy and looked disoriented. She stood up, which made things worse. Finally, she passed out, which snapped Jake out of his rant.

"HELEN!!!!!!"

Quinn was horrified.

"MOM!!!!!!"

* * *

**Cedars of Lawndale, later that evening...**

Jake, Daria, Quinn, Jim and Emma were nervously pacing around the emergency room.

"Ohmygod!!!!" said a frantic Jake, "What if Helen had a heart attack!?! My business is going under and now I lose my wife!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Dad, calm down" said Daria.

Jake calmed down.

Trying to reassure her father, Quinn said :Daddy, we don't know what happened except that Mom passed out. Let's wait and hear what the doctor says."

Jim added "She's right, Jake. I took her pulse after she passed out and it was normal. She was just unconscious. Like Quinn said, let's wait and see what the doctor says."

As if on cue, the doctor, a brown skinned and raven haired woman in her late 20's, emerged.

"Mr. Morgendorffer, I am Dr. Gupta. I've finished examining your wife."

Continuing to panic, Jake said "Please tell me she's alright, for the love of God!!"

Dr. Gupta seemed a little annoyed. She immediately looked at Quinn.

"You'll have to excuse my father, Dr. Gupta," Quinn explained, "He gets a little too energetic when he's worried."

Shrugging it off, Dr. Gupta said "Well, my tests found nothing physically wrong with her. I asked her what led up to her passing out and she told me she was arguing with her mother while trying to calm your father down after he recieved some bad news. "

Quinn now looked guilty.

Continuing, Dr. Gupta said "She said she felt like bugs were crawling all over her body, she felt dizzy and started hyperventilating until she passed out. It appears that Mrs. Morgendorffer suffered a panic attack."

Quinn's face lit up in realization.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that! I should've known."

"How would you know what a panic attack looks like?" asked Daria.

"Because Stacy used to get them all the time in high school" Quinn answered.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Nicole and Jamie's apartment...**

Sandi had been over to give Nicole more lessons. The lesson was already over, having ended early. Now, instead of dancing they were arguing.

"Dammit, Nicole!" Sandi barked, "What the fuck's your problem!? You're a former cheerleader!"

"A cheerleader who's almost a decade out of practice!" Nicole fired back.

Sandi hissed "Nicole, I have tried to show you everything I know! You should be able to dance in a way that drives all men wild with lust. Hell, by now you should be able to strip dance so well that even the straightest straight girl would switch teams to get with you but so far all you've done in completely turn off a bisexual woman who used to fantasize about you on a regular basis."

"Well, excuse me if I don't live up to what gets you off!" Nicole snapped.

"Dammit," said Sandi, "You suck so bad that if you send Jamie a video of you it'll probably turn him gay!"

Nicole took that one very personal.

"You take that back right now, you fucking bitch!"

"No," said Sandi, "I refuse to take back something that's true."

Nicole flew into a rage.

"You...BITCH!!!"

She angrily slapped Sandi.

Sandi actually stagged back because Nicole's slap was so hard. She felt something warm and wet on her lip that tasted salty. Sandi wiped her mouth and looked at her hand. She gasped upon discovering that she was bleeding.

"How...dare...you!" Sandi growled. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, YOU YELLOW, SQUINTY EYED BITCH!!!"

Sandi then punched Nicole right in the face.

Upon realizing that punch had given her a bloody nose, Nicole lost all self control.

"YOU WHITE BREAD C@#$!!!!" Nicole shouted as she angrily charged at Sandi. Soon, they were trying to claw each other's faces off.

* * *

  
**Act III**   
**Quinn and Jim's apartment, morning...**

Jim, still dressed in just a wife-beater and boxer shorts, was at the computer while Storm lay on the floor next to him. He is staring at the screen in amazement.

"No way!!"

Quinn emerged from the bderoom in a white tank top and green panties. She has clearly just woken up.

"Goo... _yawn_...Good morning, honey."

Jim was too fixated on the computer to respond, which Quinn noticed.

"I'm not that terrible in the morning, am I?"

Jim finally acknowledged her. "Quinn, I was just on my YouTube account. I'm looking at that video we made. When I uploaded our video a few days ago I only had one thousand subscribers. The video has over forty-thousand views and my subscriber count...well, see it's now.."

Cut to a famous scene on DragonballZ

Vegeta: "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!"

Cut back to Quinn and Jim's apartment. Quinn is in wide-eyed, open mouthed shock.

"You're kidding!?!"

"See for yourself" said Jim.

Quinn looked at the computer screen and gasped.

Jim said "Not only that, but in the comments they're all begging for more videos of you. I think we just found the solution to all of our financial problems."

Quinn was too spellbound to respond.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Nicole and Jamie's apartment...**  
 **Music:** "Womanizer" by Britney Spears

The place was a mess. Furniture was upturned, drawers were open and many, if not most, of Nicole and Jamie's worldly posessions were strewn all over the floor. Sitting in the middle of this whirlwind of destruction were Nicole and Sandi, both of whom were covered in cuts and bruises. They'd spent the whole night fighting until they were both so beat up and exhausted that they passed out right there on the living room floor.

Stunned, Nicole said "I can't believe we spent all night trying to beat each other up! I can't believe we wrecked my place in the process."

With a sigh, Sandi said "Sorry about that." After a moment, she added "Sorry I called you all those racial slurs last night. I was just so pissed off that all I could think of was hitting you where it hurts. I...I'm sorry."

"That's okay," said Nicole, "I wasn't exactly Miss Sensitivity myself last night either."

Sighing, Sandi said "Nicole, I have a question, and I want an honest answer."

Nervous, Nicole said "Okay."

"Why is this so hard for you?" Sandi asked. "I get that your days as a cheerleader are long past but you've clearly kept up with the fitness routine as your overall body shape suggests. You should be able to move gracefully with ease, so why can't you?"

Nicole sighed. "To tell you the truth," she said, "I'm scared. I want this video to be perfect. I want Jamie to see me do a strip tease that's so hot he'll see me as a sex goddess. Maybe...maybe..."

Sandi immediately understood.

"You're afraid he won't come back, aren't you?"

Nicole nodded in admission.

"I'm scared. He's in an active war zone and here I am spending each day wondering if today's gonna be the day I find out he's KIA."

Sandi asked "How does sending him a sexy video help?"

Nicole said "I'm hoping it'll give him some incentive to be careful. I'm hoping he won't take any chances if he knows what's waiting for him back home."

Sandi guessed "You also don't want him to run off with someone else."

Nicole admitted "I'm not that worried about that. We actually took a precaution against that kind of temptation before he left."

Sandi gave her friend a puzzled look.

"What kind of precaution?"

Nicole sighed. _Should I tell her? We wanted to surprise everyone when he came back._ Out loud, she said "Sandi, my point is that I'm nervous. I want this video to be perfect."

"Nicole," said Sandi, "It doesn't have to be perfect. The only reason I was being so harsh is because I thought perfect was what you wanted. Look, if you want to pull this off you need to not put so much pressure on yourself." Sandi took a breath before she continued. "Tell you what, Nicole. Just do your best and I promise I won't get bitchy if it's not good enough. Besides, just the fact that it's you should be enough to turn him on. Otherwise, it isn't meant to be."

Nicole felt better until Sandi uttered that last sentence.

"Sandi, that's something else I'm afraid of, that maybe Jamie and I rushed things."

Sandi raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean 'rushed things'?"

Nicole took a deep breath.

"Sandi, I need to tell you something, and I want you to keep it strictly between us."

"Okay."

Nicole said "See, Jamie and I are..."

* * *

**Halycon Hills Office Park, later that day...**

On the door to Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting was a sign that reads "Out Of Business". Inside the office a despondent looking Jake was cleaning out his desk. Quinn came in and was concerned.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I did everything I could to keep this from happening."

Jake sighed.

"I know you did, honey. It...it's just hard to accept that I'm a failure."

Quinn put a hand on her father's shoulder.

"Dad, you're not a failure. It's the recession. What happened to us is happening to a lot of people."

"It still hurts," said Jake, "Mom's now got to carry my weight in addition to her mother and Daria. At least you have Jim to support you until you get back on your feet. I just wish this didn't all fall on your mother now. It gave her a panic attack."

"Dad, that's no one's fault" said Quinn.

Jake said "What am I gonna do now? I'm 59 years old. It's too late to start over."

Quinn replied "Mom makes more than enough to provide for everyone. I know you'll think of something."

Jake frowned.

"I guess. What about you? What are you going to do now?"

Smiling, Quinn said "What Jim's doing. I appeared in one of his YouTube videos and it sent the number of views and subscribers through the roof. In addition to regularly appearing on his channel we're going to start a joint vlog channel and I'm also gonna start my own channel."

Smiling, Jake said "That's brilliant, Quinn. You really have good business sense."

She kissed Jake on the cheek.

"I learned from the best, Daddy. If you ever wanna make a guest appearence, let me know."

Jake visibly feels better.

* * *

**Pizza Prince, the next day...**

Quinn and Nicole were having lunch and catching up. Quinn was telling Nicole what the family's going to do now that both she and Jake are out of a job.

"...so in order to make it easier on Mom, Grandma Emma agreed to move to Better Days nursing home. Dad's handling the loss of his business surprisingly well and I'm starting a YouTube channel."

"That's great, Quinn" said Nicole.

Quinn asked "How's your video for Jamie coming along?"

Nicole grinned wickedly.

"After a few bumps, and one very vicious fight, Sandi came up with the perfect idea. Jamie's gonna love it."

Quinn asked "What kind of idea?"

Nicole said "Sandi's gonna appear in the video with me. We're gonna dance together and do something every guy wants to see his woman do."

Quinn asked "What?"

With faux modesty, Nicole said "Oh, you know, provocative dancing, taking each other's lingerie off, simulated lesbianism."

Quinn's eyes went wide with shock.

"Nicole!"

Nicole said "Relax, Quinn. It's something Jamie's long fantasized about. Now he actually gets to see his w...girlfriend get busy with another girl. We know each other well enough to know he'd be totally cool with it. Besides, Sandi and I aren't actually gonna do it. We're just gonna act like we are."

Apprehensive, Quinn asked "Are you sure you're okay with making softcore lesbian porn?"

Nicole said "I'm just gonna do it this once as a special gift for my h...boyfrined."

"I guess" said Quinn. After an eye roll, she wondered out loud "What is it about guys that makes them wanna see their girlfriends get it on with another woman?"

Nicole said "Beats me, but I'm willing to do it this once to turn him on. After all, we've both seen Stacy make out with girls for Chuck."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Gives You Hell" by All American Rejects

In the kitchen Jim was mounting a camera on a tripod while Quinn was looking at the baking ingredients set on the counter.

"Thanks for helping me set up, Jim."

"No problem, Quinn," said Jim, "Are you sure you wanna do this kind of a channel?"

Quinn said "Well, just like you're into cars and insane stunts, I'm a good cook and an expert on skin care. This is the way to go."

Jim finished the set up.

"Okay, you're all set."

Jim stepped back in order to stay off camera while Quinn turned the camcorder on.

Smiling at the camera, Quinn said "Hi, I'm Quinn. You probably recognise me from my boyfriend's channel, Jim the Car Guy. He suggested I start my own channel. He's sooooo smart. Better than the loser I dated in college. I can't believe that guy thought I'd stay with him after he failed to go pro. Also, Jim's better equipped down there, if you know what I mean. Anyway, welcome to "Smores 'n' Pores", a channel dedicated to cooking good and looking good."

Quinn then held up a mixing bowl.

"Today, we're going to make a Lemon Marangue Pie and then I'm going to demonstrate how to use the leftover marangue as an exfoliant."

Jim remained behind the scenes, smiling proudly.

**End Episode.**

* * *

**Next Time**  
Quinn, Jim, Daria and Nicole head up to New York to pay Jane a visit. While there, Nicole receives some news she's long dreaded.

* * *

 **Author Notes**  
1) You've no doubt noticed that when on camera Quinn seems to revert to the ditzy shallow girl persona she had in high school. She does that for comic effect.

  
2) Now you know how "Smores 'n' Pores" began.

  
3) Quinn's first video is the genesis of the persistent rumor that she dumped her college sweetheart just because his athletic abilities didn't lead to a professional career.

  
4) Sorry you don't get to read Sandi and Nicole making their strip tease/girl on girl video, but I'm trying to keep things PG-13 as much as possible. Also, having that extra scene would've made the episode too long. It also would not have advanced the story arch since Nicole and Sandi doing it is just a one time gift for Jamie (any guy who tells you he doesn't wanna see his girlfriend lez out with her hot BFF is lying his ass off, LOL).


	8. When The War Reaches Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn, Jim, Nicole and Daria visit Jane in New York. While there Nicole receives some VERY bad news.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"When The War Reaches Home"**   
**written by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**The streets of Baghdad, Iraq, day...**

A military convoy was moving through the streets on it's way to supply a US forward operations base outside the city. In addition to trucks delivering supplys from Baghdad International Airport there were also Humvees with machine gun nests serving as protection. One of the machine gunners was Corporal Jamie White. Keeping his hands on the gun Jamie visually scanned his surroundings in order to ensure they wouldn't be surprised.

Driving the Humvee was Jamie's platoon leader, a no-nonsense black man whose last name was Foley and his rank was sergeant.

"Keep your eyes peeled, White," said Sgt. Foley, "And remember we're not cleared to fire unless fired upon first."

"Roger that, Sarge" said Jamie.

Foley said "Scan the rooftops for hostiles. Stay frosty."

They continued on their way, entering the predominantly Shia neighborhood known as Sadir City. This was when Jamie saw three rough looking men eyeing them from a balcony.

"Contact," said Jamie, "Three foot mobiles on the balcony, probable Shia militia."

"Are they armed?" asked Sgt. Foley.

"Negatory," said Jamie, "They're just watching us." As the convoy continued he added "I bet those psychos are scouting us."

Sgt. Foley said "Probably, but that dosen't mean we can shoot 'em, Corporal."

After the convoy passed one of the suspicous looking men pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"(The infidels are approaching. Prepare to strike, my brothers.)"*

On the walkie-talkie, a voice responded "Allu akhbar (Praise God)."

*Translated from Arabic.

On the sidewalk a little boy who couldn't have been older than 10 or 11 walked up to the edge. The few soldiers who noticed him just assumed he wanted to watch the convoy pass out of curiosity. As such, no one noticed the boy holding a small detonator switch attached to a vest of C4 that he was wearing under his jacket.

"(Glory to God)" said the boy as he detonated his vest, smiling as he martyred himself to the Jihadist cause. Jamie never saw it coming.

* * *

**I-95 northbound, day...**

Quinn's Chevy Impala SS was driving north on the highway. Inside, Quinn was driving while Jim was in the front seat. Daria and Nicole were sitting in back. Jim was holding a camcorder.

"Jim, what are you doing?" asked Daria.

"Making some money."

Jim aimed the camera at his face and turned it on. "What's up, you guys?" he said, "I'm Jim the Car Guy..." He turned the camera toward Quinn. "...and this is my girlfriend, Quinn. "

Quinn gave the camera a brief smile. "Hiiiii" she said in a flirty tone. After this she turned her attention back to the road.

Turning the camera back on himself, Jim said "This is the first video of our couples vlog channel, Q and J. If you like this hit that subscribe button. Today, we're heading to New York to visit an old friend." Jim turned to the back seat and filmed Daria and Nicole. "This is our good friend, Nicole."

Smiling at the camera, Nicole said "Hey, everyone."

Jim then turned the camera on a less-than-thrilled Daria.

"This is Quinn's sister, Daria."

Expressionless as usual, Daria said "I hate everybody."

Jim said "Don't mind her, it just takes her a while to warm up to people." Turning the camera back on himself, Jim said "We're spending the weekend in New York hanging out with some old friends. Jane Lane is a SoHo based artist and long time friend of ours. We're also gonna hang out with Lindy, an old friend of Quinn's who we haven't seen in ages."

With that, Jim turned off the sound and places the camera on the dashboard.

Smiling, Quinn said "Easy money."

Daria made that famous half-grin of hers.

* * *

**Baghdad...**

The whole platoon was now on foot exchanging fire with the enemy as the suicide bomb had disabled their vehicles. Several men were killed. Jamie and Sgt. Foley, fortunately, were not among the dead as the explosion had merely flung them fome the Humvee, which was totally destroyed. They were both pretty banged up, but had no serious injuries. That probably wouldn't last long, however, as the enemy was shooting at them from the safety of the buildings and they were taking fire from all sides.

"GET OFF THE STREETS!" Sgt. Foley barked. Half the platoon, including Jamie, followed Foley into the nearest building while the other half was pinned down and using the destroyed vehicles for cover.

Once inside, Sgt. Foley said "We need to take the heat off our guys. Private Collins, take point."

Pvt. Collins led the group up the stairs. He only made it up half way before being torn apart by hostile fire coming from the second floor.

Without waiting for orders, Jamie ran up the stairs and threw a flashbang onto the second floor. After the flash and loud boom, Jamie ran up there and killed all the hostiles before they could regain their senses.

"COME ON!" Jamie called out to the rest of the squad. They all followed Jamie up as he took a position by the window. Impressed by his second's taking charge, Foley did the same thing. Soon, they were shooting enemy troops left and right, allowing the rest of the platoon to get to safety. After this, the enemy appeared to scatter.

"THEY'RE RETREATING!" said Sgt. Foley, "LET'S PRESS THE ADVANTAGE! SQUAD, ON ME!"

Foley led the squad down another flight of stairs and out of the building. They were all relieved to see that the enemy was continuing to retreat. That was when Jamie noticed something on a nearby rooftop. That something was an enemy sniper aiming a Barret 50 Cal rifle directly at them.

"CONTACT! HOSTILE SNIPER!"

The sniper fired his rifle. Jamie immediately ran up to Foley and shoved him out of the way. The bullet meant for Sgt. Foley instead hit Jamie's left knee with such force that it severed his leg from the mid thigh down. Falling down, Jamie aimed his M-4 at the sniper and killed him in one shot. That's when he saw the enemy running down the street toward them. As he shot his rifle Jamie yelled at the rest of the platoon.

"GET OUTTA HERE, I'LL HOLD 'EM OFF!"

"But..." said one of the soldiers.

"JUST DO IT!!!" Jamie shouted as he emptied his clip on the enemy, killing several of them while sitting in the middle of the street.

The last guy to run was Sgt. Foley. He grabbed Jamie by the shoulder straps and tried to pull him up in order to carry him off. At this point, an enemy combatant on a hearby rooftop fired an RPG directly at Jamie and Foley.

* * *

**SoHo, Lower Manhattan...**

Jane was working on a painting. She's being assisted by Lindy and Allison. Lindy looks the same as she did in "Is It College Yet" while Allison looks no different from how she did in "Is It Fall Yet" except for both being nearly a decade older.

"Whoa, Jane!" said Lindy, "This collaboration is really gonna wow the galleries."

Smiling, Allison said "I second that motion."

Jane said "Now, aren't you both glad you agreed to this."

The doorbell rang. Jane walked over and looked through the peephole. Grinning, she opened the door and let in Quinn, Jim, Daria and Nicole.

"Welcome, amigo and amigas" said Jane.

A friendly exchange of hugs and handshakes followed. Quinn saw Lindy and her face immediately lit up with joy.

"Lindy, how are you?"

Quinn and Lindy hugged.

"I'm great, Quinn. It's nice to see you again." Motioning toward Allison, Lindy said "This is my grilfriend Allison, at least until they legalize gay marriage."

Allison said "Looking forward to it, future wife."

Turning to Jane, Daria said "Is this the same Allison who got fresh with you at that art colony?"

Nodding, Jane said "She's grown up since then."

Allison said "Falling in love has that affect."

With that, Allison and Lindy kissed.

Jim, meanwhile, turned his camera on Jane.

Looking at the camera, Jane said "Allow me to introduce myself to your viewers. Jane Lane, artist extraordinnare. Welcome to my humble abode. Actually, my boyfriend's humble abode where I live rent free."

"Speaking of which," said Daria, "Where is Alan anyway?"

"On a dig in the Balkans," said Jane, "He'll be back sometime in June."

Deadpan, Daria said "Must be nice having a boyfriend who's out of country three quarters of the year."

Grinning, Jane said "I'm a big fan of absentee love. Benefits of the benign neglect also known as my childhood."

They all laugh as they sit on the couches in the center of the loft.

* * *

**A filed hospital in Iraq...**

Sergeant Foley was talking with the surgeon, who looks like Alan Alda in the TV show MASH.

"What's the prognosis on Corporal White, Doc?" Foley asked.

The surgeon said "Good and bad. First off, you're a lucky man, Sergeant. If you weren't trying to pick him up when that RPG hit you would've taken all that shrapnel instead of him. Anyway, we've removed all the shrapnel from the Corporal's body. Thanks to his body armor all the damage to his torso was minor and should completely heal on it's own. Unfortunately, in addition to his left leg having been shot off Corporal White's right leg was so badly mangled that we had to amputate it. The rest of his body will rully recover, but he'll have to live without legs from now on."

With a sigh, Sgt. Foley said "We'd better notify White's next of kin."

* * *

 **A restaurant at the corner of Fifth Ave. and 34th street in New York called "Empire Brew House", evening...**  
 **Music:** "I Love College" by Asher Roth

Quinn, Jim, Daria, Jane, Nicole, Allison and Lindy were seated at a table having dinner. Lindy was telling them the story of how she and Allison became a couple.

"...so after Allison apologized I decided to give her another chance. Best decision I ever made."

Turning to Quinn, Allison said "Thanks for setting me straight, by the way. I can't believe I cheated on Lindy just to get in a gallery opening. Fortunately, I've since realized I can make it on talent alone."

Lindy said "Quinn's something else, alright. When I told her I was bi she accepted me right off the bat."

Quinn smiled at the praise, then looked guilty.

"Sorry I lost touch after that."

"It's okay, Quinn," said Lindy, "It happens. I never stopped seeing you as a friend."

At this point, Nicole's cell phone went off. She gasped when she saw the number.

"I need to take this." With that, she answered. "Hello?"

As Nicole listened her face turned pale and she started shaking like a leaf.

"I...NO!" She took a breath to calm herself. "Is he...?" Nicole soon looked relieved. "I...Th...thanks. I...I need some time. I...Thank you." With that, Nicole hung up.

Seeing that her friend was in distress, Quinn asked "What's wrong, Nicole?"

Shaking, Nicole said "Th...That was the Army. J...Jamie, he...he was in a firefight and...and..." Nicole was now too distraught to speak.

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Quinn said "It's okay, Nicole. Take your time."

Finding her voice, Nicole said "He was severly injured. He's recovering in a field hospital, then they're shipping him back to the States. He..." Nicole lost her nerve and began to cry uncontrollably.

It was at this point that Daria thought of something. "I thought it was next of kin who got notified when this happened."

Nicole stopped crying.

"I AM his next of kin."

Jane remarked "Since when does the Army consider girlfriends to be next of kin."

Nicole took a deep breath.

"I'm not his girlfriend," she admitted, "I'm his wife."

Everyone gasped in shock as they realized Nicole and Jamie had apparently gotten married behind everyone's back.

* * *

**Act II**   
**Empire Brew House, New York, evening...**

Quinn, Jim, Daria, Jane, Lindy, Allison and Nicole were seated at a table in shock. Nicole's shock was from a call she'd just received on her cell phone. The Army had just informed her that Jamie was recovering from combat related injuries at a field hospital in Iraq and the injuries were so serious that he was being sent home. Everyone else's shock came from Nicole's revelation that she and Jamie are married.

"Y...you...and Jamie...m...married!?!" said Quinn.

"When did this happen!?" asked an equally stunned Jim.

Daria added "And when were you planning on actually telling us this?"

Nicole took a deep breath before answering the questions.

**Nicole and Jamie's apartment in Lawndale, September 2008...**

Declaring her intention to stay with Jamie despite his being called back into the Army, Nicole said "I can say without a doubt that I want us to be together no matter what. The possibility of grief is a risk I'm willing to take. Jamie, I want us to stay together, maybe even start a family someday, and I want us to be together through both good times and bad. If that means one of us buries the other then so be it. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Jamie looked thoughtful for a second. "Nicole," he said, "I want that too."

Nicole suddenly seemed to get an idea.

"Jamie," she said, "I just thought of something, and I want an honest answer."

Curious, Jamie said "Okay".

Nicole asked "How would you feel about us getting married...now?"

Jamie was stunned.

"You...You wanna get married now!? Why?"

Nicole said "I know we've only been together for fifteen months, but it's the best relationship I've ever had. Jamie, it's obvious we love each other and I don't wanna lose that. I want us to stay together and we're both willing to do that despite this hardship. Since we've just committed to staying together despite a year long seperation and I can easily see us going on to start a family and grow old together we might as well go all the way. Jamie, I want us to have a future where we're always together."

"I want that too, Nicole," Jamie admitted, "But this is kind of sudden. Are you sure?"

Nicole didn't hesitate. "Yes." After that she added "So, will you marry me?"

Jamie took a few seconds to think it over. He found no fault in Nicole's logic and the prospect of coming home to a beautiful wife who'd clearly always be there for him seemed to fill him with a sense of hope and serenity he hadn't felt in years. "Yes," said Jamie, "Yes, Nicole, I will marry you."

**Empire Brew House, New York, March 2009...**

Nicole was telling everyone the story.

"...so a week later Jamie and I went to the courthouse and eloped. We decided on this because we wanted it done before Jamie reported for duty. The only person we told was Helen so she could act as a witness. We were gonna surprise everyone else when we got back."

Stunned, Quinn said "My Mom knows!?"

Sheepish, Nicole admitted "Actually, I also told Sandi. Last month, when she was helping me make a sexy video to send to Jamie as a Valentine's Day gift. After our fight she wanted to know why it was such a big deal so I told her that Jamie and I are actually married now."

Smiling, Allison said "Congratulations, Nicole."

Lindy said "Allison and I are considering the same thing. Instead of waiting for New York to legalize gay marriage just take off to a state where it's already legal and do it there."

Quinn finally calmed down. "So, you married him, huh?"

Daria said "I'm sure collecting survivor benefits had nothing to do with it."

Offended by the insinuation, Nicole stared daggers at Daria. She raised her hand as if to slap Daria. Instead, Nicole suddenly got up from her seat and ran for the door.

"Nicole, wait!" said Quinn.

Nicole just kept running. Quinn chased after her. She tried to follow Nicole up the street but Nicole was running on pure adrenalin and Quinn couldn't catch up despite being in good shape her self. All too soon the redhead had lost sight of her friend.

* * *

**A field hospital in Iraq...**

Jamie sat up in his hospital bed. He now had a row of stitches along the left side of his face from his nose to his jaw line. While he would most certainly have a scar what really bothered him was his lower injuries. His left leg had been shot clean off by a high powered rifle. His right leg had been so mangled by shrapenel that it had to be amputated. Looking at the bandaged stumps that used to be his legs Jamie sighed.

"How ya feelin', soldier?"

Jamie looked up to see Sgt. Foley standing there.

"Like shit" Jamie answered.

In a reassuring tone, Foley said "Well, at least you still have your cock and balls."

Jamie briefly chuckled before looking morose.

Trying to cheer him up, Foley said "Look at it this way, Jamie, you've got a one way ticket home. "

Jamie said "What's Nicole gonna think when she sees me with a scar and no legs?"

Foley replied "I saw that video she sent you for Valenitne's Day. If she's willing to lez out with a friend for you I really don't think a facial scar and missing legs are gonna bother her all that much. I'm actually a little envious."

Jamie said "Yeah, I guess. I just don't know if she can handle all the care I'm gonna need."

"I think you're underestimating her, buddy," said Foley, "She knew something like this might happen when she married you."

Jamie was a little puzzled that his immediate superior was talking to him like a friend.

"Why you being so nice to me, Sarge?"

Foley said "Two reasons. One, this injury means your Army days are pretty much done, so I'm no longer your superior. Two, your actions saved all of our asses. If it weren't for you I'd be dead. Hell, you're the reason most of our platoon's still alive. In fact, word is the CO's recommending you for the Congressional Medal Of Honor."

Jamie smiled. It was comforting to know his suffering wasn't in vain.

* * *

 **The streets of Manhattan...**  
 **Music:** "Fly Like A Bird" by Nelly Furtado

Quinn, Jim, Daria, Jane, Lindy and Allison were looking for Nicole.

"I can't believe she just took off on us like that," said Quinn, "NICOLE! NICOLE, WHERE ARE YOU!" She groaned in frustration. "Where can she be?"

Daria and Jane, meanwhile, engaged in conversation while keeping an eye out for any sign of Nicole or where she may have gone.

"Penny for your thoughts, amiga?" said Jane.

Frowning, Daria said "I shouldn't have said what I did. It's my fault Nicole's missing."

Jane said "Daria, it's not like you expected her to run off on us."

"Still," said Daria, "I shouldn't have implied that she's a gold digger. If she gets hurt, or worse, it'll be my fault. Damn cynicism."

Jane put a hand on Daria's shoulder.

"Look, Daria," she said, "Manhattan's alot safer now than it was in the 80's and 90's. Besides, Nicole's on foot, she couldn't have gotten too far."

Daria was reassured to hear this.

Meanwhile, Lindy and Allison were walking alongside Quinn and Jim.

"You okay, Quinn?" Lindy asked.

"Not really," Quinn admitted, "What if something happened to her?"

"I'm sure she's fine" Allison said in a reassuring tone.

Jim agreed. "Nicole's pretty tough. It's not like we're in a dangerous neighborhood."

"I know," said Quinn, "But I can't help worrying."

Lindy said "That's what makes you such a good friend, Quinn. After all, you helped me get over my alcoholism."

Allison said "And you helped me patch things up with Lindy after...well, you know...the cheating thing."

At this point, Quinn faced Lindy. "By the way," she said, "We kind of lost touch after college. I'm sorry about that."

Lindy smiled reassuringly.

"Quinn, that happens. No harm done."

Quinn said "I just want you to know that I never forgot about you. I've actually missed you these past few years."

"Me too," said Lindy.

Just then, a guy walked up to them.

"'Scuse me, youse guys lookin' for an Asian woman?"

Jim nodded. "You seen her."

Pointing to a subway station, the guy said "She ran down there."

**Later, in the subway station...**

Quinn was talking to a booth attendant while the rest hung back.

"You sure?" she said.

"Positive," said the attendant, "She axed me how to get to Times Square."

"Thanks" said Quinn.

* * *

**Times Square, later...**

Quinn and company were standing in the crowded center of the plaza.

"Great" said Daria, "Like we'll ever find her in this mob." Suddenly, Daria looked guilty. "Dammit, remarks like that are what got us into this mess."

"Relax," said Jane, "Maybe someone's seen her."

Jim said "I hate to admit this, but finding Nicole here could take all night, assuming she didn't take off somewhere else."

"Guys," said Quinn, "We have to keep trying."

Allison thought of something.

"You think it's possible she's on her way back to Jane's place?"

"Maybe," said Lindy, "Maybe we should try to think like Nicole."

Daria dryly remarked "Okay, I'll just have breast augmentation and binge watch Naruto." She immediately blushed. _Damn, did it again._ "Sorry, habit."

Quinn said "Nicole understands that, Daria. She's probably forgotten about your thoughtless little remark already."

Allison said "Maybe we should just imagin how we'd react to the kind of bad news she got."

Thinking, Lindy said "Well, if I found out Allison was severely injured in a war zone but nothing more I know I'd go out of my mind with worry. Probably enough to start hitting the bottle again."

That's when Jane saw a bar on a corner.

"Worth a shot."

They all approached, hoping against hope to find Nicole drowning her sorrows in the bar.

* * *

**The bar, a minute later...**

A distraught Nicole was rapidly getting drunk.

"Kee... _hic_...Keep 'em cummin'... _hic_.."

The bartender, a bald man with a mustache, looked concerned.

"Are you sure? That's your sixth bourbon on the rocks."

Annoyed, Nicole barked "I... _urp_...I'll tells yuh when I'd has enuff."

The bartender sighed and poured Nicole another drink. At this point, Quinn and the rest came in. Quinn was simultaneously elated and concerned when she saw Nicole at the bar.

"Nicole!?"

She walked up to Nicole.

Seeing her friend approach, Nicole said "Hey, Qu... _hic_...G'inn... _hic_..."

Quinn's eyes went wide.

"Nicole, you're drunk!!"

Under her breath, Lindy muttered "At least it's not me this time."

* * *

**Act III**   
**Jane and Alan's place in SoHo, evening...**

Quinn and Nicole were seated on the sofa as Quinn tried to sober her up. Jane came in with a cup of coffee. She hands it to Quinn.

"Here you go. It won't sober her up completely, but it'll get her clear enough to talk straight."

Quinn took the cup. "Thanks, Jane." Handing the cup to Nicole, Quinn said "Drink this."

Lindy took the cup of coffee and downed it all in one gulp. "Thanks, Quinn."

Quinn asked "Nicole, what happened?"

Nicole said "I, well when Daria made that remark it stung like hell, you know. I know she didn't mean anything by it but with all the other bad news I just couldn't think straight, so I ran. Once I stopped and caught my breath I saw the subway entrance. I...I couldn't stop thinking about Jamie and what happened to him. I took the train to Times Square because I just wanted to lose myself in all the hustle and bustle. It didn't work, so I went into the bar hoping to drink all my fears away. I...sorry."

Quinn pat Nicole's shoulder sympatheticaly. "It's okay, Nicole."

"I'm scared," Nicole admitted, "Jamie's coming back but I'm afraid there won't be any of my husband left in him. I'm afraid he'll be so changed by what happened that it kills the love."

Jim, having overheard, joined the conversation. "That's a real concern. I know just how much that shit can change a man for the worse. Frankly, a lot of my father's less endearing traits are the result of untreated PTSD."

Nicole, who'd never met Tony Carbone but had heard all the horror stories, said "That's what I'm afraid of, that Jamie turns into a toxic psychopath."

"While that's possible," Jim admitted, "It's not a guarantee. I told you guys what I know about my father's childhood. I think that plays a bigger role than his wartime experiences. He was already pretty damaged when he first donned the uniform. While we can definitely expect Jamie to have some major issues when he comes home I doubt he'll be like my father. My old man's so far gone that killing and fighting are all he knows. That's why he became a mercenary after his time in the Army, but I really don't see Jamie going that route."

Visibly relieved, Nicole said "Quinn, I need you to do me a favor."

* * *

**Washington, DC, a few days later...**

Quinn's car was approaching the main gate of the Walter Reed hospital annex. In the car Quinn was driving while Nicole rode shotgun.

"Thanks for doing this, Quinn."

"Nicole," said Quinn, "You're one of my best friends. Of course I'm willing to come along."

They stopped at the gate. Quinn rolled down her window as the guard approached.

"Hi," said Quinn in a bubbly tone, "We're here to visit Corporal James White."

"Names" asked the guard.

Nicole said "Nicole White, I'm his wife."

Quinn stifled an ironic giggle. Nicole's last name being White instead of Yagami would take some getting used to.

"And you?" asked the guard.

"Quinn Morgendorffer, I'm a friend of the family."

The guard said "Sorry, family only."

Nicole said "You don't understand. Quinn's like a sister to both of us. I think my husband would want her to visit."

"Sorry, regulations" said the guard.

Batting her eyes flirtateously, Quinn said "Come on, I'd really appreciate it...handsome."

The guard was putty in her hands after that.

**Later...**

Quinn and Nicole entered a waiting area to find Jamie's parents already there. Mr. White looked just like Jamie, only thirty years older and his blond hair was graying. Mrs. White was a brunette with bobbed hair.

"Quinn!" said Mr. White, "Quinn Morgendorffer!"

Smiling, Quinn said "Hey, Mr. White."

Mrs. White turned to Nicole. "So, you're our daughter-in-law now."

Nicole was too stunned to speak.

Mr. White said "Jamie told us when we called earlier." He held out his hand and smiled. "Welcome to the family, Nicole."

Nicole shook his hand. "Thanks."

At this point the doctor, a black man with a mustache and hair that was gray at the temples, approached.

"Mr. and Mrs. White" said the doctor. Turning to Quinn and Nicole, he asked "And you are?"

"Quinn Morgendorffer, a guest." For emphasis, she showed the doctor the guest pass she'd managed to flirt the guard into giving her. "I'm along to provide moral support."

Nicole said "Nicole White, Corporal White's wife."

The doctor said "Dr. Hudgens. Before I let you see Jamie we need to talk about what happened and what his injuries are. He was in a firefight. A bullet from a high powered rifle severed his left leg. An RPG explosion also showered his body in shrapenel. Fortunately, his body armor prevented significant damage to his torso and his only head injury is a gash across his face that's probably gonna leave a scar. His lower extremities are another story, however."

Nicole gasped in horror. "Um...well..."

Knowing what she wanted to ask but was afraid to, Dr. Hudgens stifled a laugh. "Yes, you can still have kids someday. His reproductive organs were completely undamaged. Unfortunately, his right leg was so mangled from shrapenel that it had to be amputated. In short, he no longer has legs."

Everyone gasped in horror. Dr. Hudgens gave them a minute to let that sink in.

Nicole was the first to speak. "What kind of care will he need?"

Dr. Hudgens said "Once the wounds on his stumps are healed we'll fit him with prostetics. Then, he'll need phsyical therapy. Basically, your husband will have to learn how to walk all over again. I'd also strongly recommend psychological therapy in order to deal with the mental and emotional trauma."

Everyone took a minute to let this sink in.

* * *

**Jamie's Room, later...**

Nicole, Quinn and Jamie's parents entered. Looking up, Jamie said "Hey, Mom, Dad."

Running up to her son, Mrs. White said "My baby! Thank God you're alive!" She immediately hugged him.

Nicole looked at Jamie. It was a bit of a shock to actually see for herself that he no longer had legs.

"Oh...God!"

Jamie saw his wife.

"Nicole?"

Nicole ran up to Jamie and threw her arms around him.

"Thank God alive!" she exclaimed. "I...I was so worried!"

Refusing to let go of her husband, Nicole began to cry.

Stroking her in a comforting manner, Jamie said "It's alright, babe. It's gonna be alright."

Nicole stopped crying. "Jamie," she said, "I...I can't believe you're back. I missed you so much."

Continuing to hold her, Jamie said "I missed you too, Nicole."

Nicole said "I'm never letting you out of my sight again, Jamie. I love you."

"I love you too, Nicole."

Quinn and Jamie's parents were visibly moved by the reunion. Quinn even wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment in Lawndale, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were sitting on the sofa and talking.

"So," said Jim, "How was the visit?"

Quinn said "Very emotional. Jamie's got a long road ahead. He lost both of his legs."

"How's Nicole taking it?" Jim asked.

Quinn said "She's just glad to have her husband back."

Jim said "I still can't believe those two ran off and got married before he shipped out."

Something occurred to Quinn.

"Jim, do you wanna get married?"

Jim raised an eyebrow.

"Not right now," said Quinn, "I'm just wondering if you think we'll be married at some point."

Jim didn't hesitate. "I actually do," he said, "In fact, the only reason I haven't asked is I wanna wait for the right moment. But yeah, I actually do wanna marry you...someday."

"I love you, Jim."

"I love you too, Quinn."

With that, they kissed.

**End Episode.**

* * *

**Next Time**  
Stacy gives birth to Chucky Ruttheimer, and immediately sinks into a post partum funk.


	9. Post-Partum And Post-Traumatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacy has just given birth to her and Chuck's first child and suffers from post-partum depression. At the same time, Jamie struggles with severe PTSD from his time in Iraq.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Post-Partum And Post-Traumatic"**   
**written by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**Cedars of Lawndale, day...**

Chuck and a no longer pregnant Stacy were in a hospital room. Stacy was resting in the bed while Chuck waits by her side. A nurse came in with a new born infant. She handed the baby to Stacy.

"Here you are, Mrs. Ruttheimer. Your new born son."

As Stacy held the baby she appeared surprisingly indifferent. Chuck, on the other hand, could hardly contain his excitement.

"I can't believe it! Stacy, we're parents now!"

The nurse picked up a pen and clipbaord.

"What name should I put on the birth certificate?"

Stacy let out a disinterested sigh but no one noticed.

Chuck said "Charles Hans Ruttheimer the Fourth."

The nurse jotted down the name and left. Chuck turned his attention to his wife and their new born son. However, husband and wife had shockingly different persepctives on this moment. Chuck saw Stacy looking like a radiant goddess and the baby looking at his father with adorable blue eyes full of innocence and wonder. "Isn't this wonderful?" Chuck asked.

Stacy answere with an apathetic "Yeah, great." She looked at her son and all she could see was a ball and chain that she'd have to drag around for the next two decades, minimum.

* * *

**Stacy's hospital room, sometime later...**

Stacy and Chuck were being visited by Quinn, Jim, Daria, Nicole, Jamie and Sandi. Jamie was in a wheelchair because while his wounds have healed he has yet to be fitted with prosthetics. Chuck was holding the baby in his arms and proudly showing him off. The visitors were all fawning over the infant while Stacy looked totally disinterested. Sandi rubbed the baby's chin with her index finger.

"Awww, You're sooo cute. Yes you are. Goo-goo."

The baby giggled.

"He's so adorable" said Quinn.

Turning to Quinn, Chuck asked "Do you wanna hold him?"

Quinn was visibly flattered by the offer. She turned to Stacy.

"Can I?"

Apathetic, Stacy said "Yeah, whatever. I'll have plenty of time with him." Her tone became even more depressed. "Twenty long, dark years."

Chuck explained "You'll have to excuse her. The labor took a lot out of her." He handed the baby to Quinn. "This is your godmother, Quinn."

Quinn cradled the baby in her arms and falls in love with the child almost instantly.

"Oooooo, Aren't you the most precious little thing."

Stacy noticed that Tiffany isn't there.

"Where's Tiffany?"

Sandi said "She took off and went to Las Vegas yesterday. She didn't say why but she told me she'd be there for a whole month. By the way, Chuck, what are you calling him?"

"Charles Ruttheimer the fourth. We haven't decided what to call him for short yet."

"How about Upchuck 2.0?" Daria remarked in her characteristic deadpan.

They all stare disapprovingly at Daria.

"What?"

Jamie sighed. He looked even more morose than Stacy, which Nicole noticed.

"Something wrong, babe?" she asked her husband.

Jamie said nothing as he stared at the baby. Images of the pre-teen suicide bomber that attacked his convoy in Baghdad kept invading his mind. _He was just a kid_ Jamie thought, _And he blew himself up because those Jihadist psychos filled his head with a bunch of propaganda about martyrdom and paradise._ Out loud, he said to Nicole "I...I don't wanna talk about it."

Nicole looked worried. "Jamie, is something bothering you?"

Jamie thought He was just a little boy and he blew himself up in a deliberate attempt to kill us. What kind of world is this where even the innocents are psychotic? Out loud, Jamie said "I don't wanna talk about it."

"But Jamie..."

Jamie cut her off. "Just leave me alone" he said in a harsh tone.

Nicole was very confused.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were on the couch watching TV while Storm rested at their feet. On the TV screen was an image of a police woman in an interrogation room grabbing a suspect by his genitals.

"She's a police officer with a unique way of getting suspects to talk. The Castrating Cop, next on Sick, Sad World!"

Quinn scrunched her face in disgust. "Ewww!"

Jim said "Remind me to never get arrested."

"Now I remember why I used to prefer Fashion Vision" said Quinn, "but I have to admit this has kind of grown on me over the years."

Jim turned and faced Quinn. He looked a little concerned.

"Quinn, did you notice that when we visited Chuck and Stacy she seemed a little...disinterested?"

"To be honest" said Quinn, "I was too busy worrying about Nicole and Jamie. He was looking deeply disturbed the whole time we were there and you saw how he snapped at Nicole when she asked him what was wrong."

Jim said "Quinn, he just got back from a war zone and lost both of his legs. Is it really surprising to find him a little fucked up in the head?"

Quinn said "You think Nicole's in danger?"

"No," said Jim, "In addition to the normal trauma of being in a war zone Jamie probably feels bad for her, especially since he now has a physical handicap. I think he got short with her because he's mad at himself. He probably feels guilty that he survived and others didn't. He's probably also afraid that his handicap and issues make him a burden for Nicole. Therapy and the realization that Nicole doesn't consider him a burden will help him get over it eventually." Jim then turned the subject back toward Stacy. "I'm more concerned by the fact that Stacy appears to have no maternal instincts toward her own child. That's not normal."

Quinn looked thoughtful for a second. "Maybe she has post-partum depression. I learned about that in a Human Development course I took in college. It's the result of all the hormone changes."

"I'm a little worried" said Jim. "Maybe I'm being alarmist, but remember that news story about a woman who had it so bad that she drowned her own baby?"

With a dismissive wave, Quinn said "Like Stacy would ever do that to anyone. I think you're worrying too much."

Jim said "Maybe, but you're the childs godmother. I think you should check up on them from time to time, just to be sure."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Nicole and Jamie's apartment, late that night...**

Nicole and Jamie were both asleep in their bed. While Nicole slept soundly Jamie tossed and turned.

**Jamie's dream...**

Jamie was back in Baghdad, in the firefight where he'd lost his legs. He was once again sitting in the middle of the street after his left leg had been shot clean off, holding off a mob of Shia insurgents while the rest of the platoon retreats. Sgt. Foley came up behind Jamie.

"THE REST OF THE PLATOON'S SAFE! WE NEED TO GET OUR ASSES OUT OF HERE!!!"

Foley grabbed Jamie by the straps of his body armor and began to pick him up. Then came the RPG fired from a nearby rooftop. The enemy shooter's aim was off and the rocket didn't hit Jamie and Foley, instead hitting the street in front of them. Half the debris from the explosion went into Jamie's remaining leg, mangling it beyond recognition. What happened next was not how Jamie remembered it. Foley suddenly disappeared, as if he'd vanished into thin air. Suddenly, Jamie found his rifle out of ammo. Out of nowhere, the 10 year old suicide bomber who'd started the attack appeared in front of Jamie.

"Time to die!" the boy hissed as he tackled Jamie. Jamie grabbed the boy by the throat and rolled him over so that the boy was on top. Enraged, Jamie began to strangle the boy. Suddenly, the boy tried to speak.

"J... _ack_...Jamie... _choke_...wh... _erk_..."

Jamie's eyes went wide and he loosened his grip on the boy's throat. The voice coming out of the boy was Nicole's. Suddenly, the boy turned into a very frightened Nicole. Horrified, Jamie looked around and noticed he wasn't in Baghdad anymore.

**Jamie and Nicole's bedroom, a few seconds earlier...**

Jamie's tossing and turning had woken Nicole up. Knowing he was having a nightmare she tried to shake him awake. Without even opening his eyes Jamie suddenly grabbed her neck and rolled on top of her. He then proceeded to strangle Nicole in his sleep.

Frightened, Nicole struggled to speak.

"J... _ack_...Jamie... _choke_...wh... _erk_..."

Jamie suddenly loosened his grip on her throat and opened his eyes. He gasped in horror when he saw who he was trying to strangle. Horrified, he released Nicole and rolled off of her. As Nicole gasped for air Jamie frantically scanned the room.

"J...Jamie," said Nicole with grave concern in her voice, not for herself but for her husband.

Calming down, Jamie said "N...Nicole. I...I'm sorry."

Nicole reached over to him, but he slapped her hand away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

As Nicole sat there in stunned silence Jamie reached for his wheelchair, which was right next to his side of the bed. He pulled it against the bed and slid himself on. Jamie then began to wheel himslef toward the door in an uncomfortable hurry.

"Jamie, what are you doing?" asked Nicole.

"Sleeping on the couch," he said.

"Jamie, you don't have.."

Jamie cut her off.

"Dammit, Nicole! I almost killed you in my sleep just now!"

Without another word he wheeled out the door. Nicole sat there in stunned silence.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's house...**

In the master bedroom Stacy slept soundly while Chuck was laying awake. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

I can't believe I'm doing all of the work. Stacy doesn't even want to hold the baby. I'm changing diapers, singing lullibye's, giving it formula and soothing him when he's upset. Stacy acts like she wants nothing to do with the child.

Just then, the sound of the baby crying could be heard. It wakes Stacy.

"Chuck, can... _yawn_...can you check on the baby?"

Frustrated and sleep deprived, Chuck said "Why don't you check on the baby? I've been doing all of the work since we brought Chucky home."

Seeming to not care about her son, Stacy said "I... _yawn_...I need to sleep."

In an accusing tone, Chuck said "You've slept soundly every night since giving birth while I haven't slept a wink since we brought him home from the hospital. We're supposed to be a team, but I'm doing all the work."

The baby could now be heard crying more loudly.

"Just check on him, please?" Chuck begged, "I can't do it every single time".

Stacy grew annoyed. "I need sleep and I need you to shut that little monster up."

Chuck was very concerned by Stacy's harsh tone.

"Stacy, he's OUR son and OUR responsibility. I need a break. What if he's sick?"

Stacy responded with a curt "I don't care. I wish I'd never had the little shit."

Chuck was shocked speechless.

* * *

**Act II**   
**The Coffee Snob, the next day...**

Nicole and Quinn were having coffee and chatting. Nicole was telling Quinn about the previous night.

"...so Jamie slept on the couch the rest of the night. I didn't get anymore sleep because I couldn't stop worrying."

Horrified, Quinn said "Nicole, he tried to kill you in his sleep!"

Nicole said "He was having a vivid nightmare about the war. Quinn, I know what you're thinking. Jamie would never hurt me. You should've seen the horrified look on his face when he realized he was strangling me and not an enemy combatant. That's why he slept on the couch, he's afraid he might hurt me."

Quinn looked concerned.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," said Nicole, "I'm worried about him, though. He's got a lot of demons to deal with, yes, but I love him enough to help. In the meantime, we're taking precautions."

Wanting to change the subject, Quinn asked "Have you talked to Stacy, lately?"

"Not since the hospital visit" said Nicole. "Why?"

Quinn explained "Jim noticed something about her interaction with the baby that seems a little...off."

Nicole looked thoughtful for a second. "Now that you mention it, she did seem a little disinterested in her baby. I just assumed she was exhausted from giving birth. Why?"

"Shouldn't a mother naturally love her own child?" Quinn asked. "Stacy seems to feel almost indifferent toward hers."

Nicole said "I'm not the best person to provide insight on this matter. I don't have kids and I grew up in a stable, loving home. If you're worried, though, then I think you should check up frequently. You're that child's godmother, after all. As for mine and Jamie's issues, I appreciate the concern but I can handle it. If I can't you'll be the first person to know."

Quinn was reassured by this. "Well, let me know if things get out of hand, or even if you just need a friend to listen while you bitch. As for Stacy, I guess I could pay her a surprise visit. Maybe she'll tell me what's going on. After all, we've been besties since we were fourteen."

* * *

**Nicole and Jamie's Apartment, that afternoon...**

Jamie sat alone in his wheelchair with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and a deeply disturbed expression on his face.

 _I almost killed my wife last night_ he thought, _I actually tried to strangle Nicole in my sleep. Everytime I close my eyes I'm right back there killing terrorists, getting shot at, watching my teammates die all around me. Now I'm so fucked up I can't even sleep with my wife. What if I hadn't woken up until it was too late? What if by the time I did wake up I would've seen Nicole dead by my own hands?_

Jamie took a swig of whiskey. He then looked at the stumps that were all that's left of his legs.

_Now I can't even trust myself around the people I love. I'm a monster. All those memories, all that death and destruction. Dammit, I just can't get it out of my head. Everytime I look at the fucking stumps that used to be my legs I'm reminded of all the horror. I'll never know peace again...NEVER!_

Jamie looked at the end table next to where he was sitting. His Beretta M9 Service Pistol was laying there, fully loaded and within easy reach.

_I'm so paranoid I need a loaded gun in easy reach just to keep myself from freaking out._

At this point, the apartment door started to open. On reflex, Jamie took his gun and aimed. Upon seeing that it was Nicole he lowered his weapon and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God."

Nicole looked and saw Jamie lowering his Army side arm.

"Jamie, what the hell!?"

Sighing, Jamie said "Sorry, I just freaked when the door opened."

Nicole noticed that his words were slightly slurred. That was when she saw the open bottle on Jack Daniels.

"Great Buddha*, Jamie, You're drunk!"

*(Nicole, being of Japanese ancestry, was raised a Buddhist)

Jamie explained "I...I need it to deal."

Nicole walked right up to him and held out her hand. "You have a choice," she said, "You either give me the booze or give me the gun."

"But I don't feel safe without it."

Nicole retorted "And I don't feel safe with you having a loaded weapon while drinking. Now, hand it over!"

Grudgingly, Jamie turned his gun so that he was holding it by the barrel and handed it to Nicole.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Chuck and Stacy's...**

Quinn and Stacy were sitting on the couch and talking. Chuck was sound asleep in an easy chair.

"Where's little Chucky?" asked Quinn.

Stacy said "Sleeping in his crib, thank God. If I had to listen to that thing crying one more time, I would've gone postal."

Hearing Stacy speak like that about her own child made Quinn visibly uncomfortable.

"Stacy, how are you feeling? Are you okay?"

"No" Stacy replied in a disturbingly bitter tone.

Quinn gasped.

Seeing how worried her best friend was, Stacy explained "I'm worried. I expected to have an instant bond with the child because of maternal instinct. The problem is that I feel absolutely nothing for this baby. I can't even bring myself to see him as a human being. It feels like the baby is just some foreign object that my body expelled after nine months. I go back and forth between feeling nothing and wishing the baby would just go away."

Quinn was both shocked and appalled to hear this.

"Stacy, how can you say that about your own child?"

Stacy said "I feel nothing but growing resentment. I was so freaked out by my lack of interest in the baby that I actually called my mom to find out if that was normal. She said she never had any maternal instinct or love for me either. I believe that, given how cold she was to me while I was growing up."

"No offense, Stacy" said Quinn, "but the only person I know who's more cold hearted than your mom is Sandi's mom."

"It seems genetic in my family. My mother never loved me and I don't love my child. I wonder if I ever will."

Quinn thought That explains why Stacy was so emotionally needy when she was younger. She was desperate for the love she wasn't getting at home. Out loud, she said "Stacy, you're not your mother. Frankly, you need to find out what's making you feel this way. "

At this point, the sound of a baby crying can be heard from upstairs. This pisses Stacy off to no end.

"That little shit is a GODDAMN STONE AROUND MY NECK!!!" Looking upstairs, she yelled "SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING LITTLE MONSTER!!!!!"

Quinn was especially worried now.

* * *

**Morgendorffer House, that evening...**

Quinn and Daria were sitting on Daria's bed watching TV. On the TV screen and we see a woman lighting a car on fire while a screaming infant was locked inside.

"What happens when a kid pushes mommy too far? Burn, Baby, Burn, next on Sick, Sad World!"

Daria had her trademark half-smile while Quinn looked deeply troubled.

"I have to be honest" said Quinn, "A mom torching her kids hits a little too close to home for me right now."

"What do you mean, Quinn?" Daria asked.

Quinn said "Jim and I noticed that Stacy was acting really cold toward her baby. I visited Stacy earlier today and she admitted to me that she has no feelings toward her baby at all, except for a growing feeling of resentment. She told me that her mother never loved her and she's worried that she'll never love her child either."

"So, Stacy was love starved as a child," Daria replied, "That explains a lot".

Quinn said "I'm worried, especially after seeing what we just saw on TV."

Daria reassured her sister.

"Quinn, post-partum psychosis to the point of homicidal mania is extremely rare. That's why it's so newsworthy when it happens."

Quinn said "Alright, so Stacy probably won't go Columbine over this. I'm still worried that she might never love her child. That's not normal."

Daria said "A mother not loving her child is rare, but it does happen. Look no further than Grandma Emma for proof of that. She openly favors Aunt Rita over Mom and Aunt Amy."

"You think that's what's happening with Stacy?" Quinn asked. "That she has no maternal instincts and never will?"

Daria answered "No, but it is possible. I think the more likely scenario is post-partum depression. The hormones are readjusting now that she's given birth and it's making her moody. Add to that the stress of a new baby and she probably feels overwhelmed by the situation."

"What if she never bonds with the baby?"

"Why are you so concerned?" asked Daria, "It's not like you're going to be a mom soon". Just then, something occurred to Daria. "Are you?"

"No" said Quinn, "I'm not ruining this figure before I get a ring. I'm just worried. What if, when I do have kids, I go through the same thing?"

"How do you feel about Stacy's baby?"

"Are you kidding?" Quinn asked rhetorically. "Little Chucky's so adorable that I fell in love with the little guy on sight. I feel maternal instincts toward a kid that isn't even mine."

In a reassuring tone, Daria said "Just imagine how you'll feel when the kid is yours".

Quinn was visibly relieved. "I guess Stacy knew what she was doing when she asked me to be the godmother. But what if Stacy never loves her kid?"

Daria said "I doubt that'll happen, but if it does you can fill in. Be that cool Aunt that the child can feel safe and bond with. Be to Chucky what Aunt Amy has become to me. "

Quinn looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Jamie and Nicole's apartment, late at night...**

Nicole was sound asleep while Jamie lay awake next to her in the bed. He was afraid of a repeat of the other night when he almost strangled her in his sleep but she'd insisted. Jamie didn't dare try to sleep.

 _I can't fall asleep_ he thought, _What if I have another nightmare and attack her in my sleep again?_

He looked down at his stumps. Images of the battle where he lost his legs flooded his mind. He could hear the screams, gunshots and explosions as if they were happening right then and there. He took a deep breath in a failed attempt to suppress these memories.

_I'm too fucked up. I'm a danger to my wife and having no legs is a constant reminder of the horror. I...I can't escape it!_

Jamie looked over at his nightstand. He then looked over at Nicole sleeping next to him.

_She's better off without me. I'm damaged goods._

He reached into the nightstand and got out his M9. Jamie took the clip out and stared at it for a moment. It contained standard 9mm rounds. He placed the clip in his nightstand and retrieved a second clip. He looked at this clip closely. The bullets in this one were 9mm hollow points. After a resigned sigh Jamie put this clip in his gun and chambered a round. Next, Jamie held the gun to his right temple. He took a deep breath, but then hesitated. He lowered his gun and took another breath. Next, Jamie pointed the gun at himself once more, positioning the barrel right between his eyes. He was about to squeeze the trigger when he chickened out again. After taking a deep breath he stuck the barrel in his mouth.

_This time! This time do it!_

With newfound determination he began to squeeze the trigger.

Nicole suddenly opened an eye. The sight of her husband sticking a loaded gun in his mouth shocked her completely awake. Running on pure adrenalin Nicole snatched the gun from Jamie. As she did the gun went off. Fortunately, by then it was out of Jamie's mouth and the bullet missed him entirely, hitting the ceiling instead. Jamie looked at his wife in shock as Nicole held the gun as far away from him as she could.

"JAMIE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!" Nicole yelled with tears in her eyes.

Jamie said nothing but hung his head in shame.

* * *

**Act III**   
**Nicole and Jamie's apartment, night...**

Nicole was staring at Jamie in abject terror. He just hung his head and sighed.

With tears in he eyes, Nicole yelled "JAMIE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!"

Hanging his head in shame, Jamie sighed.

"FINE" Nicole barked. She then got out of bed and made her way to the door, carrying Jamie's gun with her.

"Nicole, what are you doing?" Jamie asked.

Holding up the Beretta, Nicole said "Putting this someplace where you can't get to it."

"Nicole," he begged, "I don't feel safe without it."

"And your sure as hell not safe with it" Nicole shot back. "Dammit, Jamie, I just woke up and saw my husband try to kill himself!"

"YOU DON'T FUCKIN' GET IT, DO YOU?" he yelled.

Saying nothing, Nicole made her way to the door.

"NO!" Jamie lunged at Nicole, forgetting that he no longer had legs. As such, all he accomplished was falling face first on the floor.

Nicole stormed out, taking the gun with her.

**A few minutes later...**

Nicole has returned and helped Jamie up into bed.

"Jamie," she said, "We need to talk."

Jamie said "I...I can't deal. I'm too much of a pussy. I should be able to suck it up and I can't."

"Oh, Jamie," said Nicole as she placed a hand on his shoulder, "That doesn't make you a pussy, it just means you're human."

Jamie said "Everytime I sleep, I'm back in Iraq. Everytime I look at myself I see these stumps and remember all the shit I went through. I can't do anything anymore. I'm just a legless freak, a fucking burden on you and everyone else. I can't get it out of my head. I...All I can think about is all the horror. Everytime I close my eyes I all the death and carnage. In my head I constantly hear the screams of pain, the eplosions, the gunshots. I...I'M FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR!" After this, Jamie buried his face in his hands and started crying.

* * *

**Chuck and Stacy's house, the next day...**

Quinn and Stacy were sitting in the living room and talking. Neither Chuck nor Chucky are present.

"Where's the baby?" asked Quinn.

"In his crib," said Stacy, "I'm afraid he'll wake up and I have to deal with him until Chuck gets back from the store."

"Is that really so bad?"

"It is. I can't stand the sight of that thing."

Quinn gasps in horror. "Stacy, how can you say that about your own baby!?"

Stacy said "I'm sorry, Quinn, but I just can't stand that little shit." Sighing, she added "I guess I turned into my mother after all."

"Do you want that?" asked Quinn. "Do you really want your child to grow up with a mother who doesn't give a damn about him? Who makes no secret of the fact that she sees him as nothing more than a burden?"

Stacy looked worried as she remembers.

**Rowe house, 1991...**

An eight year old Stacy was trying to show a paper with an A+ on it. Her mother, who looks just like her is clearly ignoring her while watching TV with a cocktail in her hand.

"Mommy, I got an A+ on my spelling test today! Wanna see?"

Irritated, Mrs. Rowe barked "Damn it! Not now, I'm trying to watch Rosanne you little brat!"

Little Stacy looked dejected.

"Aren't you proud, Mommy?"

Mrs. Rowe got right in Stacy's face. "No! I don't give a shit if you can spell. You never do anything but annoy me."

Frightened, Stacy's lip began to tremble. "But...but..."

Mrs. Rowe cut her off. "You're just a nusance. Now shut up and quit bugging me."

Little Stacy ran off crying.

**Chuck and Stacy's house, 2009...**

A worried looking 26 year old Stacy winches at the bad memory.

"Oh, God! OH, GOD!!!!"

* * *

**Lawndale High, that evening...**

In one of the hallways Nicole was wheeling Jamie toward one of the classrooms. Jamie seemed to be in better spirits and was actually telling her stories about his days as a student. He pointed to one of the lockers.

"...and that's where Quinn first talked to Joey, Jeffy and I. We actually wound up fighting over who would carry Quinn's books for her."

Nicole stifled a giggle. "Considering how she got her current squeeze to walk away from a promotion for her I can honestly say that Quinn still has that effect on men."

At this point they approach a classroom. Over the open door was a banner that read "PTSD Support Group Meeting".

Looking at Nicole, Jamie said "You don't have to do this."

Smiling, Nicole said "No, I don't have to. I want to."

**Inside the classroom, a short time later...**

The meeting has started and Jamie was introducing himself.

"My name is Jamie White. I recently returned from a combat deployment in Iraq. I lost both of my legs when our convoy was ambushed. Since coming back I've been constantly tormented by nightmares and flashbacks. I've also been so paranoid that I never feel safe. I had one nightmare so intense that I almost strangled my wife in my sleep. I...I even tried to kill myself."

The group, which consisted of combat veterans, victims of violent crime and survivors of child abuse, all nodded in understanding. Nicole then stood up and introduced herself.

"My name's Nicole, I'm his wife. I'm here to remind my husband that he dosen't have to suffer alone and let him know that I love him no matter what. I'd also like to learn how to help him, because so far I've just been winging it. I will respect group confidentiality and anything you people say about your issues I'll keep a secret."

They all gave Nicole a welcoming nod.

* * *

**Chuck and Stacy's house, the next day...**

Quinn was walking up to the front door. She rang the bell. A few seconds later Stacy answered and appeared to be in a state of panic.

"Thank God!"

She immediately pulled Quinn inside and shut the door. Once inside Quinn could hear the baby crying while Stacy is in a full blown panic.

"Quinn, Chuck's at a business meeting all day today and the baby won't stop crying. I need you to check on him."

Put off, Quinn said "Why don't you check on him? You're his mother."

"I'm afraid to!" Stacy squealed. "I can't stand the sight of him and his crying is driving me nuts! I actually want to hurt the little pain!"

Quinn gasped in horror. "How can you say that about your own child!?!"

Stacy barked "Because I hate that little monster! He's nothing but a stone around my neck!"

Angry, Quinn barked "Dammit, Stacy, what the hell is wrong with you!? That's your son!"

"Quinn, please check on him!" Stacy begged.

Quinn said "Stacy, I love that baby as if he were my own but he's your responsibility. You have to do this."

"I CAN'T!"

Quinn was not about to give up. "ENOUGH! Stacy, you need to snap out of this right now!"

Stacy flinched a little from Quinn's harsh tone.

"Stacy, come on," said Quinn, "We'll check on him together".

Quinn began to walk up the stairs. Stacy stayed in place and shook uncontrollably. Quinn turned around.

"NOW, STACY!!!!"

Startled, Stacy followed Quinn up the stairs.

**The nursery, less than a minute later...**

Chucky was crying in his crib. Quinn picked him up and held him. As she gently rocks the baby he calms down.

"Ooooo, You're so cute!" Quinn cooed, "Yes, you are. Here's your mommy."

Quinn handed the baby to Stacy, who just stared nervously.

"Go on, take him" Quinn urged.

"But...but..."

Stern, Quinn said "Now, Stacy!"

Stacy reluctantly took her baby in her arms. She started to rock him gently.

Quinn said "See, it's not so bad, is it?"

Stacy stared at her infant son. Suddenly, instead of a ball and chain Stacy saw an angelic baby face smiling at her. The baby giggled. Stacy's heart began to melt.

"He...he...he's the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

Stacy smiled and held her baby close.

"Ooooo, yes, little Chucky. Mommy loves you more than anything."

Seeing this, Quinn thought Finally!

Relieved, Stacy said "I just learned to love my baby."

Both women smile as the baby giggles.

* * *

 **Pizza Prince, afternoon...**  
 **Music:** "Shake It" by Metro Station

Daria and Quinn were seated across from each other in a booth. Quinn is telling Daria about what happened at Stacy's.

"...so now Stacy's gone from not liking her kid to not being able to let him out of her sight."

Daria said "So, her maternal instincts finally kicked in."

"Took long enough," said Quinn, "This is enough to make me think twice about having kids myself".

"So, you and Jim are still using birth control?" Daria asked.

Noccing, Quinn said "Daria, I'm not ready for kids yet. First, Jim and I have to get married. Once he pops the question I'll start to seriously think about it. But before I do it I insist on a walk down the aisle."

"At least you have a real plan," said Daria, "Mine involves avoiding the issue like the plague".

"You mean you never wanna have kids?"

"No, I'll be content corrupting any that you have."

Both sisters laughed.

Next, Quinn asked "Wouldn't it be weird if I had triplet sons who fight for my attention like the three J's used to?"

Daria said "Damn karma."

They have identical half smiles.

**End Episode.**

* * *

**Author's Notes**  
1) I remembered how Stacy cried when she was being tutored in "Is It Fall, Yet?" and she said her mother looked at her funny when she says something stupid. I decided it would explain a lot of her in-canon behavior if she did have an emotionally abusive mother.

  
2) Jamie's B-plot included a failed suicide attempt because this story takes place at a time when veteran suicides were making the news and I thought the issue had to be addressed.


	10. Identity Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeffy is released from the asylum, but is still obsessed with Quinn.

I didn't have time to convert this from script to prose. Sorry.

 **Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Identity Crisis"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**  
 **Scene 1**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Lawndale County Courthouse  
 **Int. Shot:** A Courtroom

Jeffy is at a table with his lawyer, a sleazy looking guy with slicked back hair. The judge, a balding fat man with a mustache, is presiding while Dr. Millepedis is in the witness stand. It is a mental competency hearing to determine whether Jeffy, after two years confinement in a psychiatric hospital, can now be safely re-integrated into society.

Dr. Millepedis: "When Mr. Mercer first entered my care he suffered from obssessive-compulsive disorder and delusional psychosis. His obsession was focused on one Quinn Morgendorffer, a young woman whom he had been stalking for years. Through tireless group and individual therapy I have been able to help him let go of his fixation and achieve a firm grasp on reality. He now only speaks of this woman when someone else mentions her to him and shows no sign of interest in pursuing her. Therefore, it is my professional opinion that he can be safely released from psychiatric care and I recommend that the court permit his immediate discharge."

Judge: "Approach the bench, Mr. Mercer."

Jeffy approaches and stands before the judge.

Judge: "Understand that if your release is allowed you are to have no contact with this Morgendorffer woman. You will be legally barred from communication by phone, e-mail, written correspondence and text message. You will also be required by law to maintain a minimum physical distance of no less than fifty yards from her person. Failure to abide by these requirements will result in an immediate warrant being issued for your arrest. Do you understand?"

Jeffy: "Yes, your honor."

Judge: "In that case, I rule to allow for the immediate discharge of Jeffery Mercer from psychiatric care."

The judge pounds his gavel.

Judge: "Case closed."

Cut to a short time later and Jeffy is standing outside of the courthouse. He is visibly happy to be a free man once again.

Jeffy: (Thought VO) _They bought it._

 **Scene 2**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment

Quinn and Jim are watching TV. Cut to the TV screen and we see a muscular man in a pink dress and high heels.

TV Announcer: "He wanted her and couldn't have her, so he became her. The Transvestite Romeo, next on Sick, Sad World!"

Cut to Quinn and Jim, both looking bemused.

Quinn: "God, where do they find these people?"

Jim: (deadpan) "They harvest them at the funny farm."

Quinn can't help laughing. There's a knock on the door.

Quinn: "I'll get it."

She gets up and opens the door. Two man in trench coats are standing there. One is a middle aged white man with gray hair. The other is a young black man with a mustache.

White man: "Are you Miss Quinn Morgendorffer?"

Quinn: "Yes."

The two men show Quinn their badges.

White man: "Detective Harris," (points to the black cop) "this is my partner, Detective Johnson. We're with the Lawndale Township Police Department. May we come in?"

Cut to a few minutes later. Quinn and Jim are at the kitchen table talking to the two detectives. They had some news.

Quinn: (visibly shocked) "What do you mean they let Jeffy out!?!"

Harris: "Exactly that, Miss Morgendorffer."

Johnson: "A judge ruled that he was now mentally fit to rejoin society."

Jim: (concerned) "He tried to kill us two years ago."

Harris: " Which is why it's our duty to inform you that he's now a free man."

Quinn: "I can't believe this. What if he comes after me again?"

Johnson: "I understand your concern, Miss Morgendorffer. He has a restraining order barring him from all contact with you. If he violates the order he gets a one-way ticket to jail."

Quinn: "Can't you guys do something?"

Harris: "I'm sorry, but unless he violates the order or does something illegal there's nothing we can do."

Quinn looks worried.

 **Scene 3**  
 **Ext. Shot:** A white brick two story house, evening  
 **Music:** "Obssession" by Animotion  
 **Int. Shot:** Jeffy's room

Jeffy is now living in his old room with his parents. The room has sports posters and football trophys everywhere. He is at his computer. Cut to his POV and we see a YouTube video.

Quinn: (On video) "And that's how you make fudge brownies. Just don't eat too many or you'll get, like, really fat. And why would a girl like me ever date a fat guy? Ewwwww! Next time I'll share my secret to ageless beauty. Don't forget to like and subscribe to "S'mores 'n' Pores". Byyyee."

Cut back to third person and we see Jeffy with a psychotic grin.

Jeffy: "Oh, Quinn! My heart aches for you. I want you, I need you. You're everything to me. We should be together forever. "

Jeffy closes his eyes. Cut to a dream sequence. Jeffy is a heroic knight on a trusty steed. We see him charging at another knight, Jim. They are jousting.

Jeffy: "I will have the princesses hand in marriage, Sir Jim."

Jim: "Dream on, loser."

Jeffy knocks Jim off of his horse. Jeffy dismounts and draws his sword. The two battle. Cut to Quinn as a fairy tale princess. She is smiling brightly. Cut back to the fight and we see Jeffy stab Jim through the heart. Jim falls down and is dead. Quinn rushes to Jeffy and kisses him.

Quinn: "My hero! I'm forever yours, Sir Jeffy."

Jeffy: "I'll grant your hearts every desire, Princess Quinn."

Quinn: "Could you get me a soda?"

Cut back to reality. Jeffy looks absolutely devastated.

Jeffy: (Thought VO) _I don't care what the judge says. I need her. I must have Quinn. It's meant to be. I'll find a way to make her love me and we'll be together forever. I WILL HAVE HER!!!!!!!_

Jeffy once again has a psychotic grin.

 **Scene 4**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Lawndale Mall, day  
 **Int. Shot:** The women's section of Cashmans

Sandi and Quinn are looking at outfits. Quinn is holding up a red evening dress with straps and a drooping v-line.

Sandi: "You have to buy that dress, Quinn. One look at you in that will have Jim eating out of the palm of your hand."

Quinn appears to be staring off into space, which Sandi notices.

Sandi: "Um, Earth to Quinn? Hello."

Quinn snaps out of her daydreaming.

Quinn: "Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind. I just can't stop worrying about Jeffy. What if he starts stalking me again? What if he's watching me right now?"

Sandi: "Quinn, you'll only drive yourself crazy thinking about that stuff. That's why I insisted we go shopping today. It'll take your mind off of things."

Quinn: "I know, but I can't help it. What if he's watching me right now?"

Sandi: "Quinn, don't be so paranoid. We aren't being watched."

Cut to a nearby section of the store and we see a man in a hoodie and sunglasses. Close up reveals it to be Jeffy.

Jeffy: (Thought VO) _My God! She's even more beautiful than I remember. I know I'm supposed to stay away but I can't. I see her everytime I close my eyes. I can't have her but I need her. I LOVE HER AND CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER!!_

Jeffy follows them at a discreet distance as Quinn and Stacy go to the cash register. The sales lady is Tiffany.

Sandi: "Hi, Tiffany. How was Vegas?"

Tiffany: "It...waaas...fuuunnn. The...slotssss...weerrreee....soooo...prettyyyy."

Quinn smiles and forgets all about Jeffy.

Quinn: "Did you win a lot of money?"

Tiffany: "Noooo...buuut...IIIII...got...marrrried."

Quinn and Sandi's jaws drop and their eyes go wide.

Quinn: "Tiffany!?!"

Sandi: "Married!?!"

Their shock doesn't even register.

Tiffany: "Iiiitttt...waaaassss...greeaaaaaaat...IIII...met...Elvissss...Heeeee...waaasssss...faaaat. Heee...performed...theee...ceerremooonny...Myy...hussbaand...isss....riiich."

Sandi and Quinn are speechless. Cut back to an eavesdropping Jeffy.

Jeffy: (Thought VO) _So, Tiffany got married in Vegas. I want to marry Quinn, but I can't. I can't have her._

Jeffy looks utterly devastated.

Jeffy: (Thought VO) _There has to be a way for me to be with Quinn. We should be together forever, but how?_

Jeffy seems to get an idea.

 **Scene 5**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Morgendorffer house, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Daria's room

Daria is relaxing on her bed and reading a book when her cell phone rings. She picks it up and answers it.

Daria: "Abandon hope, all ye who call here."

Split screen shows Quinn on the other end of the line.

Quinn: "Daria, you are not going to believe this."

Daria: "You're right, save your breath."

Quinn: (sounding hurt) "Daria!"

Daria: "Just kidding, Quinn. You know, old habits."

Quinn looks relieved.

Quinn: "Good one, sis."

Daria: "What's on your mind?"

Quinn: "You know that Jeffy was recently released from the mental hospital, right?"

Daria looks concerned.

Daria: "He's not stalking you again, is he?"

Quinn: "I haven't seen him. I keep worrying that he will, even though there's a restraining order against him. I was so worried about it that Sandi took me shopping today. You know, to take my mind off of things."

Daria: "All of which sounds like normal behavior to me. When do we get to the shocker?"

Quinn: "Tiffany works at Cashman's. We ran into her there. She just got back from a month long trip to Las Vegas."

Daria: "And?"

Quinn: "She's married."

Daria's eyes go wide.

Daria: "Who's the unlucky guy?"

Quinn: "I don't know. We're having dinner with them at Chez Pierre next weekend."

Daria: "Hopefully it's not Kevin."

Quinn gasps audibly. Daria smirks.

Daria: "Relax, Quinn. Polygamy is illegal in both Nevada and Maryland."

Daria looks at her watch.

Daria: "It's late, Quinn. I think I'll call it a night."

Quinn: "Goodnight, sis."

Daria: "Later."

Quinn's side of the screen disappears as they both hang up. Just then, Daria hears a strange noise coming from Quinn's old room. She gets up and walks there to find the door open and the lights on. She walks to the door and gasps. Cut to her POV and we see the back of someone who's obviously a man. He has long bright-red hair and is wearing a pink baby t-shirt and skintight jeans. He turns around and we see that it's Jeffy in a wig. He's holding a mini-skirt in one hand, a tank top in the other hand and is wearing makeup.

Jeffy: (high pitched voice) "Hey, Daria. Does this shirt match this skirt?"

Cut back to third person and we see a visibly stunned Daria.

Daria: " Jeffy, what are you doing in my sisters old room?"

Jeffy: "Daria, why are you acting so weird? It's me, Quinn."

Daria is too shocked to speak.

**End Act I**

**Act II**  
 **Scene 1**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Morgendorffer House, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Quinn's old room

Daria is standing there in wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock. Jeffey is in the room dressed as Quinn and claiming to be Quinn.

Jeffy: "Daria, are you okay?"

Daria shakes her head.

Daria: "I should ask you the same thing, Jeffy."

Jeffy: "Why do you keep calling me Jeffy? I'm Quinn, your sister."

Daria decides to play along.

Daria: "Alright, "Quinn", what are you doing here?"

Jeffy: "Duh, it's my room."

Daria: "You moved out of here almost eight years ago. You went to college in Boston, remember?"

Jeffy looks dumbfounded. Daria smirks.

Daria: (Thought VO) _Maybe I can snap him out of it with a reality check._ (Out loud) "Yes, and if you really are Quinn then you'd know that. You'd also know that after graduation you moved back to Lawndale after Dad suffered another heart attack. You have your own apartment."

Jeffy looks thoughtful.

Daria: (Thought VO) _God, I hope this works._

Jeffy has a look of sudden realization.

Jeffy: "Ohmygod!!! What am I doing here?"

Daria looks hopeful.

Jeffy: "I have to get home! Jim must be worried sick."

Daria looks VERY disappointed.

Jeffy: "Later, sis."

He leaves. Cut to Daria.

Daria: "Dammit!"

 **Scene 2**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment

Jim is petting Storm while Quinn is on the phone. Her eyes suddenly go wide.

Quinn: "WHAT!?!"

Split-screen reveals Daria on the other end of the line.

Daria: "I just caught Jeffy in your old room. He seems to think he's you. He's on his way over to your place."

Quinn: "I'm going to be sick."

Daria: "I'm sorry, Quinn. I tried to snap him back to reality by telling him things he wouldn't know about you but he just incorporated that information into his delusion. He's on his way to your place right now."

Quinn gasps.

Quinn: "What do I do?"

Daria: "I don't know. But, you need to think of something quick."

Quinn: "Thanks for the heads up, sis."

Daria's side of the split-screen disappears as they both hang up.

Jim: "What's going on?"

Quinn: "Daria just caught Jeffy in my old room, dressed as me?"

Jim's eyes go wide.

Jim: "heh...Ha...HA...HA...HA-HA-HA-HO-HO-HO-AHA-HA-HA..."

Quinn gives her boyfriend a death stare.

Quinn: "THAT'S NOT FUNNY, JIM!"

This snaps Jim out of his laughing fit.

Jim: "Sorry."

Quinn: "It get's worse. Apparently, Jeffy's convinced himself that he's me."

Jim can feel another laughing fit coming on until he gets another nasty look from his girlfriend.

Jim: "Sorry."

Quinn: " Jeffy's on his way here right now. What are we gonna do?"

Jim looks thoughtful. He gets an idea.

Jim: "You hide while I talk to him. If he thinks that he's you then there's no way of knowing how he'll react to seeing you. I'll try and get him to go away."

Quinn looks curious.

Quinn: "How?"

Jim: "He thinks that he's you, which means that he thinks that I'm his boyfriend. I'll just pretend to dump you and kick him out."

Quinn visibly has some reservations about this plan.

Quinn: "What if that doesn't work?"

Jim: "Then, we call the cops."

Quinn looks doubtful.

 **Scene 3**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening  
 **Music:** "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift  
 **Int. Shot:** The hallway at Quinn's door

Jeffy, still dressed as Quinn, knocks on the door. Jim answers. Upon seeing Jeffy he struggles not to have another laughing fit.

Jeffy: "Hi, babe. I'm home."

Jim plays along.

Jim: "Hi, Quinn."

Jeffy: "Won't you let me in, Jim?"

Jim puts on his best poker face.

Jim: "Um, Quinn, we need to talk." (Thought VO) _I just hope he doesn't know that the lease is in Quinn's name._

Jeffy looks concerned.

Jeffy: "Jim, honey, what's wrong? You look worried."

Jim: "Quinn, do you remember how we first became a live in couple?"

Jeffy: "Duh, Jim, you asked me to move in with you and I said yes. Your apartment became our apartment."

Jim: (Thought VO) _Good, he doesn't know that Quinn took me in after I came back from Japan and had nowhere else to go._ (Out loud) "Quinn, I don't think this is working out. I think we need to break up."

Jeffy looks devastated.

Jeffy: "Jim, no!"

Jim: "Yes, Quinn, I'm sorry. I've been thinking it over and decided this just isn't meant to be. I'll drop all of your stuff at your parents house in a few days. After that, I never want to see you again."

Jeffy's lower lip starts to tremble.

Jeffy: "B...But, I live here."

Jim: "Not anymore, you don't."

With that, Jim slams the door in Jeffy's face. Jeffy runs away, crying. Cut to inside the apartment. The real Quinn sticks her head through the bedroom door.

Jim: "He's gone."

visibly relieved, Quinn comes out.

Quinn: "Jim, what's going on?"

Jim: "It's just as I suspected. His treatment wasn't as complete as the doctors thought. He's accepted the fact that he can't have you but he isn't over you. He's coping by having another psychotic break where he becomes you."

Quinn: "Wouldn't seeing me snap him out of it?"

Jim: "That's a very bad idea. While he believes he's you he's essentially harmless. If that illusion is shattered he could become violent. That's why it needs to be maintained until he's in custody. He'll now most likely return to your parents house. I'm gonna call the cops, tell them what's going on and send them there. You call your parents, explain the situation, and tell them to play along until the police show up. This way Jeffy gets taken into custody and no one gets hurt."

Quinn suddenly has a knowing smile.

Quinn: "This was your plan all along, wasn't it?"

Jim nods. Quinn grins.

Quinn: "Clever boy."

 **Scene 4**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Morgendorffer house, evening

We see two police cruisers parked in front of the house.

 **Int. Shot:** The living room

We see a visibly nervous Jake, Helen and Daria talking to four police officers.

Jake: "I'll kill that psychopath, goddammit!"

Helen: "JAKE, YOU WON'T!"

This snaps Jake out of it. One of the cops looks at Helen questioningly.

Helen: "You'll have to excuse my husband, officer. He's a little too exciteable for his own good."

Daria looks at her watch.

Daria: "I wish he'd show up. I don't wanna miss Sick, Sad World."

Helen: "Now that you mention it, he should've been here long before now."

Cop: "Mrs. Morgendorffer, is there any place else your daughter would go under such circumstances? Maybe Mr. Mercer went there."

**Scene 5**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Chuck and Stacy's house, evening

Jeffy, still dressed as Quinn, walks up to the front door and rings the bell. Chuck answers and is visibly shocked beyond words.

Jeffy: "Upchuck, is Stacy home?"

Chuck: "Jeffy!! What are you doing here?"

Jeffy: "Why are you calling me Jeffy? I'm Quinn. Is Stacy here?"

Chuck is visibly confused.

Chuck: "What's going on?"

Jeffy: "Jim broke up with me."

Chuck clearly doesn't know how to respond.

Jeffy: "I came home and he told me he doesn't wanna see me anymore."

Chuck rolls his eyes.

Chuck: "Jeffy, I don't know why they let you out of the nuthouse, but you're not Quinn. Could you please go away? My wife and son are asleep."

Jeffy looks puzzled.

Jeffy: "I didn't know you and Stacy had a baby."

Chuck: "You would if you really were Quinn."

Jeffy: "Oh, yes, now I remember. How is the baby, anyway?"

Chuck gets an idea.

Chuck: "Tell me something, Quinn. Who's little Chucky's godmother?"

Jeffy thinks for a second.

Jeffy: "Tiffany, duh."

Chuck shakes his head.

Chuck: "If you really were Quinn then you'd know who the godmother is."

Jeffy: "I'm sorry, I forgot."

Chuck: "The real Quinn is Chucky's godmother. Think about it."

Jeffy looks very thoughtful.

Chuck: "Look, I don't have time for this. I'm going to close the door now and then I'm calling the cops."

Chuck slams the door in Jeffy's face. Jeffy looks distraught.

Jeffy: "I...I'm not Quinn. I'm not Quinn. I'M NOT QUINN!!!!"

Now enraged, Jeffy takes off the wig and the close. Rear shot of a now naked Jeffy running off into the night screaming.

Jeffy: "I'M NOT QUINN!!! I'M NOT QUINN!!!! ARRRGH!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRAGH!!!!! HAH!!!!! BURRRRR!!!!!! HEEEHEEEHEEE!!!!"

 **Scene 6**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Chez Pierre, evening  
 **Music:** "Disturbia" by Rihanna  
 **Int. Shot:** Chez Pierre

Jim and Quinn are seated at a table. Jim looks a little distraught.

Jim: "I can't believe it. Jeffy goes to Stacy instead of your parents."

Quinn: "It was still a solid plan, Jim."

Jim: "But I'm worried. What if what Chuck said to him shattered the illusion and made him violent?"

Quinn looks worried.

Quinn: "Look, we can't go looking over our shoulders. The police are looking for him, he's on the run, we have locks on our doors and you have a gun. We've done what we can. Let's just have a pleasant evening with Tiffany and her new husband."

Jim decides to let the situation go.

Jim: "I wonder what he's like."

Just then, Quinn spots Tiffany.

Quinn: "There they are."

Quinn waves them over. Suddenly, both her and Jim's jaws drop. Cut to Quinn's POV and we see Tiffany arm in arm with...Steve Taylor, Brittany's father. Except for gray hair along his temples he looks like he did on Daria.

Tiffany: "Iiii'ddd....liiiiikkkee...youuu...tooo...meet...myyy....husbannnd...Steveee...Taylor."

Cut back to third person. Quinn and Jim are stunned speechless.

**End Act II**

**Act III**  
 **Scene 1**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Chez Pierre, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Chez Pierre

Quinn and Jim are on a double date with Tiffany and her new husband. Her husband is Steve Taylor. Awkward doesn't even begin to cover this.

Quinn: "Mr. Taylor, I thought you were married to Ashley-Amber. What happened?"

Steve: "Got divorced. And, please, call me Steve."

Jim: "So this is marriage number...?"

Steve: "Three."

Quinn: "I hope I'm not getting too personal here, but what happened to Ashley-Amber?"

Steve: "Her looks were starting to go so I called it quits. Proposed to Tiffany here the day after the divorce was finalized."

Tiffany: "Issn't...heee...greaat?"

Jim and Quinn both look very uncomfortable.

Jim: "I think we're the ones in the looney bin."

Quinn looks at Tiffany with great concern.

Quinn: "Tiffany, could I talk to you in the ladies room?"

Tiffany: "Suurre."

Quinn turns to Jim.

Quinn: "We'll be back in a minute, hon."

With that, Quinn and Tiffany get up and head to the women's rest room.

 **Scene 2**  
 **Int. Shot:** The ladies room at Chez Pierre

Quinn and Tiffany are by the mirror. Quinn is trying to contain her disbelief while Tiffany touches up her makeup.

Quinn: "Tiffany, what the hell?"

Tiffany isn't even listening.

Tiffany: "Uh-huh."

Quinn: "You're not even listening to me right now, are you?"

Tiffany: "Uh-huh."

Quinn snatches Tiffany's mascara brush right out of her hand.

Tiffany: "Uhhhh...Why'd...youuu....dooo...thaat?"

Quinn: "Because we need to talk. You can touch up you're makeup afterwards."

Tiffany: "Ooookkkayyyyy."

Quinn: "Why the hell did you run off and marry Steve Taylor of all people?"

Tiffany: "Hee's...cuute...annd...richh."

Quinn: "He's also more than thirty years older than you."

Tiffany: "Buut...Jimm's...older...thaan...youuu."

Quinn: "He's only a year and a half older than me. Steve's old enough to be your father."

Tiffany: "Myyy...faather...Quinn...ewwwww!"

Quinn rolls her eyes.

Quinn: "What do you see in that guy?"

Tiffany: "I'mmm...nooot...intoo...inceest."

Quinn rolls her eyes. It's going to be a long night.

 **Scene 3**  
 **Int. Shot:** Chez Pierre's dinning room

While Quinn is in the bathroom with Tiffany, Steve is chatting with Jim.

Steve: "Yeah, Ashley-Amber was a hot piece of ass at one point but when her looks started to go I figured it was time to trade up. So I hooked up with Tiffany while prepairing to serve Ashley with divorce papers. Bitch tried to take me for a bundle in the divorce. Fortunately, she's so dumb that we were able to get her to take a modest sum."

Jim: (forced politeness) "Interesting approach to marriage."

Steve: "So, how long have you and Quinn been together?"

Jim: "It'll be four years this August. I'm curious, why Tiffany?"

Steve: "Because she's a total hottie. That and she was dumb enough to sign a pre-nup that forces her to walk away with nothing if the marriage ends. Also, she's a minx in the bedroom."

Jim rolls his eyes.

Jim: (Thought VO) _And all this time I thought Quinn was exaggerating when she told me what a sleazebag Brittany's father is._ (Out loud, sarcastic) "The foundation for any solid relationship."

The sarcasm flies over Steve's head.

Steve: "Damn right."

At this point, Quinn and Tiffany return to the table. Jim whispers in Quinn's ear.

Jim: "How'd it go?"

Quinn whispers back in Jim's ear.

Quinn: "Like talking to a brick wall."

Tiffany kisses Steve on the cheek.

Tiffany: "I...lovvvee...youuu."

Steve: "Likewise, jugs."

Tiffany blushes and smiles while Quinn shoots Steve a menacing look.

 **Scene 4**  
 **Ext. Shot:** The parking lot at Chez Pierre, evening  
 **Music:** "Funhouse" by Pink

We see Jeffy walking toward the restaurant. He is wearing a tight red mini-dress and high heels. He also has makeup on his face and a purse on his shoulder.

 **Int. Shot:** Chez Pierre

Jeffy walks right up to the hostess. The hostess, a black haired young woman, sees him and is visibly freaked out.

Hostess: (nervous) "C-can I help you?"

Jeffy: "I'm with the Carbone party. My name's Quinn Morgendorffer."

The hostess looks at her reservation list. Cut to her POV and we see "Carbone Party: J. Carbone, Q. Morgendorffer, S. Taylor and T. Taylor." Cut to third person and the hostess shrugs.

Hostess: (Thought VO) _To each their own, I guess._ (Out loud) "Follow me."

Cut to the table where Quinn, Jim, Steve and Tiffany are sitting. Jeffy and the hostess approach. Quinn and Jim both gasp in horror as he takes his seat.

Quinn: "Jeffy, what are you doing here?"

Jeffy looks offended.

Jeffy: "For your information, my name's Quinn Morgendorffer. Who are you?"

Quinn looks nervous. Jeffy still thinks that he's Quinn. She thinks fast.

Quinn: "Um...Erin Chambers."

Jeffy: (indignant) "And just what are you doing having dinner with my boyfriend?"

Jim buries his face in his hands and wishes he could just disappear. Cut to Steve and Tiffany looking very confused.

Tiffany: "Jeffy!?!"

Jeffy smiles.

Jeffy: "Hey, Tiffany. Don't you recognize me? I'm Quinn."

Tiffany: "Whaaaaat?"

Steve: "What the hell's going on here?"

Jeffy: "I'm here to win my ex-boyfriend back."

Cut to a mortified Quinn. She buries her face in her hands.

Quinn: (under her breath) "God, could this night get any worse?"

Jeffy turns his attention back to a nervous looking Jim.

Jeffy: "Jim, I love you. I want you back. Please."

Jim stands up. Jeffy also stands up.

Jim: "Look, "Quinn", it's over between us. Move on." (he points to the real Quinn) "I already have."

Jeffy looks hurt. Quinn stands up.

Quinn: "Look, "Quinn", Jim's with me now. You can find someone else. After all, you're Quinn Morgendorffer."

Jeffy smiles. He holds Jim in a hug. Jim is, understandably, freaked.

Jeffy: "I'll never forget you Jim, and..."(he whispers in Jim's ear)"...I know I'm not Quinn."

Jim immediately pulls away. Jeffy reaches into his purse. He pulls out a small .38 revolver.

Customer: "GUN!!"

Cut to slow motion. We see Jeffy aim the weapon at Quinn. Cut to Jim.

Jim: (slo mo) "Quuuiiiinnnnnn!!!!!"

In slow motion we see Jeffy pull the trigger, followed by Jim shoving Quinn out of the line of fire. We see the bullet strike Jim in the lower right portion of his rib cage. He falls to the floor and bleeds profusely. Return to real time and cut to a horrified Quinn.

Quinn: "JIM!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Off screen voice: "DROP THE GUN!"

We see a group of cops with their guns pointed at Jeffy. Jeffy looks at Quinn.

Jeffy: "I can't be with you, I can't become you and I can't live without you."

Jeffy puts the gun flush against his right temple and pulls the trigger. He falls to the floor, dead. Cut to a horrified Quinn. She looks away from Jeffy's body and toward Jim. She rushes to him and holds him.

Quinn: "Please, Jim, don't die."

Jim clutches his wound.

Jim: "Qu... _cough_...Quinn."

Tears form in Quinn's eyes.

Quinn: "I'm here, Jim. I'll never leave you."

An officer runs up.

Officer: (to Quinn) "Put pressure on that wound."

Quinn, determined not to let her boyfriend die, does as the cop says.

Officer: (into beeper) "Send an ambulance to Chez Pierre. Two gunshot victims, one is the gunman. Shooter is deceased from self-inflicted gunshot wound. Victim is gravely injured."

Jim slips out of consciousness as Quinn keeps pressure on the wound.

 **Scene 5**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Cedars of Lawndale  
 **Int. Shot:** A room in intensive care

Jim is laying unconscious in a hospital bed. His body is bandaged up. Quinn sits by his side. The expression on her face is a mix of shock and concern.

Quinn: "How? How could this happen?"

She holds Jim's hand.

**End Credits**

**Next Time**  
Quinn helps Jim recover from his injury.


	11. Nurse Quinn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn goes overboard in her efforts to nurse Jim back to health. Jim chafes under the restrictions.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Nurse Quinn"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**  
 **Scene 1**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Cedars of Lawndale, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Jim's hospital room

Jim lays unconscious in a hospital bed while a visibly sleep deprived Quinn, wearing the same outfit she wore that night at Chez Pierre, watches over him. Helen enters the room.

Helen: "Quinn, are you alright?"

Quinn: "As alright as I can be under the circumstances."

Helen: "How's Jim?"

Quinn: "They got the bullet out of him. Problem was that it ruptured a blood vessel. They were able to repair it, but he still lost a lot of blood. That's why he's in a coma. The doctor says he should come out of it soon if there aren't any problems. They took the tube out, so he's breathing on his own. That's a good sign."

Quinn looks at her injured boyfriend. Helen eyes her daughter with concern.

Helen: "Quinn, it's been three days. Have you eaten anything?"

Quinn: "How could I possibly eat at a time like this? My boyfriend is in a coma after taking a bullet that was meant for me. I can't eat or sleep and the only time I've taken my eyes off of Jim is when the doctor is working on him."

Before Helen can say anything...

Gina Carbone: (VO, offscreen) "MY GOD!!!"

Cut to the door and we see Jim's parents, Tony and Gina, standing there. Tony looks impassive while Gina looks mortified.

Gina: "Look what that animal did to my little boy! I want the one responsible to suffer, you hear me. I WANT HIM TO SUFFER! IO VOGLIO IL CAFON' IN INFERNO!!!"

( **Author's note:** That last phrase means "I want that piece of shit in hell".)

Tony: "If you wanna blame someone, babe, blame Quinn."

This gets Helen so riled up that she gets right in Tony's face.

Helen: "How dare you try to put this on my daughter!"

Tony: "He took a bullet for that little cunt so I'll blame Quinn if I want. If he'd taken a bullet for his country then I'd actually respect him."

Gina gives her husband a death stare.

Gina: (ominous tone) "Tony."

Tony immediately shuts up.

Gina: "Where's the _figlio della putana mostro_ who shot my boy?"

Quinn looks solemn.

Quinn: "Dead. After Jim took the bullet Jeffy saw the cops arrive. He turned the gun on himself and blew his own brains out."

Gina: "I hope he rots in Hell."

Quinn looks unsure as she doesn't know how she should feel about Jeffy at this point.

 **Scene 2**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Cedars of Lawndale, day  
 **Int. Shot:** Jim's hospital room

Jim is still in a coma and Quinn is still watching over him. Mack, Kevin and Brittany are visiting. Brittany gave birth to twin daughters in December of 2007 and is now pregnant with child number four.

Mack: "Who's watching the kids?"

Brittany: "Ultra is watching over Lisa and Angie."

Mack: "Ultra's only seven. Who's watching him?"

Brittany has a look of sudden realization.

Brittany: "MY BABY!!!!"

She immediately runs out of the room and straight for home. Cut to Quinn rolling her eyes. Of course they'd forget something that important. Cut to the unconscious Jim, who's face is pale. Cut to Kevin.

Kevin: "Dude, he looks like a vampire."

At this point, Jim slowly opens his eyes.

Jim: (weakly) "Wh...Where am I?"

Quinn's face light's up while Kevin immediately freaks out.

Quinn: "JIM!? You're awake!"

Kevin: "GAH!!! VAMPIRE!!"

Jim: (sarcastic) "Nice to see you too."

Kevin: "Are you, like, gonna try to drink my blood?"

Mack groans in frustration.

Mack: "Kevin, he's not a vampire."

Kevin: "Like, how can you be sure?"

Mack: "Well, the fact that the sun's shining through the window and he hasn't burst into flames is a pretty strong indication."

Kevin loooks relieved.

Kevin: "He's gonna burst into flames!? Cool."

Mack and Quinn both roll their eyes.

 **Scene 3**  
 **Int. Shot:** Jim's hospital room

Jim and Quinn are alone and talking.

Quinn: "Sorry about Kevin."

Jim: "Don't be. It was somewhat entertaining."

Quinn gently takes Jim's left hand in both of hers.

Quinn: "Honey, I was so worried. If you'd died I don't think I would've been able to deal."

Jim: "Well, I'm still alive."

Quinn: "How are you feeling?"

Jim: "Like shit. How long was I out?"

Quinn: "Almost four days. The bullet ruptured a major blood vessel. The doctor repaired it when he took the bullet out."

Jim looks relieved.

Quinn: "Why'd you do it? Take a bullet for me."

Jim: "Like I'm gonna let the woman I love get shot."

Quinn blushes as she realizes what a dumb question that was.

Quinn: "You lost a lot of blood. The paramedics said if I hadn't kept pressure on the wound until they arrived you would've died."

Jim: "So, you saved my life."

Quinn smiles.

Quinn: "After you saved mine. Also, I love you too much to let you die. Anyway, I'm gonna go to the vending machine. You want anything?"

Jim: "No thanks."

Quinn stands up.

Quinn: "I won't be long. After all, I caught some of the nurses checking you out."

Jim: "Yeah, I'm a regular Brad Pitt."

Quinn: "You are to me."

She kisses him on the cheek and leaves.

 **Scene 4**  
 **Int. Shot:** The hallway at the hospital

Quinn is at the vending machine getting a soda.

Quinn: (Thought VO) _Thank God Jim's gonna pull through. I was so worried. I don't know how to feel about Jeffy, though. After what happened part of me is glad that he's dead, but another part of me feels sorry for him._

Cut to the vending slot as a can of Diet Ultra Cola drops. Quinn picks it up. Cut back to Quinn. She opens the can and takes a sip.

Quinn: (Thought VO) _I can't help thinking that this is all my fault. If I hadn't strung Jeffy along all through high school then maybe he wouldn't have gone insane._

At this point, Quinn's thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice with a French accent.

Dr. Millipedis: (VO, off screen) "Miss Morgendorffer."

Quinn turns around. Cut to a shot of her facing Dr. Millipedis.

Quinn: "Jean-Felipe!?"

Dr. Millipedis: "I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what happened. How's Jim?"

Quinn: "He's awake now. He seems to be doing fine but he's still very weak."

Dr. Millipedis: "That's good. I don't want his death on my consience as well."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

Quinn: "What do you mean "as well"?"

Dr. Millipedis looks guilty.

Dr. Millipedis: "I was the one who'd recommended Jeffy's release from psychiatric care."

Quinn gasps.

Quinn: "You bastard."

Her face now contorts into a mask of pure rage.

Quinn: "YOU BASTARD!!!"

She punches him in the face so hard that he staggers back a few steps. She's about to hit him again when...

Dr. Millipedis: "I deserved that. It was the biggest oversight of my career. I really thought he had made enough progress to be safely re-integrated into society. It never once occured to me during our sessions that he was just telling me what I wanted to hear."

Quinn lowers her fist and visibly calms down. Frankly, she never thought Jeffy capable of manipulating a psychiatrist either.

Quinn: "I guess he pulled a fast one on all of us. To be honest, the ultimate blame is mine."

Dr. Millipedis goes straight into psychiatrist mode.

Dr. Millipedis: "What makes you say that?"

Quinn: "I led Jeffy on all through high school. I was pretty self-absorbed as a teenager and strung all the cute guys along because I loved the attention. Jeffy never got over me. He just became obssessed and went crazy. It's my fault any of this even happened."

Dr. Millipedis: "It's not your fault. While it was pretty selfish of you to do what you did in high school you had no way of knowing one of your admirers would take things too far and develop an obssession that would lead to a full psychotic break. No one is to blame. Mistakes were made that had unforeseen consequences. It happens."

Quinn visibly feels better.

Quinn: "Thanks."

Dr. Millipedis: "Can I see Jim?"

Quinn looks angry again.

Quinn: "Look, after what happened I really don't want you anywhere near my man."

Dr. Millipedis: "I understand. Tell him I'm sorry for what happened."

Quinn: "I will."

 **Scene 5**  
 **Int. Shot:** Jim's hospital room

Quinn is back at Jim's bedside having a soda and updating Jim on what happened during his four day coma.

Quinn: "...so I got Daria to dog sit Storm."

Jim: (sarcastic) "Your mother must love that."

Quinn: "Well, she never was one to tolerate animals. That's why we didn't have any pets while growing up."

Jim rolls his eyes.

Jim: "Quinn, I already know this. I have a gunshot wound, not amnesia."

Quinn nods in our direction, breaking the fourth wall. Jim nods in understanding. At this point a doctor enters the room. It's the same doctor who took care of Daria in "Ill".

Doctor: "How are you feeling, Mr. Carbone?"

Jim: "Well, I was shot by a psychotic guy who was obssessed with my girlfriend, spent four days in a coma due to the blood loss and Quinn just repeated a story she's told me a million times for no apparent reason..." (Jim winks at us) "...but aside from that I'm doing pretty good."

Doctor: "Well, you'll be happy to know that you can go home tomorrow. I'm here to discuss your in home care."

Jim raises an eyebrow.

Jim: "In home care?"

Doctor: "Yes. The bullet ruptured a blood vessel. The blood loss was what caused your coma. We were able to repair the rupture but you have to take it easy for the next four to six weeks. That's how long it'll take for the wound to completely heal. It's lucky that you're an otherwise healthy 28 year old male who doesn't smoke and only drinks in moderation. For now, though, no vigorous physical exercise, no sexual activity, no stress, no washing yourself, keep your posture straight at all times and don't walk up or down stairs."

Both Quinn and Jim frown when they hear this.

Quinn: "Our apartment's on the second floor of a building with no elevators."

Doctor: "Then, you have a problem."

Jim: "What about once, just to get home?"

The doctor shakes his head.

Doctor: "Disregarding these instructions, even once, could re-open the wound. Just be thankful it's only four weeks."

Quinn: "He can't wash himself?"

Doctor: "You'll have to tend to his personal hygene, and that includes wiping his ass for him. It's also important to keep the wound clean."

Quinn and Jim both frown. It's going to be a long four weeks.

**End Act I**

**Act II**  
 **Scene 1**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's bathroom

Jim is sitting in the bathtud. We only see him from the mid-section up. Quinn is beside the tub scrubbing Jim down with a sponge. His ribcage on the lower right side has stitches in it from where the doctor took the bullet out.

Jim: "Was it really necessary to have Kevin, Chuck and Mack haul me up here on a stretcher."

Quinn: "Jim, you heard the doctor. No walking up and down stairs."

Jim: "I would've been careful."

Quinn: "I'm not willing to risk it. Raise your left arm."

Jim does as she says. Quinn scrubs down his left side.

Jim: "Not that I don't appreciate this, Quinn, but you don't have to do everything. I can get the stuff in the front."

Quinn: "Sorry, but I'm not taking any chances."

Jim rolls his eyes. With a soaped up washcloth Quinn reaches toward his submerged privates.

Jim: "Quinn, as much as I love you touching me there in the bedroom I can get that myself."

Quinn: "Jim, don't be such a baby."

Cut to a close up of Jim's face. He looks mildly annoyed. Cut to when Quinn's done washing him. Jim gets out of the tub, but the shot of him is only from the waist up. Quinn approaches him with a towel.

Jim: "I'll towel myself off."

Quinn: (firm) "No you won't."

She starts to towel Jim off. Cut to when she's finished. The towel is now wrapped around Jim's waist, covering his nakedness. Quinn approaches him. She has a fresh washcloth in one hand and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in the other. Cut to Jim.

Jim: "Quinn, what's that for?"

Quinn: "To keep the wound disinfected, duh."

Jim: "You just bathed me, I can disinfect myself."

Quinn soakes the cloth in the peroxide.

Quinn: "Jim, you remember what the doctor said. Now hold still."

 **Ext. Shot:** The apartment building.

Jim: (VO from inside) "AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!! Damn, that stuff stings!"

 **Scene 2**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment building, morning  
 **Int. Shot:** The bedroom

Quinn is starting to wake up, but neither Jim or Storm are there.

Quinn: (sleepy)" 'Morning... _yawn_...Jim."

Quinn opens her eyes and notices that Jim's side of the bed is empty. She gasps. Cut to the kitchen. Jim is frying an egg.

Quinn: (VO, offscreen) "Jim, what the hell are you doing!?"

Jim is startled. He truns around as Quinn comes into view. Her expression is a mixture of disappointment and concern.

Jim: "I'm cooking breakfast."

Quinn: "Are you crazy? You'll reopen your wound."

Jim: "Quinn, I'm okay. I didn't wanna disturb you."

Quinn: "Jim, step away from the stove and get back to bed. I'll cook your breakfast."

Jim: "But, Quinn..."

Quinn points in the direction of the bedroom and her voice takes on a stern tone.

Quinn: "Now, young man!"

Jim: (sarcastic) "Yes, Mom."

Cut to the bedroom. Jim is back in bed when Quinn comes in with a tray. On it is the eggs and bacon that Jim had started to make. She places the tray in front of Jim.

Quinn: "Here you go, honey."

Jim looks a little guilty.

Jim: "Sorry I got snippy with you earlier. I'm just not used to being waited on hand and foot."

Quinn: "That's okay, babe."

Jim: "I have to admit, it's nice being served breakfast in bed. Thanks."

Quinn: "My pleasure."

Jim reaches for his fork and knife. Quinn immediately snatches them away.

Quinn: "Allow me."

She cuts the eggs for him. Jim instantly goes from grateful to annoyed.

Jim: "Quinn, you don't have to..."

Quinn: "I insist."

Now Jim looks even more annoyed. Quinn takes a forkful of egg and holds it to Jim's mouth.

Quinn: "Open wide."

Jim looks even more annoyed.

Jim: "Quinn, I can feed myself."

Quinn: "Not until you're fully recovered you can't."

Jim rolls his eyes. He isn't sure how much his ego can take.

 **Scene 3**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment, day  
 **Int. Shot:** The bedroom

Jim is on the phone while sitting up in bed.

Jim: "...she won't even let me feed myself. It's really annoying."

Split-screen reveals Mack on the other end of the line.

Mack: "You're actually complaining!? Most other guys would love being waited on hand and foot by their girlfriends."

Jim: "I do, but only to a certain point. Quinn refuses to let me do anything for myself. I can't wash myself, I can't dress myself, I can't feed myself, I can't shave myself. I like being served meals in bed and I don't mind not having to do my share of the housework, but everything else is just too much. I can't leave the apartment at all. If I have to use the toilet I wait until Quinn is running errands because she won't even let me wipe my own ass."

Mack now seems to understand where Jim's coming from.

Mack: "I get it. You're used to being self-reliant and now you can't and it's driving you crazy."

Jim: "Exactly. I get that she's doing all of this out of concern for my well being, but I can't stand feeling so damn helpless all the time."

Mack looks sympathetic.

 **Scene 4**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Food Lord, day  
 **Int. Shot:** Food Lord

Quinn is doing some grocery shopping. She rounds a corner and runs into Stacy. Little Chucky is in the baby seat of the shopping cart.

Stacy: "Hey, Quinn."

Quinn smiles brightly.

Quinn: "Hi, Stacy."

Quinn looks at little Chucky and starts rubbing his chin and making baby talk.

Quinn: "Hey, Chucky, cootchie-cootchie-cooo!"

The baby giggles when Quinn does that.

Stacy: "How's Jim?"

Quinn: "He's on the mend. I'm just doing some shopping. He still isn't allowed to leave the apartment."

Stacy: "How are you holding up?"

Quinn: "I'm still shaken up by what happened, but I can deal. I can't stop worrying about Jim. The doctor said I have to do everything for him, so that's what I've been doing. He's not even allowed to wash himself and I won't let him feed himself. I do it all for him."

Stacy: "Welcome to my world."

Quinn: "At least Chucky doesn't complain about not being allowed to do anything."

Stacy: "Try to understand where Jim's coming from. He's a grown man, not a one month old baby. Not being allowed to do anything for himself is probably a huge blow to his pride."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

Quinn: "Now that I think about it I have been a little overprotective. The doctor only said no vigorous physical exercise, no sexual activity, no stress, no washing himself, keep his posture straight at all times and don't walk up or down stairs but I've not been letting him feed, shave or even dress himself. Maybe I could give him some freedom. I'm just so worried. What if he reopens his wound and I can't save him. He could die."

Stacy: "I have all those same worries about Chucky."

Quinn: "How do you deal?"

Stacy: "By reminding myself that I'm doing a pretty good job so far and all worrying about all the what-if's will accomplish is that I drive myself crazy. I can't be a good mother if I let myself become a head case, at least that's what the psychiatrist tells me."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

Quinn: "You see a psychiatrist?"

Stacy: "She's been helping me with my post-partum issues. That pep talk you gave me was only a temporary fix."

 **Scene 5**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment building, day  
 **Int. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment

Quinn is putting the last of the groceries in the fridge.

Quinn: (Thought VO) _Now I'd better check on Jim._

Shot of the bathroom door. We hear the sound of a toilet flushing. This is followed by the sound of the sink running. Cut to a nervous looking Quinn.

Quinn: (Thought VO) _God, I hope it was number one!_

Jim emerges from the bathroom. He gasps. Cut to his POV and we see Quinn looking concerned. Cut back to third person.

Jim: "Quinn! You're back."

Quinn eyes him susipciously.

Quinn: "Was that number one or... _shudder_...number two?"

Jim: "Um...Well...Does it matter?"

Quinn: "Since you're not allowed to wipe yourself, yes."

Jim says nothing but looks like a kid who was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Quinn: (stern) "Answer me!"

Jim sighs.

Jim: (thought VO) _Busted._ (Out Loud) "Number two."

Quinn gets right in Jim's face.

Quinn: "Dammit, Jim, you know you're not allowed to wipe yourself!"

Jim: "Quinn, I'm fine. I wiped myself without re-opening the wound. See."

Jim raises his shirt. Close up reveals that the wound has not re-opened and is actually less apparent than when he got that first sponge bath. He lowers his shirt.

Quinn: "Jim, that's not the point. What if you had re-opened the wound? Even if we can't see it, you could've reopened the rupured blood vessel."

Jim rolls his eyes.

Jim: "I'm not bleeding internally."

Quinn folds her arms and channels her inner Helen.

Quinn: "Jim, let me see that wound."

Jim is visibly hesitant, which Quinn notices.

Quinn: "NOW, young man!"

Jim: "No."

Quinn: (menacing tone) "Excuse me!"

Jim: "I said no. I didn't re-open my wound. Take my word for it."

Quinn: "Dammit, Jim, I'm not doing this to be mean. I'm doing this because I'm worried about you."

Jim: "Quinn, it's great that you care about my well being and all, but this is too much. You won't let me do anything."

Quinn: "Because I'm afraid you'll hurt yourself."

Jim loses his patience.

Jim: "Dammit, Quin! I won't hurt myself shaving, feeding myself or dressing myself. This is..."

Just then, Jim clutches his ribcage. Cut to a now very worried Quinn.

Quinn: "Honey, are you alright!?"

Jim: "Chest...pain...call...911."

Quinn: "OHMYGOD!!!!!"

She runs to the phone and dials 911.

**End Act II**

**Act III**  
 **Scene 1**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Morgendorffer house, day  
 **Int. Shot:** Daria's room

Daria is listening to Quinn tell her about Jim's chest pain.

Quinn: "...but by the time the ambulence arrived the pain had stopped and Jim was fine. Turns out it was just a case of heartburn. I can't express how relieved I was."

Daria: "Just like with Grandma Ruth when Dad had his first heart attack."

Quinn: "What I don't get is why Jim's being like this. I'm only doing everything for his own good."

Daria: "Quinn, think about it, he feels helpless and that's a blow to his pride. You, of all people, know how guys think."

Quinn: "I see your point. I guess I should let him do the things he still can. I just can't help worrying. This is all my fault."

Daria raises an eyebrow.

Daria: "How is this your fault? You're not the one who shot him."

Quinn: "No, but that bullet was meant for me. Jim's injury and Jeffy's death are my fault. It's all my fault."

Daria: "Quinn, you didn't shoot Jim, Jeffy did. Jim took a bullet for you, but what would you have done if the situation was reversed?"

Quinn has a look of realization.

Quinn: "I would've done the same thing. But it's still my fault. If I hadn't strung Jeffy along all through high school he wouldn't have gone insane. He'd still be alive and Jim wouldn't be recovering from a gunshot wound."

Daria: "Quinn, none of this is your fault. You had no way of knowing Jeffy would become so obsessed with you that it'd drive him insane. You didn't kill Jeffy, Jeffy killed himself. You don't have any blood on your hands. Also, you need to have this conversation with Jim."

Quinn: "I will. I just wanted to get your perspective on this first. You always were the most sensible one in this family."

Daria half-smiles at the praise.

 **Scene 2**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening  
 **Int. Shot:** Quinn and Jim's apartment

Quinn and Jim are watching TV. Cut to the TV screen and we see a grown man in a bib and diaper with a pacifier in his mouth.

TV Announcer: "His wife wanted a baby, so he became one. I Married a Man-child, next on Sick, Sad World!"

Cut to Quinn and Jim on the couch while Storm is resting at their feet. Quinn is stifiling a giggle while Jim is visibly amused.

Jim: "It's ironic given my current situation."

Quinn: "Jim, about that. I think I was being over protective. I can't blame you for being short. I know you don't like feeling helpless."

Jim: "Quinn, if anyone owes an apology it's me. I should've been greatful that you're willing to do so much for me. I'm sorry I got mad. Truth is I wasn't as non-chalant as I was acting. When I had that chest pain I really was afraid I'd pushed myself too far."

Quinn: "Why were you being like that, anyway?"

Jim: "I didn't want you to worry about me."

Quinn: "Jim, I'm your girlfriend, more than likely future wife at this point. Worrying about you is part of the job. I mean, you did almost die."

Jim: "I know. I just couldn't accept feeling so weak."

Quinn: "Jim, you're recovering from a severe injury. I want to take care of you because, one: I love you, and two: you'd do the same for me."

Jim: "I understand why you went a little overboard. You were afraid I'd hurt myself."

Quinn: "I also feel a little guilty. If I hadn't led Jeffy along back in high school none of this would've happened."

Jim puts a reassuring hand on Quinn's shoulder.

Jim: "Hindsight's always 20/20. You had no way of knowing this would happen. I took that bullet because I love you and wanna protect you. Jeffy's death also isn't your fault. He killed himself."

Quinn: "How did you know that's what I was thinking?"

Jim: "We've been together almost four years now. There isn't much I don't know about you. Quinn, I won't disobey doctors orders again."

Quinn: "And I'll let you do the things you still can do, but I'm still taking care of you."

Jim: "I actually appreciate that. Also, I love you."

Quinn: "I love you, too."

They kiss.

 **Scene 3**  
 **Music:** Generic background music (because I couldn't think of a song that fits)

First, we see Quinn giving Jim another bath. He's enjoying it. Next, a shot of Quinn helping Jim dress by pulling his pants up for him while he puts on his own shirt. The next shot shows Quinn serving Jim dinner but letting him feed himself. After this is a shot of the bathroom door.

Quinn: (VO, through door) "EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"

Nest, we see Jim in the bathroom brushing his own teeth, followed by Quinn applying disinfectant to his wound. Final shot is Jim getting into bed and allowing Quinn to look at his wound in order to reassure her.

 **Scene 4**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Cedar's of Lawndale hospital, day  
 **Int. Shot:** An examination room

Jim is laying on an examination table while the doctor (same one as before) is liiking him over. Quinn is sitting in a nearby chair waiting anxiously. Close up of Jim's wound shows that the stitches have been removed. The doctor finiches.

Doctor: "Alright, you can put your shirt back on."

Jim gets off of the table, puts his shirt on and has a seat next to Quinn.

Quinn: "Well, how is he?"

Doctor: "He's going to be just fine. The injury is almost completely healed. You must've taken really good care of him."

Quinn smiles proudly.

Jim: "So, what now?"

Doctor: "You can now slowly increase your level of physical activity. You can walk up and down stairs, wash yourself. As for vigorous exercise, I'd hold off on that for another week or two just to be safe. As for sexual activity, mutual masturbation is okay but I recommend abstinance from anything more for another week or so."

Both Quinn and Jim are visibly relieved. The doctor looks at Jim.

Doctor: "Quinn took really good care of you. You're a lucky man, Jim."

Jim smiles while Quinn blushes.

 **Scene 5**  
 **Ext. Shot:** Pizza King, day  
 **Int. Shot:** Pizza King

Quinn and Stacy are having lunch. Chucky is next to Stacy in a baby carridge.

Quinn: "So it turns out that my care actually accelerated his recovery time."

Stacy: "I knew you could do it, Quinn. Why do you think I wanted you to be Chucky's godmother?"

Both women giggle.

Quinn: "Well, I'm glad Jim's gonna be okay. I was really worried about him. I'm especially glad that I can stop acting like his mom and start acting like his girlfriend again."

Stacy: "Why don't you and Jim have kids? It's obvious that you'd make a really good mom."

Quinn smiles at the compliment.

Quinn: "Thanks, but I'm not ready for kids just yet and neither is Jim. We aren't even married yet."

Stacy: "Frankly, it's only a matter of time. You and Jim act like a married couple already, have been for quite a while."

Quinn looks VERY thoughtful.

**End Episode**


	12. Fading Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grandma Barksdale is going senile.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Fading Memories"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**

Quinn Morgendorffer was running scared in a large cave with lakes of molten lava all around her. The screams of unbearable pain can be heard all around her. Her path was suddenly blocked by a red skinned monster with a pointed tail, bat wings and huge horns.

"Fallen one" Satan thundered, "I am your God now!"

Quinn responded with a blood-curdling scream.

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

She turned and ran away, only to have her path blocked by Jeffy. He has an evil grin on his face and his eyes are Sith-yellow.

"YOU!!! You killed me, you bitch!"

"I'm sorry!" said a panicked Quinn, "I didn't mean to."

Jeffy barked "Too late, you whore!"

Quinn turns and runs away. She crashes into demonic versions of Joey and Jeffy.

"You lied to us, bitch!" Joey hissed.

Jamie growled "You made us cater to your evey whim, you goddamn tease. Time to pay!"

Quinn ran from them.

"NO! This can't be happening!"

She then saw a demon verson of Daria. "It is happening, you selfish brat" said the demonic version of Quinn's sister. "I was lonely, I was bullied and misunderstood. I needed you and you shunned me you worthless little brat!"

"I'M SORRY!!!" Quinn screamed in a voice that was both frightened and guilt-ridden. Suddenly, multiple hands grab Quinn and shake her violently.

"Too late!" Daria barked, "You're beyond redemption."

The demon versions of the three J's held Quinn up.

"What should we do with her?" asked Jeffy.

"Let's torture her" said Joey.

Sadistically licking his lips, Jamie said "Yesssssssss! Torture!"

The demon Daria grinned. "Rape her! Fuck her every hole until it bleeds!"

"YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!" hissed the three J's in unison.

Quinn struggled against them. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

At this point, she heard Jim's disembodied voice.

"Quinn! Quinn, wake up!"

**Quinn and Jim's bedroom, at that very moment...**

A visibly worried Jim was trying to shake Quinn awake.

"Quinn, wake up!!!!"

Quinn's eyes open and she screams.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

In panic, Quinn's eyes nervously scan the room. She calms down as she realizes it was just a bad dream. She turns to Jim with tears in her eyes. She immediately throws her arms around Jim and crys.

"Quinn!?"

"Just... _sob_...hold me. Please."

Jim held his girlfriend. "It's alright. You're safe."

* * *

 **Halcyon Hills Office Park, the next day...**  
 **Music:** "She's Got Issues" by The Offspring

  
_Yeah-heah, yeah-heah_   
_Oh man, she's got issues and I'm gonna pay_

Quinn was sitting in a waiting room when one of the doors opened. A woman with brown hair and glasses steps out. Her name is Dr. Keller, psychiatrist.

"Miss Morgendorffer."

Quinn got up from her seat.

**Dr. Keller's office, a minute later...**

Quinn was seated in a chair across a coffee table from Dr. Keller.

"So, how have you been doing?" the psychiatrist asked.

Quinn said "I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed I was in Hell and a bunch of demons tried to rape me."

Dr. Keller said "Tell me about these demons."

Quinn explained "They looked like people I'd wronged in real life. They said I needed to be punished. One of them was Jeffy."

"You came here because you felt some guilt about Jeffy and what happened to him" Dr. Keller said matter-of-factly.

Quinn said "He became obsessed with me and tried to become me. He shot my boyfriend before turning the gun on himself and ending his own life. I can't shake the feeling that I'm responsible."

Dr. Keller said "You have a clear case of survivors guilt. Your reaction is pretty normal."

Frustrated, Quinn said "I just wish these feelings would go away."

Dr. Keller explained "In time, they will. Until then, it's important that you be open about it with the people in your life. Just remember, they may have forgiven you but you need to forgive yourself."

Quinn looked thoughtful. "What really puzzles me is that this didn't happen until I was done nursing Jim back to health."

"That's normal," said Keller, "A traumatic event usually doesn't affect you immediately because you're too focused on cleaning up the mess to dwell on it. It's later on, when you have time to actually think about it, that the mental scars start to show."

* * *

**Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were visiting for Sunday dinner. In addition to Quinn, Jim, Helen, Jake and Daria, Emma was also there.

Clearly in one of her judgmental moods, Emma said "So, Quinn, still living in sin, I see."

Quinn and Jim stared daggers at her.

"Mother" said Helen in a stern tone.

Emma backpedaled. "I apologize for that rude comment. I suppose I should be kinder to Jim. He did save Quinn's life, after all."

That made Quinn uncomfortable as it reminded her of a VERY unpleasant experience.

In an attempt to lessen the tension, Jake asked his mother in law "So, how are they treating you at Better Days?"

Rolling her eyes, Emma said "The staff is so condescending. They talk to me like I'm a small child. I'm Emma, of the most esteemed house of Barksdale. I have a fortune."

"You had a fortune, you mean" Daria corrected.

Emma seemed confused for a moment, then remembered how she lost all of her money in the financial meltdown. "Of course. I still can't recall all of those transactions I made over the years."

Helen looked a little curious. "I thought you were meticulous about that mother."

"I am young lady" replied Emma in a snippy tone.

Daria couldn't resist the urge to make a cutting remark. "Despite evidence otherwise. Denial is such a wonderful place."

Emma coldly looked at Daria. "Mind your manners." She doesn't strike Daria with her cane, but instead looks at her questioningly. "My apologies, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. My name is Emma Barksdale, and you are...?"

Everyone looked puzzled. Daria was slightly taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

Emma looked at Helen. "Helen, who is this woman? She looks familiar but I can't quite place her."

Shocked, Helen said "That's Daria, your granddaughter!"

Emma seemed genuinely surprised. "You and Jake have children!?"

Puzzled, Jake said "You know we have two daughters, Daria and Quinn."

Emma looked confused for a moment before a sudden look of realization crossed her face. "Oh, yes! I remember now. Sorry about that, Darla."

"It's Daria."

Emma looked confused once again. Everyone else looked concerned.

* * *

**Better Days Retirement Home, later that evening...**

Helen has just giving Emma a lift back to the home and they were now talking in Emma's suite.

Emma said "Thank you for driving me home, Amy."

Concerned, Helen asked "Mother, what's going on?"

"What do you mean, Helen?" Emma asked in turn.

Helen explained "A second ago you accidentally called me Amy. And at dinner you didn't recognize your own granddaughter. Is something going on?"

"Nothing you need concern yourself with," Emma reassured, "I've just been a little absent minded lately".

Not entirely convinced, Helen said "Mother, absent minded is misplacing your car keys. Forgetting your own grandchildren and confusing your daughters names is something else."

"I'm perfectly clear, Rita" Emma insisted.

Slightly put off, Helen said "You just called me Rita. Are you sure you're all right?"

Emma said "Helen, just because I mix up peoples names doesn't mean I have a problem. Let's change the subject, shall we? When are you and Jake going to have children?"

Now, Helen looks VERY concerned.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were watching TV. On the TV screen was a six year old boy being tazed by a teacher.

"It's the latest trend in classroom discipline. Tazing Tykes, next on Sick, Sad World!"

Quinn suddenly became uncomfortable. "Could you turn the TV off? This is making me uncomfortable."

Jim turned the TV off. "Anything on your mind?"

Quinn said "I don't think I should watch stuff like this for a while. Not until I get a better grip on my issues."

Jim understood. "Had any more bad dreams?"

Quinn said "Not since the one about going to Hell."

Jim reassured his girlfriend. "Quinn, what happened to Jeffy wasn't your fault. Neither was what happened to me."

Quinn said "I know, but I still feel guilty."

"I understand," said Jim, "I guess it takes time. I just want you to know that I love you and I'll be with you every step of the way."

Quinn kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, hon."

Changing the subject, Jim said "So, since TV's out, what are we gonna do now?"

Quinn smiled seductively. "Well, I'm kind of horny. Wanna have sex?"

Grinning, Jim said "You bet, babe."

Quinn climbed on Jim's lap. They kiss passionately and are about to take off each other's clothes when there's a pounding on the door.

"Tess, let me in. NOW!!"

Quinn immediately got off of Jim as he groaned in frustration. She immediately opens the door and Emma barges right in.

"Grandma Emma!?! What are you doing here?"

Emma got right in Quinn's face. "I am never speaking to you again, Tess."

Confused, Quinn said "Grandma, I'm Quinn. Great Aunt Tess died seventeen years ago."

Jim was puzzled. "Who?"

Emma said "Tess, my twin sister." She turned her attention back to Quinn. "Tess, you harlot, you always do this to me."

"Do what?" Quinn nervously asked.

Emma slapped Quinn. "You know perfectly well! Steal away my gentleman callers! I'll never be married at this rate!"

Patient and concerned, Quinn said "Grandma, I'm not your sister. I'm Quinn, your granddaughter. Remember?"

Emma said nothing but looked very confused.

* * *

**Act II**   
**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Emma was in Quinn and Jim's apartment. In a disturbing senior moment, Emma believes that Quinn is her deceased twin sister, Tess.

"What are you talking about, Tess?" Emma asked. "My granddaughter!? We're both still in high school."

Quinn said "Grandma, you graduated God knows when. What's with you?"

Emma asked "Why are you playing these games?"

Getting an idea, Jim looked at Emma and asked "Excuse me, but what year do you think it is?"

Raising an eyebrow, Emma said "Why, it's 1939 of course."

Jim thought Classic case of regression. Out loud, he said "No, it isn't. It's 2009. You need to snap back. You're reliving something that happened seventy years ago."

It was at that point that a cop entered the still open door. "Excuse me, but we got a call about a disturbance in the area. An elderly woman was roaming around screaming gibberish."

Turning to the cop, Quinn said "It's my grandmother. She seems really confused."

Emma walked right up to the cop and pointed her cane at Quinn. "Tell my sister to get out of the house."

The cop looked at the 87 year old Emma, then looked at the 26 year old Quinn. "With all due respect, ma'am, unless your mother was still bearing children in her eighties there's no way this woman is your sister. Can you tell me who she is?"

A sudden look of realization crossed Emma's face. "Of course, she's my granddaughter, Quinn." Emma then looked around and grew confused again. "How did I get here? Last thing I remember was I was watching TV in my room at better days."

The cop, Quinn and Jim all eyed Emma with grave concern.

* * *

 **Halycon Hills Office Park, a few days later...**  
 **Song:** "Beautiful Day" by U2

Quinn was in Dr. Keller's office having another session. The topic was what's going on with Emma.

"...so now my grandmother's being tested for Alzheimers."

Dr. Keller said "I see. How does that make you feel?"

Sounding a little guilty, Quinn admitted "I feel worried about her, but not as much as I probably should."

"Why do you say that?" asked Dr. Keller.

Quinn explained "A lot of the time I was growing up she and Mom weren't on the best of speaking terms. We didn't see as much of her as we probably would've otherwise."

"So, there's a certain level of estrangement between your mother and grandmother?"

Quinn nodded. "Yes, grandma Emma was always a difficult person. Mom believes she favored her sister over her."

Dr. Keller said "How old is your grandmother, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Let's see. She was born in 1922, so..." Quinn quickly does the math in her head, "...eighty-seven."

Dr. Keller said "If it is Alzheimers then she's probably been going downhill for a while now. Alzheimers symptoms usually appear in the victim's late sixties or early seventies. I'll use a famous example from recent history: Ronald Reagan. His Alzheimers was publicly disclosed in 1994, when it became impossible to hide anymore. He probably started showing symptoms during his first term as President."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

"Have you had any more nightmares?" asked Dr. Keller.

Quinn said "Not since the last one. I keep reminding myself that what happened wasn't my fault. I had no way of knowing Jeffy would lose his mind and wind up....like he did."

"But you still blame yourself?"

Quinn nodded. "I need to remind myself that I didn't know things would happen the way they did. Back in high school I never imagined one of the guys I strung along would go crazy. If I knew what would happen I would've definitly done things differently."

Dr. Keller said "You just need to remind yourself of that whenever these feelings of guilt come up. You did things you shouldn't have when you were younger, but everyone has. It doesn't make you a bad person."

Quinn looked thoughtful.

* * *

**Cedars of Lawndale, day...**

In a doctor's office Emma, accompanied by Helen and Rita, anxiously awaited the results of her tests.

"What if I am losing it?" asked Emma.

Rita said "Mother, let's not worry about that right now."

The doctor enters. He's a gray haired man in a lab coat. "Mrs. Barksdale, Miss Barksdale, Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'm Dr. Holtzer, head of neurology."

"How's our mother?" asked Helen.

Dr. Holtzer took a seat behind his desk. "Well, she shows impaired cognition in the tests and a diminished ability to retain information. The MRI and CT scans showed diminished activity in the memory center of her brain. To a degree where I imagine she's been in a state of mental decline for a very long time."

At this moment, Rita had a look of realization on her face. She proceeded to recall some things. "When Aunt Tess died she seemed absent minded. I thought it was just grief at first, but after a few years she started having moments where she seemed to space out. It was like the lights were on but no one was home. Remember Erin's wedding?"

Embarrassed, Helen said "I'll never forget it." No matter how hard I try.

"I remember that," said Emma, "It was such a lovely affair".

Rita said "Mom, you weren't there. The reason was that you were spacing out pretty badly at that time and didn't want to make a spectacle of yourself."

Emma looked thoughtful. "Of course, I remember now. I'm so sorry about that. But I got better."

"For a time," said Rita, "You still had the "episodes" but they happened less frequently".

Dr. Holtzer said "Not surprising. During the first decade of progression Alzheimers symptoms come and go. Brief periods of dementia seperated by long periods of seeming fine. These periods of clarity can stretch for years."

Rita explained "It's been happening a lot more frequently in recent years. I've been hiding it to spare Mom any embarrassment, but it's at a point where that's not possible anymore."

Emma's jaw dropped. "Rita, what are you saying?"

Dr. Holtzer said "Mrs. Barksdale, what your daughter just explained to me confirms what the tests indicate. You are in the middle stages of Alzheimers."

Emma gasped in horror.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Thanks For The Memories" by Fall Out Boy

Jim was scratching Storm behind the ears while Quinn was on the phone.

"Hey, Storm. Who's a good boy?"

Storm happily wagged his tail.

Meanwhile, on the phone Quinn said "Mom, I'm so sorry....I will...Bye". With that Quinn hung up and sat next to Jim.

"What's going on?" Jim asked.

Quinn said "Grandma Emma has Alzheimers".

Jim was immediately sympatheric. "Ouch! Quinn, I'm sorry."

"I wish there was something I could do" Quinn lamented.

Wanting to comfort his girlfriend but knowing that sugar coating would just set her up for a let down, Jim said "If this is Alzheimers then there's nothing anyone can do. Your grandmother's only gonna get worse."

"Will she die?"

There were a multitude of reasons Jim didn't want to answer that question. "Quinn, you really shouldn't think about that."

"Jim, I need to know" Quinn insisted.

Explaining his reluctance, Jim said "You've had a lot on your plate lately. I don't know if now's the best time."

Quinn was undeterred. "Jim, please. I can handle it."

Jim decided to just tell her the truth, despite his misgivings. "I'm no expert, but the way I understand it is that alzheimers does lead to death. The brain gradually shuts down until the person's a vegetable. Eventually, the brain forgets how to maintain life functions and this results in death. Of course, by then the patient has already long since checked out anyway."

"How long does she have?" asked Quinn.

Ignoring his discomfort, Jim said "It's hard to tell. She may only have a few years. I'm sorry. " Upon seeing the hurt and worried expression on Quinn's face Jim regretted being so honest. "I shouldn't have told you all that."

Quinn put a hand on Jim's shoulder. "It's okay, Jim" she reassured him. To further show her boyfriend that he did the right thing by being honest about Emma's diagnosis, Quinn said "Whatever happens, I still have you".

Jim kissed her on the forehead. "You always will."

* * *

**Better Days Retirement Home, day...**

Emma was watching TV in her suite when there's a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Quinn entered. Pleasantly surprised, Emma said "Why, Quinn, how are you?"

Quinn was visibly relieved to see that Emma is coherent. Taking a seat, she said "I'm good, Grandma Emma. I'm actually a little worried about you. How are you holding up?"

Emma said "Well, I am still dealing with the shock of an overdue Alzheimer's diagnosis. It's hard to accept that I'm losing my mind. I'm just glad that today is one of my good days."

"Me too, Grandma," Quinn admitted, "In fact, that's why I'm here".

Emma could detect the concern in Quinn's voice. "Quinn, what's wrong?"

Quinn said "Well, it's occured to me that we don't know each other as well as we should. This diagnosis has sort of brought home the fact that we won't have many more opportunities to bond. I'm sorry we all took you for granted."

"Don't be," said Emma, "I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. On my clear thinking days I've come to realize just how much I've done to drive your mother away. "

Quinn said "I don't know if you remember, but the other night when you showed up at my place you seemed to think I was Great Aunt Tess."

Trying not to let her embarrassment show, Emma said "Tess was my twin sister. We didn't have the best relationship growing up."

"I thought as much."

"Would you like to hear the story of how your grandfather and I met?" Emma asked.

Quinn smiled warmly. "I'd love to."

* * *

**Act III**   
**A two story house in Virginia Beach, 1939...**

A teenage girl was fixing her hair in front of the mirror. She's wearing a modest evening dress and is clearly getting ready for a date. She looks like Quinn but with a 1930's hairstyle. It's Emma when she was seventeen.

_It was my senior year of high school. I was going to the homecoming dance._

The teenage Emma smiled in anticipation of an evening with her gentleman caller (that's what they called boyfriends back then), a classmate named Arthur Morris. Suddenly, a voice similar to Quinn's but with a southern accent brought young Emma out of her thoughts.

"You ready for your big date?"

Standing in the doorway was a girl who also is the spitting image of Quinn. It's Tess, Emma's twin sister.

"Yes" said Emma. She immediately gave her sister the holier-than-thou treatment. "Maybe if you actually looked for a gentleman caller instead of just taking them to the backseat for fornication you'd have a date."

_I was a proper young lady while Tess...Let's just say she had a "reputation"._

"Don't be such a stuck up prude" said Tess with a dismissive wave.

Offended, Emma said "I'm no prude, but you let any man have you and it's embarrassing. If we didn't look so alike I'd claim to be an only child."

Tess became angry as their personality differences (and differing morals in all things sexual) were a constant source of tension. "I wish I was. Better than having a stuck up bitch like you for a sister."

"Tess, language!" said Emma in a school marm tone.

"Prude!" Tess shot back.

"Temptress!"

"Snob!"

"Harlot!"

They were about to come to blows when they heard the sound of their mother calling from downstairs.

"Emma, you're gentleman caller is here!"

Emma happily skipped out of the room. Tess stared daggers at her.

_I should've known Tess would try something after that argument. She never was one to let things go._

* * *

**Glennhaven High School (looks like Lawndale High), later that evening...**

_Later that evening I was at the dance with my boyfriend at the time, Arthur Morris_

A stage had been erected in the gym. On the stage was a big band playing jazz music under a banner that reads "Homecoming 1939". Out on the floor a teenage was Emma dancing with a young man who looks like Kevin. He's Arthur.

"This song is so lovely" Emma said.

"Not as lovely as you, Emma" replied Arthur with a charming smile.

Emma blushed.

_That's when SHE showed up._

Another couple danced by. The guy spoke to Arthur and Emma.

"Emma, your sister's here."

Looking at the refreshment table Emma saw Tess chatting up three guys who looked like 1930's versions of Joey, Jeffy and Jamie. Tess was wearing an evening gown that's quite revealing (by 1939 standards). It's strapless and shows ample cleavage. Emma was instantly worried.

Looking at Emma and Arthur, Tess could see that Arthur was turned on by her looks. Tess immediately put her plan into action. She had come with the intention of stealing Emma's boyfriend as payback for their argument. Tess sensuously walked up to Arthur and practically shoved Emma aside.

"I'm cutting in, sis." Extending a hand to Arthur and speaking in a seductive tone, Tess said "Arthur, may I have this dance".

Arthur was too turned on to say no. "Of course."

He begins to dance with Tess while Emma looks indignant. Emma went to the refreshment table and poured herself some punch. She looks pissed. _The nerve of her._

Then, Arthur and Tess kissed passionately. Seeing this, Emma was simultaneously heartbroken and pissed off. _That strumpet!!!_

_Quinn: (VO from 2009) Grandma, that's terrible!_

_2009 Emma: I was totally devastated, so I left._

* * *

**The parking lot at Glennhaven High, a short time later...**

Emma was sitting on the sidewalk and crying. A young man approached her.

"Excuse me, miss, but are you alright?"

Emma looked up and saw a smartly dressed man who appears to be in either his late teens or early twenties. He has short hair that's the same color as Helen's. He sits down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

Holding back tears, Emma said "M... _sniff_...My sister just stole my boyfriend."

The young man was immediately sympathetic. "I'm sorry. Why don't I do something to cheer you up?"

"Like what?" asked Emma.

Pointing, the young man said "Well, there's an ice cream parlor across the street. I'll pay."

_Something about him let me know that I could trust him. I can't explain it, but I've never regretted it._

Smiling, teenage Emma said "I'd like that".

The young man took her hand and helped her up. As he did so, he said "By the way, my name's Richard. Richard Barksdale."

Blushing slightly, Emma said "Emma Landry".

They walk arm-in-arm to the ice cream store.

* * *

**An ice cream shop called "Seaside Malt Shoppe", later...**

Richard and Emma were each having a sundae and talking. They are visibly enamored with each other.

It was love at first sight.

"So" said young Emma, "you're a student at Norfolk State?"

"Yup," said Richard, "I'm majoring in finance. After I graduate I'm going into the family business".

Emma asked "And what business is that?"

Richard said "My father owns a small bank in Norfolk. What about you? What are your plans for the future?"

"I had hoped to someday marry Arthur." Bitter, Emma added "Fat chance of that happening now".

Richard said "He was a jerk to jilt you for your sister. If I were your boyfriend I'd never do something like that."

Emma blushed and smiled.

**Landry house, later that evening...**

Richard was escorting Emma to the front door of her house.

"I had a pleasant evening, Richard."

"So did I, Emma." Smiling, Richard added "Who would've thought an evening stroll would lead me to a swell girl like you. "

Richard and Emma stare into each other's eyes. They lean in until, finally, they kiss.

* * *

**Emma's suite at Better Days, 2009...**

Emma was telling Quinn the story. "Your grandfather and I were practically inseperable after that night. After he finished college he joined the army because by then we'd entered World War II. He served in the European theater and was wounded at the Battle of the Bulge. He was sent home and medically discharged from the army. After the war we were married. He took over his father's bank just in time to profit from the post-war housing boom. That's how he made his entire fortune."

Quinn wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "That's so sweet, Grandma."

Emma had an epiphany in that moment. She'd been disdainful of Quinn cohabitating with her boyfriend. She'd been equally disdainful of the fact that Jim's background was blue-collar Italian-American rather than upper-class WASP. Now, she could admit Jim and Quinn weren't so different from her and Richard, or Jake and Helen for that matter. "You know, Quinn, the way you and Jim look at each other reminds me of how Richard and I used to look at each other. You two are going to always be together, I know it."

Quinn looked VERY thoughtful.

* * *

**Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim were seated together on the couch. She's just repeated Emma's story to Jim.

"That was a great story, Quinn."

"I know," said Quinn, "It made me glad that I decided to spend some quality time with Grandma today."

Quinn now looked serious.

"Jim?"

"Yes?"

Quinn said "About what happened with Jeffy. I've been thinking it over and this stuff with my grandmother put some things into perspective. Yes, I was a selfish brat as a teenager. If I'd known the ultimate consequences I would've done things differently. The fact is that what happened happened for a reason. I may never know what that reason is but I can't go through life hating myself for what happened in the past. I can go through life trying to be a better person. That's what I'm going to do. What happened to Jeffy was his own fault. After all, Joey went on to live a normal life and I'm sure Jamie will, too."

Reassurring, Jim said "Quinn, you did bad things because you didn't know any better. It doesn't make you a bad person. You're actually one of the most decent people I know. You're smart, kind hearted and always willing to help others. That's why I love you."

Quinn smiled. "I love you too."

With that, they kiss.

* * *

**The parking lot in front of Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that night...**

Jim unlocked and entered his Camaro. He reached into the glove box and pulled something out. That something was an engagement ring he'd bought during an all expenses paid trip to Europe two years earlier. He'd been saving it for the right time. Jim looked at the ring and had an epiphany of his own.

_It's the right time. I've never been more sure of anything. I just have to wait for a perfect moment._

Jim immediately got an idea.

_Our anniversary is in a few weeks. That's when I'll ask her to marry me._

**End Episode.**


	13. Love And Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Quinn spend a weekend at the beach while Helen becomes so fed up with her job that she's debating a career change.

**Opening Montage**  
 **Theme Song:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Jamie and Nicole. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

**Quinn**   
**in**   
**"Love And Other Regrets"**   
**story by**   
**WildDogJJ**

**Act I**   
**A street in Lawndale, evening...**

Jim's Camaro driving along the street. Inside, Jim was driving while Quinn's in the passenger seat. They're on their way home from a night out.

"Thanks for taking me to Cest La Ve, Jim" said Quinn.

Remembering the suicide/attempted murder, Jim said "Well, after what happened I figured you'd want someplace other than Chez Pierre. By the way, how are you doing with that?"

Quinn said "I'm not having nightmares anymore. I still feel bad about what happened, but it's getting easier to deal. I never wanna go to Chez Pierre again, though."

"No one does," said Jim, "Ever since the incident that place has been losing customers in droves".

They both now want to change the subject.

"Quinn, do you know what this coming weekend is?" asked Jim.

Quinn knew but decided to play dumb. In a playful tone, she said "Noooo. Tell me."

Jim said "Four years since our third date, the one where we became exclusive."

Quinn smiled. Jim always remembers these things. "Did you have anything special in mind?" she asked.

Smiling, Jim said "I booked us a hotel room in Ocean City. I figure since out third date was a beach date a weekend on the ocean four years later would be a perfect way to celebrate the anniversary of the day we became official".

Quinn smiled. "You always we're the sentimental type." She kissed him on the cheek. "Just one of the reasons I love you."

Jim smiled.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**  
 **Music:** "Poker Face" by Lady Ga Ga

Helen's Prius (she ditched the SUV long ago) pulled into the driveway. Helen stepped out and looked frustrated.

_It's getting harder to keep a neutral face around the other partners. They're such sleazebags that firing my associates would be an act of mercy if we weren't in a recession._

Helen walked in to the house.

**The kitchen, a minute later...**

Helen entered and was surprised to find Daria...cooking!?! "Daria, I thought it was your father's turn to cook."

Daria said "It is, but he wanted to make Kitchen Sink Stew. I immediately took over cooking duties for the sake of all of our stomachs."

"Where is your father, anyway?" asked Helen.

Daria said "I suggested he clean the garage as a distraction".

Just then they heard a crashing sound coming from the garage. This was followed by the sound of Jake's voice.

"GAHHH!!!! DAMMIT!!"

Rolling her eyes, Helen said "That figures".

Daria noticed the haggard tone in her mother's voice. "I take it you had another rough day at work."

After an exhausted sigh, Helen said "Is that ever an understatement. If we weren't in a recession I'd quit law entirely after firing all of my associates."

"I take it you consider that an act of mercy" said Daria in her usual deadpan.

Helen sighed again. "When I decided to pursue law it was because I believed I could make the world a better place. Instead, I'm just being part of the problem. Making partner was great for the first year. Since then I've just grown more disillusioned." After another well worn sigh, Helen said "My life sucks".

Daria replied "Life in general sucks, but the alternative sucks even worse".

Helen smiled as she remembered when Daria came to her during that whole love triangle with Jane and Tom. "I think we had a similar conversation ten years ago, only I was saying what you're saying." They really do grow up so fast.

Daria smiled.

"Well" said Helen, "I'd better see how your father's doing".

As Helen leaves Daria looks at her with obvious sympathy.

_You worked so hard for so long, and it was all for nothing._

At this point, Daria sniffed the air and smelled something burning. Turning her attention back to the stove she discovered that the chicken she was cooking is now black and smoking. "Dammit!"

* * *

**Lawndale Mall, the next day...**

Quinn and Nicole were at the beauty salon. While Nicole was having the purple streak in her hair redone Quinn was getting a haircut.

"So, a romantic weekend at the shore, huh?" said Nicole.

Quinn said "Yeah, the same place where we first decided to be exclusive. Thanks for dog sitting Storm."

Nicole said "No problem, Quinn. Besides, the therapist said having a dog around is a great way to calm Jamie's nerves. I also think of it as a dry run for when we have kids".

"Speaking of your husband," said Quinn, "How's he doing?"

"He's making good progress," said Nicole, "He isn't having waking flashbacks anymore. Either that or they're so minor that he can ignore them. His nightmare's are also becoming less frequent and less intense."

"Nicole, that's great!" said Quinn. At this point, something occurred to her. "Um...Nicole, I hope I'm not overstepping, but, well...um...about, you know...I guess I'm a little curious about...um...hoboy...uh..."

Knowing what Quinn's trying to ask, Nicole stifled a laugh. "Quinn, he lost his legs, not his dick." After a few giggles, Nicole went on. "A few positions are a no go until he learns how to stand and walk in his prostetics, but we still enjoy an active sex life. And no, his stumps and scars don't turn me off. The stumps are easy to ignore and I actually think the scars make him even sexier. Why?"

Quinn admitted "Well, since Jim and I are in for the long haul I figured I'd ask in case we ever find ourselves in a similar situation to you and Jamie. You know, adjusting to life with a physical handicap."

Grinning, Nicole said "Trust me, as long as his equipment works it's no problem". Nicole suddenly remembered her and Jamie's most recent lovemaking session. "Last night I..."

Quinn couldn't help blushing as Nicole proceeded to give her an NSFW account of the night before.

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Helen's office at Vitale, Horowitz, Davis, Riordin, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer...**

Helen was at her desk looking bored when Maryanne came in.

"What's my schedule today, Maryanne?"

Maryanne said "You have a meeting with that guy involved in the oil spill class action suite, lunch with the other partners, and then the casino executive to discuss his tax evasion case."

Helen groaned. First, the oil exec who won't spend money to safeguard against spills, then lunch with the scum of the earth, followed by helping a toupee wearing misogynist cheat on his taxes while he abuses his employees. I never thought I'd say this but I REALLY hate my job.

Maryanne noticed the distraught expression on Helen's face. "Is something wrong?"

"What do you really think of this firm?" Helen asked, "And, please, be honest".

Marryanne looked uncomfortable, which Helen noticed.

"Don't worry. I won't get angry or fire you if I don't like what I hear. I just want an honest opinion."

"You won't tell the other partners!?" Maryanne nervously asked.

"No" said Helen.

Maryanne took a deep breath to steel her nerves. "Well, to be honest, I find some of what we do to be...immoral. We help the richest one percent screw everyone else over a lot of the time. I actually like how you've gotten us to take a few pro-bono cases, but you seem to be the exception. Underhandedness seems to be the rule here."

"I actually agree with you" said Helen. After a regret filled sigh, she said "I wanted to be part of the solution when I first became a lawyer. I never dreamed that thirty years later I'd actually be part of the problem. As for immoral, you don't know the half of it."

Maryanne gave Helen a curious look. Seeing this, Helen said "If you knew what really goes on at the partner level you'd quit in disgust."

"Why don't you?" Maryanne asked candidly. "It sounds like you want to."

After another forlorn sigh, Helen explained why she's staying in a job that she's grown to hate. "Two reasons. One, we're in a recession. I have a better chance of winning Powerball than finding another job right now. Two, I signed a non competittion agreement with this place. I'd have to change careers if I left."

Maryanne was visibly sympathetic as it's obvious that Helen feels trapped.

* * *

**Ocean City, MD, day...**

Quinn and Jim were staying in a hotel called The Seaside Inn. They'd just checked in and were now checking out their hotel room. The room is small with a nautical decor and a single bed. Jim was wearing a T-short and board shorts. While Quinn was using the bathroom Jim sat on the side of the bed and looked at the ring he bought. It was a 24-karat gold band with a tiffany-cut diamond. The word 'always' was engraved on the band.

_I just have to wait for the right moment._

At this point the bathroom door opened. Jim immediately put the ring in a nightstand.

"Ready to go, honey?" asked Quinn as she emerged.

Jim glanced in her direction and was immediately turned on by what he saw. Quinn was in a blue string bikini that leaves little to the imagination. She had a transparent pink sash tied around her waist.

Impressed, Jim asked "Damn, where have you been hiding that sexy little number?"

Quinn smiled seductively. "You like it?" She did a turn around. The top was so skimpy Jim had to wonder how his girlfriend kept her boobs from popping out and the bottom, while not a thong, was skimpy enough that if Quinn hadn't recently gotten a Brazillian wax one would be able to see her...ahem...other hair. "I figured you would. I've been saving it for this occassion. After all, I love being sexy for my man."

Hoping she didn't see the growing bulge in his shorts, Jim said "You could wear an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants and I'd still find you sexy".

"I know, buut..." Quinn's voice took on a very sultry tone. "...this is a lot less for you to take off later."

Jim was now so turned on he needed a few minutes in the bathroom before they headed out.

* * *

**Act II**  
 **The beach at Ocean City, day...**  
 **Music:** "Right Round" by Flo Rida

Quinn and Jim were lounging on a beach towel. Quinn has removed the pink sash and Jim is no longer wearing a t-shirt. Some guys walk by and are checking Quinn out before eyeing Jim with envy.

After looking first at Quinn, then Jim, one guy muttered under his breath "Dude must be rich".

Jim overheard that remark. He turns to Quinn. "Hey, Quinn, those guys who were checking you out think I'm rich." Quinn stared daggers at the guys, which Jim noticed. "Relax, Quinn. I think it's flattering."

"I don't" said Quinn. "I used to, but now it upsets me to hear comments like that."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "How come?"

Quinn said "Because it means that people assume I'm a shallow gold digger just because I'm beautiful".

Jim jokingly asked "Did you and Daria undergo a brain transplant recently?"

Quinn blushed. "I did sound like her just now, didn't I?"

Just then a young couple approached. The woman was a blonde in her early twenties in a skimpy purple bikini while the man was a twentysomething guy in blue board shorts with huge muscles and gelled spikes in his brown hair.

"Dude!" the guy said to Jim in recognition, "Are you Jim the Car Guy?"

Jim nodded.

The guy said "My name's Mike. I'm a fan of your channel."

Flattered, Jim shook hands with Mike. "Pleased to meet you."

The girl was just as starstruck by Quinn. "OHMYGOD!!!! You're the "S'mores 'n' Pores" girl. I'm, like, your biggest fan. My name's Paula."

Quinn and Paula shake hands. "Nice to meet you" said Quinn. Noting the girl's sking tone, she said "Nice tan".

"Thanks!" Paula excitedly said. "I got it from one of your videos, the one where you showed how after making macaroons the leftover coconut oil can be used as a bronzer."

Quinn was visibly flattered.

To Jim, Mike said "Jim, thanks to you I know how to change my own oil. Beats getting ripped off by a mechanic."

Holding up her cell phone, Paula asked "Can we take a picture with you guys?"

Quinn and Jim smiled. They were struggling to make ends meet a few months before. Now, they're famous. God bless the internet.

* * *

**Meeting Room at Law Offices of Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordin, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer...**

The partners were having a meeting. The most senior partner is Jim Vitale, a blading man in his sixties with gray hair and a slight beer gut. Chuck Davis is also a sixty something with a very obvious toupee. Michael Horowitz has curly red hair, buck teeth and thick-rimmed glasses. Harvey Riordin is a fifty-something with slicked back gray hair who never takes his sunglasses off in order to hide the fact that he's cocked up all the time. The other three Schrecter brothers look like older versions of Eric. Eric has yet to arrive and Helen looks like she'd rather be anywhere but there. Suddenly, a dishelved Eric entered.

"Sorry I'm late." Grinning lecherously, Eric added "That hot intern just can't get enough of me".

Harvey said "You were getting laid. No need to apologize for that."

Davis added "I wish I could still get a hot piece of ass like that".

The guys all high fived while Helen didn't know whether to vomit or strangle Eric.

_Misygonistic pigs!_

Eric took his seat. Vitale has a huge grin on his face. Seeing this, Helen frowns with dread because she knows she's about to hear something she'll find highly offensive.

"Why do women have breasts?" Vitale asked. After a brief pause for effect, he said "So us guys have something to look at while they're talking!"

The other guys burst into loud laughter while Helen was so offended that she can't keep silent anymore.

"With all due respect, Mr. Vitale" said Helen, "I find that joke crude and offensive".

Eric stared daggers at Helen. In a sarcastic tone, he snipped "Well, looks like someones having that time of the month".

Helen wanted to slap him, but the look on Eric's face made her think better of it. _He wants me to slap him so he can sue me for assault_. Helen lowers her hand and silently simmers with rage.

Vitale, meanwhile, turned to Harvey Riordin and got right to business. "Harvey, how's that lawsuit against the domestic violence shelter going?"

Grinning triumphantly, Riordin said "The judge awarded our client one-hundred million. We get ten mil in addition to the legal fees. Granted, those women now have to go back to their abusers. But hey, money's money."

The other guys nodded in agreement. Helen, on the other hand, felt so guilty for her role in forcing domestic violence victims back to their abusers that she frowned. _What have I become?_

* * *

**An outdoor cafe called "Crab Shack", evening...**

Still in their beach wear, Quinn and Jim were enjoying a seafood dinner.

Beaming, Quinn said "I can't believe we actually met some fans of ours today".

"I know," said Jim, "It was almost surreal. You don't think they were too disappointed, do you? I mean, we were acting like ourselves."

Quinn said "I think they were smart enough to know that my shallow girl persona and your macho persona are just an act. What do you wanna do after dinner?"

"We could go back to the hotel, change clothes and go clubbing" Jim suggested.

Quinn said "Since everything's within walking distance we could bar hop".

"That could work" said Jim in agreement. After this, he looked serious. "Quinn, what do you think of us?"

"What do you mean?" asked Quinn.

Jim said "Ten years ago I never thought I could get a girl like you. Granted, I know better now, but part of me still can't believe my luck."

Slightly embarrassed as she remembered what she was like back then, Quinn said "To be honest, Jim, if we met in high school you probably wouldn't have liked me very much. I was pretty stuck up back then."

"Yeah, but no girl is the same person at 26 that she was at 16."

Quinn blushed. "Thanks. Even after four years you still make me feel special."

Smiling, Jim said "Because you are".

Quinn blushed even more. "Jim, to be honest, if I'd met you in high school I probably would've been attracted to you. But I never would've publicly admitted it due to peer pressure. I've seen your old yearbook picture."

Jim said "You would've found me repulsive in middle school, but everyone did. Of course, by highschool I'd lost the weight and the acne cleared up". Sighing, he added "Not that it mattered. I'd already been labeled loser for life. I think that's why after graduation I left and never went back."

Quinn said "You still embody everything I've ever wanted in a guy".

"And you embody everything I've ever wanted in a woman" Jim replied with a smile. His old insecurities always seemed to disappear when Quinn said things like that.

They look at each other. Quinn gets an idea. "How about after dinner we just take a romantic stroll along the boardwalk?"

"Works for me."

Quinn then flashed a naughty smile and spoke in a sexually suggestive tone. "And after that..." Under the table she ran her foot up and down Jim's leg in a provocative manner. "...we could have some really hot vacation sex."

"I love the sound of that" said Jim with a sly grin.

* * *

**Das Morgendorffer Haus, evening...**

Jake, Helen and Daria were sitting at the kitchen table having (big surprise) microwave lasagna.

"So, how was everyone's day?" Helen asked.

A very excited Jake immediately spoke up. "I finally did it!" he beamed, "I finally solved that Rubik's Cube".

"And it only took you twenty-seven years" Daria deadpanned without missing a beat.

"I know!" said Jake. "It helps when you have more free time because your business went under." His excitement rapidly gives way to feelings of anger and resentment. "A constant reminder that I'm a failure. A failure, just like my old man always said I was!"

Helen and Daria frowned as they knew where this was going.

Growing more enraged with each word, Jake ranted "Oh, he just always had to tell me I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH! IF THAT MISERABLE OLD BASTARD WAS STILL ALIVE HE'D SPEND EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY GODDAMN DAY TELLING ME WHAT A USELESS LITTLE SHIT I AM!!! "YOU'LL NEVER BE A MAN, JAKE." "YOU'RE JUST A SISSY LITTLE GIRL, JAKE." "STAND AND F@#$ING ATTENTION, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT." Jake looked at the floor and shook his fist. "HAPPY NOW, MAD DOG!?! YOU WERE RIGHT!!!"

In an effort to calm him down before he gives himself another heart attack, Daria hands Jake a pamphlet. "Look, Dad. A survey about male potency."

Jake's expression brightens as he takes the pamphlet. "Neato!"

With her husband no defused, Helen asked "Daria, how was your day?"

Daria said "Well, I got rejection letters from all the places I sent a resume to, my Monster account has had zero hits, and I was even told that Cluster Burger's not hiring when I asked for an application. So, I had a pretty typical day. How about you?"

Helen, in a deadpan that rivals Daria's, said "Well, I spent the day listening to the other partners tell sexist jokes when they weren't bragging about putting battered women and children on the street with a frivolous lawsuit, so I had a pretty typical day too."

Daria was both impressed and concerned. Impressed by her mother's deadpan, concerned by the fact that Helen's conscience is weighing on her more and more. "Are you alright, Mom?"

Helen slumped her shoulders and sighed. "No. The more I learn about how the firm really works, the more disgusted I become. At this point, the bad economy is my only reason to stay on. My dream of breaking the glass ceiling has turned into a nightmare."

Sympathetic, Daria said "If it's any consolation, Mom, my dream never came true either. I fully expected to either be a published author or Lit professor by now. I never imagined I'd come out of grad school entering a job market so tight that my only option is long term unemployment and moving back in with my parents."

They exchanged understanding looks.

Helen said "Looks like we're in good company with each other. We're both trapped in a lousy situation with no way out."

"At least it's only temporary" said Daria. "This recession can't last forever." After a brief pause, she added "I hope".

* * *

 **Ocean City, later that evening...**  
 **Music:** "I Got A Felling" by The Black Eyed Peas

Quinn and Jim were back in the hotel having sex.

"Ugh...ugh...ah...oh..."

"AH...AH...OH...JIM...YES...YESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!"

Then, their voices became one as they experienced a mutual orgasm.

"AAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh! huh!"

After the climax Quinn and Jim were sweaty and satisfied. Holding each other close they took a few seconds to catch their breath while basking in the afterglow.

"That... _pant_...was... _pant_...incredable!" said Quinn.

Jim agreed. "I forgot how hot vacation sex actually is."

Remembering that they were at the stage in their relationship where condoms are no longer necessary, Quinn said "Thank God for the pill".

"I could get used to this" said Jim. "So, enjoying our anniversary so far?"

Quinn grinned seductively. "Like you even have to ask." They kissed. After the kiss, Quinn said "I can't believe it, but even after a mind blowing orgasm like that I'm still horny."

"Me too" said Jim as he stroked his girlfriend's hair, "But, then again, I'm a guy. We're always horny".

Quinn laughed as it's both funny and true.

Jim said "You know, technically our anniversary is tomorrow".

Quinn seductively ran her finger up and down Jim's bare chest. "You have anything special in mind?"

A marriage proposal Jim thought. Out loud, he said "It's a surprise".

In a sultry tone, Quinn said "Ooooo, I love surprises. In the mean time..." Her hand slid down his body until she grabbed ahold of...something. "...let's see if I can get you up for another round."

Jim smiled. It was going to be one hell of a night.

* * *

**Act III**   
**A diner in Ocean City called "Oceanview Diner", morning...**

Quinn and Jim were seated at a booth having coffee. A waitress came up to them.

"Can I take your order?"

Quinn and Jim exchanged playful smiles. Pointing to Quinn, Jim said "She'll have a fruit cup".

"And you, sir?" asked the waitress.

Just as Jim had ordered for Quinn, Quinn ordered for Jim. "He'll have over easy eggs and bacon."

Now, the waitress raised an eyebrow. "Do you two always order for each other?"

"That's how well we no each other" Jim bragged. "She's something of a health nut."

"And he only ever eats eggs and bacon for breakfast" added Quinn.

"How cute" the waitress replied in a very insincere tone.

After the waitress left, Quinn asked "So, when do I get this anniversary surprise?"

"This evening" Jim answered.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Now, that would be telling" said Jim in a playful tone.

Quinn was equally playful in her response. "Can't blame a girl for trying."

They smiled at each other.

* * *

 **The boardwalk, later...**  
 **Music:** "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift

Quinn and Jim were walking and talking. Quinn is telling Jim a story from her high school days.

"...so Brittany's bratty little brother ran by me and caused me to spill my drink all over the crotch of my jeans."

Jim snickered. "I know what that must've looked like."

Quinn said "Sandi added to my embarrassment by mentioning that at the time. When I tried to clean up the stain I accidently sat on the band's mixing board and that caused the trophy Mr. Taylor made for Brittany to shatter. I was really distraught after that."

"So, what got you off that guardian angel kick?" asked Jim.

Quinn said "A pep talk from Daria, which was kind of weird since pep is not a word you'd use to describe her then..." Quinn paused for a moment. "...or now."

They both laughed.

"Speaking of memories" said Jim, "remember when that Jessica woman tried to steal me from you?"

Quinn said "I was so pround that you resisted her charms. Whatever happened to her anyway?"

Jim explained "Her failde attempt to seduce me made things so awkward between us that she quit a few days later. Last I heard she hooked up with a married guy."

Quinn couldn't help giggling at the irony. "A natural born homewrecker."

They laughed. After the laughter, Quinn said "I knew it was love when you came back from Japan to be with me, even though I was about to go there to be with you. You resisting Jessica just confirmed it that much more. Also, I know feet gross you out but that doesn't stop you from massaging mine every time I ask."

Recalling the Chez Pierre incident, Jim said "Well, you literally handled my shit when I was recovering from that gunshot so I think we're even on the grossing each other out end of things."

Quinn said "Yeah, but still...Ewww!"

They both laughed again.

* * *

**Helen's office at Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordin, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer...**

Helen was seated at her desk looking down. She was doing some sould searching.

_When did it all go wrong? I was an idealistic hippie when it all started. Jake and I left that commune because we wanted to change the system from within. But Sunflower was right, we didn't change the system, it changed us. I went into law because I wanted to help people. Oh, I helped alright. I helped corporations cheat on their taxes, people guilty as sin get off scot free and domestic violence victims get sent back to their abusers. I wanted to change the world for the better, but it was all a lie._

Helen sighed.

_First, those ignorant rednecks I worked for in Highland. I only stuck with them as long as I did because I had a family to provide for and Jake's paycheck couldn't be stretched far enough to cover the lifestyle we'd grown accustomed to by then. Finally, after almos two decades, I look for a job elsewhere and find this place. They promised a fast review for partner because of all my experience. That turned out to just be a hook they used to string me along._

Helen smiled.

_Still, I did eventually make partner._

She frowned again.

_After threatening a gender discrimination suit._

Her wallowing in self pity was then interrupted by the buzz of her intercom. Helen pressed the talk button.

"Yes?"

Over the intercom, Maryanne said "Your eleven o'clock is here".

"Send her in".

A few seconds later, a woman with blonde hair who appears to be in her thirties enters. Her beauty was marred by a black eye.

"I'm Angela Carson."

"Helen Morgendorffer. Please, have a seat."

Angela sat down. "I want to sue my boyfriend for assault. He's been abusing me for years and I've had enough."

"I can help you," said Helen, "You came to the right place".

Uncertain, Angela said "Before I tell you everything, I need to let you know that I'm not sure I can pay my legal fees."

Helen smiled as she waived off the concern. "Considering what's going on, I'd be happy to take your case pro bono."

Relieved, Angela said "Thanks".

Also relieved, Helen thought _I may be surrounded by morally bankrupt parasites, but I can at least do the right thing here._

* * *

 **Musical Montage**  
 **Music:** "Space Age Love Song" by A Flock Of Seagulls

We first see Quinn and Jim having a picnic on the beach. This is followed by them playing a game oof darts on the boardwalk. Jim wins a large teddy bear that he immediately gives to Quinn. Next shot is three guys surfing. Quinn walks by and it distracts them so much that they all wipe out. Next, Jim and Quinn are playfully splashing each other in the water. Next, we see Quinn and Jim running along the shore holding hands and smiling. They fall into the shallow water. Cut to Jim's POV and we see Quinn smiling lovingly at him. Cut to Quinn's POV and we see Jim smile back. Cut to third person and we see them kiss. Next, we see Quinn and Jim riding the farris wheel on the pier. They are visibly having a good time. This is followed by a shot of them at a t-shirt shop asking the clerk for a custom design. Cut to them walking outside with the new t-shirts. Quinn's has a heart that says "Quinn and Jim 4ever" while Jim's has an arrow pointing to Quinn and reads "I'm with Her". Next, we see them posing for a caricature artist. He gives them the protrait. We see it showing caricatures of Quinn and Jim staring lovingly at each other under a caption that reads "Forever". Montage ends with a panoramic shot of the town with a beautiflu sunset in the background.

* * *

**The boardwalk, evening...**

It's a beautiful evening with a full moon. Quinn and Jim were standing at the edge admiring the view.

Quinn asked "Jim, when do I get my surprise?"

Jim said "First, tell me if you recall a similar scenario to this."

Quinn gasped in realization. "We were looking out on a beach like this when we decided to go steady!"

"Exactly four years ago today" said Jim.

Quinn was visibly impressed.

Facing his girlfriend, Jim said "Quinn, I love you. I always have loved you and always will love you. When I wake up in the morning and see you next to me in the bed I have to remind myself that I'm not dreaming. I really did get the girl of my dreams."

Lost in the perfect moment, Quinn said "I feel the same way when I see you. I really am with someone who embodies everything I ever wanted in a guy. I'll always love you, Jim."

Jim continued his preamble. "These past four years have been incredible. Even when we do hit a rough patch we always seem to emerge from it a stronger couple. I'd do anything to make you happy, Quinn."

"And I'd do anything to make you happy, Jim" Quinn said in return.

Jim smiled. He'd waited for the perfect moment. That moment was now upon them. "I think you're ready for the surprise."

Jim got down on one knee. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box. He opened the box and Quinn saw the ring.

"Quinn, will you marry me?"

Quinn gasped. She knew this would happen eventually, but it's still a surprise. Jim smiled hopefully. Quinn stared at the ring with her mouth open, Jim's question seeming to play on a continuous loop in her mind. Her stunned silence began to make Jim nervous. Finally, Quinn made her decision.

A huge smile appeared on Quinn's face and a stray tear of joy ran down her cheek as she said "Yes! Yes, Jim, I will marry you!"

Jim immediately stood up and placed the ring on Quinn's finger. Quinn stared at the ring in amazement. "Jim, it's beautiful!" She immediately threw her arms around him. "Oh, Jim, I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Quinn."

They kiss. After the kiss they looked out toward the ocean. To them it symbolizes all of life's possibilities. A life they're determined to face together, through good times and bad.

**The End.**

**Author's Notes**  
That's it for season 4, hope you liked it. Next season expect to see Daria with a new boyfriend, Sandi with a girlfriend, an unexpected return to Highland and a wedding that's either going to be something out of a fairy tale or a total disaster.


End file.
